I think I'm putting down my difficult horse

[whattodowheretogo]

I've posted about my horse on here before but I'd just like some last minute opinions.

I bought him a year ago from a TB breeder and trainer as she felt that she was too old for a horse like him and she couldn't sit his spooks.

No ground manners, didn't know where to put his feet, didn't respond to pressure.

I wanted a project and he was one in every sense of the word. I fell in love with him as soon as I saw him.

When I tried him out he was good, but at the end, he took off with me across the field and didn't stop until he physically couldn't go any further. I wasn't concerned about that, I just figured he was green and overwhelmed and these things would come with time.

When we got him home he needed a chifney to be taken anywhere or he would just set his neck and try to canter off (my ex was looking after him for a lot of the time - he's a racehorse trainer and rehab yard owner so he knows what he's doing!) and even he would struggle with him.

Through the months his ground manners improved but to this day he can suddenly try to drag you somewhere and canter off.

His biggest issues are ridden. I've had many rides on him when he's simply decided to take off and nothing can stop him until he's done himself in. One lesson I had we were cantering for so long with him screeching round the corners and bucking that I was getting lightheaded. My trainer couldn't do anything but stand and watch.

He will do things like take off, then screech to a halt in front of the fence, then shoot off again.

I've taken everything right back to basics, over the winter I worked solely on the ground with him, teaching him the saddle and bridle is a positive thing, we learnt to stand stock still at the mountain block, yield to pressure etc.

But he is so unpredictable - he'll do a nasty spook at "nothing", just completely drop his shoulder.

I've spent months just walking and trotting in the school to make it a nice calm experience for him. I've honestly tried everything.

He's just messed up his only saving grace - to hack he is brilliant and super calm. But this weekend he took one look at something on the floor, bolted for home and ran into the main road. I came off, got concussion and fractured my foot.

I've been riding for 17 years, I'll ride literally anything. I ride friend's difficult horses for them if they've come off and had accidents and have a great time. But there's just something about this horse that I just think.. what is it going to take?

I'm so thankful that this wasn't a worse injury for either me or him.

I'm pretty certain that I'm going to put him down. It's something I've discussed with my vet before after he remarked what a difficult git he was.

I feel like it would be unfair on him to pass him on, I'd worry about how he'd be treated given all his quirks, whether he'd be passed on again etc but also I'd worry that he may seriously injure himself or someone else.

Thoughts/suggestions?

Ready I haven't got a bloody clue either. And I'm glad about that. I wish I hadn't read this.

Have you not read my post, Pengggwn?

Firstly, we're not talking about next time. We are talking about now. Taking along an adviser next time will make absolutely no difference to the horse we are debating about now.

Secondly, this is also about danger! The horse could injure itself fatally, therefore having to be put to sleep anyway. Wouldn't you save the horse from that trauma if you could. It's not about OP not wanting the responsibility any more. It's her responsibility to keep the horse safe, and the other horses and owners at her yard.

If OP hadn't been conflicted, she wouldn't have posted on here for advice from horsey people with experience. That is why this section is called "the tack room". If she wanted advice from all and sundry she would have posted in Chat, or AIBU.

And I'm fairly sure that animals did not evolve to be domesticated either, but so be it. In future, I would steer clear of sections that you don't know about, and therefore use this experience as a learning curve, just as you have suggested to OP. In some areas of life, sentimentality has to give way to safety.

@whymewhyme

Please try and forgive yourself. It wasn't just for financial reasons from what you've said. That may have been why you had to find a solution . But she was not sound and most people would not rehome a companion animal with health issues. You can never guarantee that someone wouldn't try and ride her again and as in this case God only knows where she would have ended up and how many people she could have hurt along the way. In my view you did the bravest and best thing for her welfare which was to give her a good ending rather than sending her off into uncertainty.

yawning801

No, sorry, you do not get to tell people they cannot comment in a public forum. There is no "must own a horse" rule. This is my opinion and I can express it if I wish to, without permission.

Peng, can I just ask you this?

If my horse had run into your car out on that road, and had caused serious injury to your family, or your family had been killed, would you still hope he would go on to live for another 25 years, potentially doing the same thing again to another person or family?

And similarly, Pengggwn, you do not get to tell people what to do with their horse.

whattodowheretogo

I would ask you what you were doing RIDING a horse you knew to be unsafe on a public road. Then I would sue you.

That is not the point. You do not have to ride him.

yawning801

Oh that was smart.

UrsulaPandress

Congratulations.

