The Sixty Third Republic - as we glide into staycations the DfE whip up anti-school media storm

[StaffRepFeistyClub]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement for school staff to let off steam.

Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

Do not give the staffroom password to non-staff as it attracts the wrong sort of crowd.

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation. Do not sit on the chairs and do wear a mask. Finally, upload your covid test results twice a week on Wednesdays and Sundays.

@noblegiraffe

How can you have a part time teacher teach 3 days and not have split classes? Our KS4 classes, for example, have maths 4 days a week, so you couldn't have a part time teacher on 3 full days teach KS4 without a split.

At my school they have created doubles for this. It could even be later in the day.

So we have our year 10s P 3 and 4 Monday and then again 2 and 5 on the Tuesday. Not ideal.

Better than this year though due to covid. I had my class full of Bobs for nearly three hours. It wasn't good.

One of our year 10 classes had double English Friday after break followed by double English after lunch.

Part timer Friday has their lesson p5 on Friday. At least it's not p6 I guess.

Oh wow I’d rather a longer working week than double/quadruple Y10.

I love English but that would have broken me!!

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/covid-lateral-flow-test-charged-b1879797.html?utm_content=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1625669523

I mean what? WHAT?! Literally what did I just read?? WTAF?

Luckily we have approximately 35874278744 boxes of them lurking in the school hall...

Yeah we can ask the kids who haven't used them to bring them back in too. We'll be good till 2024.

It's an interesting development though. I think they have found out from their 'daily testing' trial, that they're shit.

DS's school on the other hand ran out 78billion years ago.

Perhaps this can be an ingenious way PTAs and bursars can make money. Sell surplus stock to other schools/on Ebay.

You can have some of ours Piggy. We're expecting some more this week!!!

Thanks Mrs.

I think...

DH said 'with Sajid Javid as health sec, we've now effectively got two chancellors trying to save the economy'.

Before Ebay clamped down, and stopped being weird and fun, there was whole subsection selling used worn stuff (tights, shoes, bras) . It was alarmingly diverting.

Maybe we could try selling 'part used' LFDs. Opened swab, not yet been used? 99p. Swab : bargain ; used once VGC! BIN £78.00

I'll pop round, maybe bring Bob on a little trip out.

@noblegiraffe

DH said 'with Sajid Javid as health sec, we've now effectively got two chancellors trying to save the economy'.

He's not wrong there.

@flumposie another crazy slt! How rubbish!

@MrsHamlet

I'll pop round, maybe bring Bob on a little trip out.

Bit of work experience for his CV.

He's currently in trouble so he might not be allowed out to play.
A trip with me could be considered a punishment though.

Strangely, we had some returned to us today in a plastic bag containing overdue library books and text books........

noble, your theory has to be right doesn’t it? Also explains why the only mention of LFTs (iirc) in the ‘Grand opening up everything and let’s stick our fingers in our ears when scientists try and explain those pesky graphs again’ Plan was ‘a couple at the beginning of term and then a few more up to Oct 1st’.

Just when you think it couldn’t get worse.

And have you seen Halfon’s latest ‘catchphrases’? ( BBC):

Robert Halfon MP tells the liaison committee that 640,000 pupils were sent home from school because of positive cases in their classrooms this week.

He says there are 93,500 "ghost children" who haven't returned to school since 8 March.

There are "exam orphans" who are missing one in four days of face-to-face teaching, Halfon says.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/covid-lateral-flow-test-charged-b1879797.html?utm_content=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1625669523

LOL. They've realised they aren't fit for purpose and don't want to be left with warehouses full of the bloody things, haven't they?

"Exam orphans"?! Dear god.
I'm sure little Bob in year 7 who is an actual orphan will be delighted at the hyperbole of that utter bollocks.

He says there are 93,500 "ghost children" who haven't returned to school since 8 March.

I don't suppose it's occurred to him to ask why those children aren't in school. Or that the bulk of them might be made of up CEV or CV children for whom school is now unsafe.

Yup Rafa (see discussion above). Are they maybe working on the principle that when you start charging for something it increases its perceived value???

@DreamingofBrie happy holidays.

Feeling really bored at home, I really want to get prepared for next year. Just trying to think of transition day activities. They already know each other so trying to think of something fun but not too unmanageable. I'm think I'm different to my partner teacher so hopefully it will work well.

It is utter bo isn’t it? He must have liked all the publicity he got for his four horsemen quote in the winter.