I think I'm putting down my difficult horse

[whattodowheretogo]

I've posted about my horse on here before but I'd just like some last minute opinions.

I bought him a year ago from a TB breeder and trainer as she felt that she was too old for a horse like him and she couldn't sit his spooks.

No ground manners, didn't know where to put his feet, didn't respond to pressure.

I wanted a project and he was one in every sense of the word. I fell in love with him as soon as I saw him.

When I tried him out he was good, but at the end, he took off with me across the field and didn't stop until he physically couldn't go any further. I wasn't concerned about that, I just figured he was green and overwhelmed and these things would come with time.

When we got him home he needed a chifney to be taken anywhere or he would just set his neck and try to canter off (my ex was looking after him for a lot of the time - he's a racehorse trainer and rehab yard owner so he knows what he's doing!) and even he would struggle with him.

Through the months his ground manners improved but to this day he can suddenly try to drag you somewhere and canter off.

His biggest issues are ridden. I've had many rides on him when he's simply decided to take off and nothing can stop him until he's done himself in. One lesson I had we were cantering for so long with him screeching round the corners and bucking that I was getting lightheaded. My trainer couldn't do anything but stand and watch.

He will do things like take off, then screech to a halt in front of the fence, then shoot off again.

I've taken everything right back to basics, over the winter I worked solely on the ground with him, teaching him the saddle and bridle is a positive thing, we learnt to stand stock still at the mountain block, yield to pressure etc.

But he is so unpredictable - he'll do a nasty spook at "nothing", just completely drop his shoulder.

I've spent months just walking and trotting in the school to make it a nice calm experience for him. I've honestly tried everything.

He's just messed up his only saving grace - to hack he is brilliant and super calm. But this weekend he took one look at something on the floor, bolted for home and ran into the main road. I came off, got concussion and fractured my foot.

I've been riding for 17 years, I'll ride literally anything. I ride friend's difficult horses for them if they've come off and had accidents and have a great time. But there's just something about this horse that I just think.. what is it going to take?

I'm so thankful that this wasn't a worse injury for either me or him.

I'm pretty certain that I'm going to put him down. It's something I've discussed with my vet before after he remarked what a difficult git he was.

I feel like it would be unfair on him to pass him on, I'd worry about how he'd be treated given all his quirks, whether he'd be passed on again etc but also I'd worry that he may seriously injure himself or someone else.

Thoughts/suggestions?

Horse isn't safe on the ground and has to be led in a very strong bit. The breeding stallions I used to work with weren't led in the same bit, to show how strong it is.

It sounds like the horse is desperately unhappy and as the op doesn't have her own land and therefore cannot make sure the horse won't be passed from pillar to post and abused, pts at home is the next best thing.

I also think it's horrible Pengggwn.

I have a similar horse. I just decided to retire him and put him with the rest of my herd. He's a happy horse, and a valuable member of the herd - just not suited for more (although he's really fond of clicker training and playing with his ball). I also tried loads of different trainers etc... Nothing worked. So now he's been retired for +- at least 15 years now could be more. He's in his twenties. If you buy a horse you should always prepare for every eventuality. They are not disposable commodities, it's a serious commitment.

Thank you for all of your different perspectives so far. I do appreciate and understand them all.

To those calling me horrible, do you really think that about a (generally) dignified ending knowing that he will never suffer or hurt anyone again? He's been treated like a king for the last year and I have done EVERYTHING possible to help him.

Peng - he has gotten the best of very experienced handlers and riders, AND professionals, both on and off the ground. This isn't some small pony who gives the occasional grumpy nip. We're talking about a very powerful horse who takes off when panicked (often over "nothing") who shows no regard for anything in its wake. Did you miss the part of my post where he ran out into a main road blindly and caused a huge pile up while we had to catch him? He could have killed someone or have been killed.

It seems as though some people think I'm doing cartwheels at the prospect of saying goodbye to him. I've driven an hour every single day, rain or shine, to see him and take care of him. I've used every last penny to see if we can find something physically wrong and treat it so he's not in pain and lead a happy normal life!

But if my options are keep him for another 25 years as an incredibly expensive or difficult pet, or put him to sleep knowing he will never come to harm, it's a bit of a no brainer. I can't afford two horses.

Unfortunately no rescue will have him, when you call around they all advise to put to sleep. And as others have mentioned, I would rather their very limited spaces are reserved for neglect cases who can go on to be rehomed.

Again, thanks for everyone and their advice and apologies if this post sounds snappy.

'They are not disposable commodities, it's a serious commitment.'

Quite

can you put a month in trying to rehome/companion etc

Sounds like he's had many moves and changes. Some good ideas up thread.

It's the hardest bloody decision in the world and I wish you peace with whatever you decide.

OP, if it is a no-brained, why ask? Go and kill your horse. Next time, try getting one you know can be ridden, eh?

If you buy a horse you should always prepare for every eventuality.

This feels like very valuable advice for the future.

'it's a bit of a no brainer.'