@UrsulaPandress

The fact he can be unpredictable in a non ridden situation could mean that the one day you are unable to do him (due perhaps to circumstances beyond your control) and someone else does have to handle him and could be injured says to me even 'retired' in a field will not necessarily suit.
So PTS is a good outcome.

@ReadytoTalk thank you for the lovely reply! it's so hard tho isn't it when we love our horses we want the best and in my head it could of been a fairy tale but it wasn't ment to be, I saved her from the meat man. I wanted the book to stop with me as I knew no good would of come of her if I passed her on. I really feel for the OP as none of us start out our journey for it end the way the OPs has!

Pengggwn

Using sarcasm is, at best, childish. You do know that some public roads are unavoidable, such as if they give access to the horse's field? OP does not get to pick and choose where she stables her horse - she has already stated that finding appropriate stabling is difficult.

@whymewhyme

You did the right thing by your horse, as hard as it was for you. Be kind to yourself

yawning801

But she hasn't actually said that, has she? She hasn't said, I have no option but to try to control this animal on public roads. She tried to ride him on public roads, knowing his temperament, then complains that he doesn't improve. It's ridiculous.

And frankly, when you've just been called a cunt, sarcasm is the nicest of the available responses, isn't it?

With a horse like the the buck has to stop somewhere. OP is the unlucky one who has been forced into making a decision no horse owner ever wants to make. Even the sweetest kindest horse can kill and there are enough of them looking for homes that keeping an unsafe horse is stupid.

Selling this horse on would be like selling a car where the brakes and steering only worked half of the time.

Nasty situation OP. It sounds like you might be out of options. I'd say PTS too.

Peng I was not riding on a public road. I was riding on private land that is owned by the owner of the stables. My horse bolted, and in trying to get home, ran onto the main road adjacent because he was so panicked to think straight. He was headed in completely the wrong direction.

I never called you a cunt, Pengggwn.

I think its safer to assume that these roads are unavoidable, as I don't think OP is stupid. At the end of the day, she knows him better than any of us, and she owns him, so its her decision. Are we done arguing this now?

yawning801

You can be 'done' whenever you want. I am not suggesting it isn't her decision.

@Pengggwn

I posted as a non horsey person (as you are).

The more posts I read haven't changed my view - mostly that I'm unqualified to talk about this with any authority, but based on the information from the OP and experienced owners I still think her decision is right.

It's a very emotional subject and I'll bet the person whose agonised over this more than anyone is the OP.

Anyway...I called my horsey second cousin (her DF his my DF's cousin and a farmer). Dedicated owner of horses - stables at her DF'S farm over a decade of multiple horse ownership and riding since a toddler.

Read the posts and she said PTS.

I know she loves horses (more than people ) and in this case she blinded me with stuff I didn't understand if I'm honest in response to the OP's comments (pressure/manners/feet/bolting were mentioned).

Upshot was I asked in layman's terms and she said some horses are a danger to themselves and others. Once you've ruled out health/trauma issues and done intensive training and they are still dangerous then you have no choice but to PTS as a responsible owner.

She knows her horsey shit and she's a very kind person and lover of animals (unlike me - I'm allergic). She'd never PTS an animal if there was another way and so if she says that then I'm convinced my gut feel was right.

OP - she said to send her condolences as it's a horrible position to be in, but it's the right call.

She's not on MN but might join the thread later.

whattodowheretogo

Then stop riding him. Would a period of not riding him, say 6 months, not be an option, to see whether his behaviour improves?

OP, ignore the people on this thread who clearly have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. It must be such a difficult decision for you to reach, but ultimately keeping yourself, and your horse, safe from future harm is what is most important. It really sounds like you've tried your very best for him, and I think you should take comfort from knowing that. As someone mentioned upthread, if you do decide to pts, maybe it would be worth having a post mortem carried out to see if a cause can be found? I had a Thoroughbred who behaved in a very similar manner, which died suddenly, and turned out to have a huge brain tumour. Whatever you decide I wish you all the best, you sound like a loving, responsible owner.

Not a horse owner, dogs are my thing, but i am very much of the opinion that PTS is not the worst thing for an animal. If this were a dog i'd be saying the same thing; unpredictable in all situations, no obvious triggers...why risk the animal AND anybody else coming into contact???

To those saying retire the horse knowing full well OP has no land of her own, do you have a spare field for a horse? Many yards are wary of having such highly unpredictable horses around, so OP could be one incident away from losing her livery options. Charities are stretched to breaking point. Having a horse PTS respectfully is a lot kinder & more dignified than handing it over to someone who wants to have a go...being passed from pillar to post is a shit life for any animal.

Personally OP i think you're doing right by you both.