inference from another owner

[AMcoffeeLover]

Been loitering for a while but need some help now!
So I have an old (27 years old, 18 in a school, 3 with me) school horse who had a hard life but is now enjoying a happily ever after he has 3 great paces - slow, slower and stop! And I love him that way. His main use is to cuddle me and the occasional "wonder over yonder" hack.
But there is a very pushy girl at the small yard I keep my boy at who keeps trying to "motivate" him! Started out with her giving tips and telling me to "boot him on", slap his bum as we go past and say trot on ect. This annoyed me but was tolerable.
When I first got him he was very whip shy, if he could see someone with one he would shy and rear. Now he's fine, he know I'll never use one and that's fine. But the whip fear has been coming back over the last few weeks and have just discovered that she's been going into the geldings field (she has a mare) and "training" him while i'm not there. using a whip I wondered why is head collar was moving around but assumed I was being silly and not paying attention to where I put it.
I'm hopping mad and as its on the (brand new) CCTV she can't deny it.
I want to go in yelling but know its not the right way to go. How do I approach this and make sure it NEVER happens again?
I know im over protective of him but he's mine and if I accept him as he is and pamper him then that's up to me.
I could explode i'm so angry.

I have been lurking. Fantastic yard owner!

Well handled by you and the yard owner.

Hopefully that girl although unapologetic now, once she has time to reflect, has learned a lesson in life.

Call the RSPCA and ask them to explain the legal issues? Whether it is a criminal act etc? Because then e did she not know theryou can speak with some authority to her in what you can do with the footage.

If she has a horse there does she not know there is cctv?

She sounds a bit disturbed to be honest , to interfere like that, with someone else's horse, and an obviously old one. It isn't normal behaviour, is it?
She should definitely be evicted because she can't be trusted.

Oh! Sorry, somehow missed updates !

Thanks for updating OP. Really pleased to hear outcome and that your boy is enjoying his morning sunshine!

I put this thread on watch about 4 30 this morning because I was too tired to reply! Now I see everything has moved on!

Just wanted to echo how fabulous your yard owner is! It must be wonderful to know the horses have someone so utterly on their side! I actually agree about the social media comments. I know in our local area we have a yard owners page where bad liveries, non payers etc are listed. I'm not entirely convinced it's legal but there is definitely a need for it here and people have been very good about staying factual and professional rather than bitching!

He's very happy in his new field even managed a few paces in a happy Trot!

Late to the thread and have just read all your posts op. I'm gab smacked.

Firstly, what a lovely lovely lovely horse owner you are!!!

Secondly what an abomination that other woman is (she's 18, she's an adult and therefore a woman. Her age isn't an excuse). That awful piece of work would have unleash hell from me if I had seen that.

But, the yard owner was wonderful, treasure that woman!

I'm glad it's working out now but sorry your lovely plodder had to endure that, 2kg of treats will more than make up for I'm sure.

Is it appropriate to get the yard owner a thank you gift? Really want to show how thankful I am but not 100% sure about wine/chocs....seems to celebratory after she's just kicked out a source of her income.....

I'm so pleased you have a good yard owner who dealt with it well.

Glad your boy is happy again. Hopefully he'll soon relax again and be back to his old self without that idiot around.

Can't believe she didn't apologise and still tried to justify herself. Mind you, I can't believe anyone could treat a horse like that in the first place. I guess there's just no understanding some people.

How about a thank you card op? Just a simple thanks for having our backs type message?

Good idea, a nice card from me and my boy

Op, don't look at it as her losing a source of income.

She is rightly protecting her income, having a person on her yard like that would in the long run ruin her business. As I'm sure if she was aloud to stay after this discovery. People would soon be upping and leaving. Because 1. the girl wouldn't be trusted and 2. Would feel like the yard owner dosen't have the balls / respect to look after the rest of you on the yard.
Rumour would soon get round.

I think a card and possibly chocs and wine would be OK.

I'm glad this all got sorted properly. Your poor boy! I'm sure he'll notice the absence of that little scrote and know you did right by him, horses are very intelligent animals.