Oh

No need to apologise OP. It's those who don't understand and are wading in with ill-judged comments who need to apologise.

Very best wishes. None of us take these decisions lightly. You are absolutely doing the right thing by your boy. I wish more people were like you and we wouldn't have some of the sad welfare cases that are seen now.

@Marthasginyard no the horse should not be rehomed even as a companion. If you knew anything about horses, you would know that the potential for the horse being mistreated is massive. If you own an animal, you owe it a secure future. The poor OP has given it a year exploring lots of different options.

you all seem very dismissive of the other options :/ i do know of 2 people who have had to use charities specifically set up for difficult / unusable horses to retrain (spinning into traffic, wont catch, reverting to unpacked behaviour). they never sell on to individuals, loan only to experienced owners/trainers and will always take back as companion horses and never put to sleep. clearly its only in Yorkshire that these exist if no 1 else knows of them??

I think this is massively emotive even when you do understand the ins and outs of horse ownership..., you may be better posting in a dedicated horse forum like horse and hound for advice.
For the non- horsey people... a horse like this is like having a dog that bites... you can do a lot to minimise the danger, but if you can't handle them without them reacting unpredictably then you can never be anything approaching safe. Someone I know had a horse like this- retired it to the field and then it got away when being brought in to have his feet done.... jumped a gate, ran into a main road, tried to jump the car that was about to hit it and ended up with two legs through the roof of the car- the poor thing had to be shot by a local farmer, so died trapped, terrified and with broken legs. The driver of the car ended up with life changing head injuries, and the horse's owner will never forgive herself for the suffering caused all round.
So yes, I totally understand where you're coming from, and I think you're very wise to look at all your options.

Isn't it funny how many people turn up and comment even though they have absolutely no idea about horses. Although - actually they've seen some horses before in their life so that qualifies them to comment on what to do with a dangerous horse, of a non native breed who as he gets older will need quite a high level of care potential overnight stabling so costs will only go up. It's all very well if you have a herd of horses and one more doesn't make much difference but the OP is paying £400 a month and driving for 2 hours every day to look after a horse that she cant even enjoy on the ground.

Maybe voci has room for this horse as well? Doubt they'd put their money where their mouth is. I think that sentimentality doesn't really get you far when it comes to horses. The person who had responsibility for this horse was the previous owner but she decided to pass the buck off on to the op.

If it was a dog that had badly bitten someone would people still be advocating that it should be kept alive for many years even though it poses a danger to humans? It's the same - although a horse has a much greater chance of killing someone than a dog does. A well aimed kick or rear will do it.

The person who had responsibility for this horse was the previous owner but she decided to pass the buck off on to the op.

Erm, no. The OP deliberately went out to buy a "project" horse. She knew the animal was poorly trained and took it on anyway. I am not saying she hasn't done her best, but nobody forced her into this situation.

And clearly there is very little room for sentimentality when it comes to horses. Sort of like animals in the circus, isn't it? Doesn't perform to order? Kill it.

It is a no brainer OP. You are right.

And I say that as someone with similar background/experience to you.

For all those saying just keep him as a pet it's not that easy. Horses require the farrier every 8 weeks. Teeth and vaccinations every year. A blood horse will probably need bringing in and turning daily in the winter. He might injure himself and need the vet or take ill. Then you have half a tonne of unpredictable animal with teeth and hooves who is in pain and needs someone to hold him and a vet to diagnose and treat him.

This isn't an owner who has reached the first hurdle and wants to give up.

Bolting in traffic is so bloody dangerous. It would be irresponsible to ride him out ever again. Irresponsible to ask anyone else to have to do anything with him. Vets and farriers and equine dentists are usually self employed, usually have families and risk their lives and health every time they work. Asking them to do it when you know how unpredictable he is is really unfair but you know that already OP.

I would PTS as soon as possible. Sadly some horses never come right and it is not irresponsible to chose PTS. It is the most responsible thing you can do for him and for any other person that might ever have to deal with him.

I would be letting him have a week at grass filling his belly with grass then pts at home in a calm environment.

for you OP. It's not easy. I did it this time last year for a much loved pony who wasn't in agony, but uncomfortable and only ever going to get worse. We could have probably gone another year with meds. But decided enough was enough.

It was very calm and.peaceful at the end and I actually cried with relief when it was over. I have absolutely no regrets.

What Broke said
If you can't retire and keep then you PTS. Imagine if he got passed on as not to be ridden, ended up being ridden and killed someone. That's why it's responsible, there's enough unwanted good horses without adding in dangerous ones

Pengggwn

Unfortunately, OP is not the irresponsible one here. There is a chance that the horse was drugged when OP tried him out. It happens more often than you think - the horse injures someone so they put him up for sale, slip him a tranquilliser, cross their fingers and let people try him. Some horses do get overwhelmed (especially hot-blooded TBs), which can cause them to bolt. That last sentence is what OP presumed had happened, and so she bought him on the basis that for the majority of the ride, he had been good.

In the past year he has caused an incredible amount of danger. OP could have been centimetres away from being hit by a car in that incident. She can't sell him on to a charity - one, they are stuffed to the gills as it is, and two, they would not have the time, equipment or money to splash out on finding a trainer who can deal with him. She can't sell him on without revealing these dangerous habits - that would make her just as bad as the people who sold him to her in the first place, and the people she would sell him to may not be as sympathetic and persevering as she has been.

Can't you tell that OP feels a great amount of responsibility already? If she falls ill and is unable to get to the yard, how can she focus on getting better without worrying about the danger that she has put someone else in - someone else who most likely has less experience and with whom the horse is unfamiliar?

If the alternative to years of stress, walking on eggshells and waiting for the more serious injuries that will inevitably come, is letting him pass in a humane way in his own home alongside his friends, then it is a no-brainer. Would you want him to be holed up in either his stable or his field for the next twenty-five years, never going out to an event or for a hack? That would, if anything, make his problems a hell of a lot worse. I hope you can understand that this decision never comes easy, but you have to weigh up the pros and cons of keeping him alive and to see that the cons do, in this case, unfortunately outweigh the pros.

The only thing I would say is try increasing his exercise before you make any other decisions . I had an ex race mare who was horrible to handle and a menace to ride in the school , her redeeming features were that she hacked beautifully and was incredibly good looking . She was 10 when we bought her and we managed fine until she was 16 and I started my nurse training , unfortunately time constraints meant that instead of being ridden 6 days a week she was only ridden 3/4 and she started being very unreliable on hacks and was an absolute danger . We took a decision to retire her as it was the only safe thing to do and I’m sure it was because she wasn’t in the routine of being worked 6/7 days . She was finally pts at 27 after a few issues with her health including what appeared to be advanced dementia .

Thanks Frouby. I appreciate your kind words and everyone else (both horsey and non horsey) who has offered genuine advice and support, whether in agreement or not.

I know this is an emotive subject and accept everyone has different views, but I posted this in the horse section for a reason - to talk with others who actually understand the time, effort, money and emotional stress of owning a horse. It is all of these things when you have a good one, let alone one who is difficult.

Nobody takes these decisions lightly and if I didn't care about him I wouldn't have spent the last year doing every test and work up to try to help him.

To all the people who haven't had/handled/ worked around horses - do jog on!

To put to sleep a dangerous horse, after doing your absolute best to find out why the horse is dangerous and after trying to work through the issues fully is a kindness and nothing more. There is something - either medically or psychologically -terrifying this horse to the point of blind bolting. This isnt a 'cheeky' horse. This isn't a happy and healthy horse. This isn't a case of the horse being too much for someone naive. This is an unwell and distressed horse which poses (and has caused) a true danger to itself and other horses and members of the public.

You can't just pop a TB in a field and say hi to them once a day - they have care needs above and beyond native ponies. Those care needs require handling. Handling that causes distress and danger! It doesn't take a genius to work out that this makes this situation untenable!

Would you not pts a poorly animal generally? If your dog was dangerous would you chuck it in the back garden and hope it didn't get out and bite someone? It's the same with horses. When a horse is that damaged then putting them to sleep is a kindness to them. THAT is the action of a responsible owner, one who wants to do the best for the animal and for anyone who comes into contact with it - willingly or by accident! An irresponsible owner would be rehoming that horse - allowing it to be passed around and end up being sold for meat or harming someone gravely. Making that decision is the act of a responsible and compassionate owner. It's a bloody hard one but if you take on any animal you must be prepared to make it.

I would PTS, with his head in a bucket of feed and the sun on his back. Anyone who says anything different- unless they have an actual possible solution - is talking utter nonsense and has no real understanding of just how much distress that horse is likely to be in. X

yawning801

If the horse was drugged when the OP bought him, I'd argue she needs to take someone who is able to advise her along next time she buys a horse. Sorry, but it is about individual responsibility, and no, putting the animal to sleep because it can't do what you want isn't taking responsibility, it is killing an animal because you no longer want it to be your responsibility.

I'm sure she doesn't feel great about her decision, but I'm not exactly getting a sense of inner conflict either. She sounds more like she resents the horse, which is unreasonable, given horses did not evolve to be ridden.

@Pengggwn

The more you post the more obvious it is you haven't got a bloody clue what you're talking about.

ReadytoTalk

Nevertheless, that's what I think, and the OP asked for opinions. She has mine alongside those of the people who agree with her.

You sounds like you've done everything but it depends what you can live with. I have done it, I rescued a mare she turned out to be nuts but fabulous on the ground, soon after I had her she went lame and was never sound again, I justified keeping her by saying she was a companion but then I lost my other mare, got pregnant and I couldn't afford her, I had her PTS a day that will live with me forever, it was horrendous . I forever live with the guilt of putting a horse down for financial reasons. she was a lovely girl and 2 years on I can't believe I went through with it. That being said you have to do what is best for you, I couldn't pay the money you are for something unrideable.