"seems to celebratory after she's just kicked out a source of her income....."

Agree with the idea of a thank you card. But don't worry - she sounds like a great yard owner and I'm sure she'll fill the space if she wants to.

I would just quietly keep hold of the CCTV footage and keep your ear to the ground re. this young woman. Sadly I have a feeling she'll do the same thing again elsewhere and it would be useful to have more evidence against her. For goodness sake don't watch it though. Give it to a trusted friend for safekeeping.

She may lose short term but she'll gain a lot more when people realise she puts horses welfare before money.

She sounds like exactly the sort of person I'd wanted looking after my horse whereas if she'd let this young woman get away with it, she would have been exactly the person I would have avoided. I'm sure she'll fill the empty space.

Poor boy had a melt down over a stick earlier. It was about 2 foot long and reasonably thick but his reaction was strong, much stronger than ever before. went from docile and a bit zoned out to mega shying and rolling his eyes.
How do I help him over it? Before I could just ignore his behaviour as it was mild and he got over it. But this was hard to hold under control and i'm pretty sure has strained his knee.
Training/relaxing tips anyone?

I would just go back to doing what you have always done. Be calm and consistent and he will settle down once more. It will take a while for his confidence to come back but keep doing as you have always done and it will. Don't be tempted too test his reaction to sticks, just make sure there aren't any around him and he will settle down

Unfortunately the yard has woodland on 3 sides so sticks are un avoidable!

What elastamum said.
Be sure to spend as much time as possible just hanging out with him - just being in the field with him. You don't have to do anything, just be around as a soothing, harmless presence - sit around, sunbathe, read a book or whatever. Seriously, just hanging out in the same place as your horse is a really good way to develop a bond, trust and confidence.

Agree with elastamum and July. Try to be as normal as possible with him. The more normal and calm you are, the more he'll see there's no trouble and get back to how he was. Unfortunately sometimes we get more hung up about things than they do and pass the worry on.

My boy has his scratchy spots on his neck and shoulders. If he's looking to me for physical reassurance that's where I rub him and then he knows things are OK.

Spent all day with him and his 100% fine in the field and stable. If I walk the route from stable to field (past woodland) its like he's looking for sticks on the floor to spook at. I took a risk (sealed parameters so no danger of roads ect) and took his head collar off and walk beside him with a hand on his shoulder and even though we passes all the sticks that spooked him before and even a whip he'd not seen before he was fine, really relaxed. I think its the combo of a possible weapon in sight plus something restraining on his head. All done with yard owners permission and locked gates at the entrance with an empty yard.
Might try turning him out in his bridle which he loves as I can't have him loose with a yard full of people I don't think.
he wouldn't be dangerous to others if he properly spooks but i'm worried he'll pull his knee which is finally stable.

Spent all day with him and his 100% fine in the field and stable. If I walk the route from stable to field (past woodland) its like he's looking for sticks on the floor to spook at. I took a risk (sealed parameters so no danger of roads ect) and took his head collar off and walk beside him with a hand on his shoulder and even though we passes all the sticks that spooked him before and even a whip he'd not seen before he was fine, really relaxed. I think its the combo of a possible weapon in sight plus something restraining on his head. All done with yard owners permission and locked gates at the entrance with an empty yard.
Might try turning him out in his bridle which he loves as I can't have him loose with a yard full of people I don't think.
he wouldn't be dangerous to others if he properly spooks but i'm worried he'll pull his knee which is finally stable.

Have you thought about trying one of the rope halters? The proper ones are nice and soft and have a long rope (10 - 12 feet). Because they are loose around the head they apply no pressure unless pulled plus the long rope means you can give him plenty of room without seeming like you're holding but still have lots of rope to control if needed. You could walk by his shoulder with a loose lead so he doesn't feel restrained but still be able to hold or turn him if needed.

The other advantage is you have lots of room so you don't need to bring them up sharp or fast which may help keep the strain off his knee?

If you do decide to try go for a really good quality one rather than a cheap copy, there is a world of difference!