The Fifty Seventh Republic - the joy of bank holiday marking

[StaffRepFeistyClub]

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As far as I can tell, 'holistic' appears to be the opposite of 'rigorous' and 'consistent'.

@noblegiraffe

As far as I can tell, 'holistic' appears to be the opposite of 'rigorous' and 'consistent'.

Yes. Our marking protocols are as watertight as they can be, but it looks as though all the detail will then be put to one side.

(I fear we will be forced to introduce the sort of inaccuracies that we warn about in our teaching: think “grouped data in a frequency table” and “calculations with rounded values”.)

@RuleWithAWoodenFoot

Oh, last Friday there was a wasp in the room. It didn't come within 2m of any child at any point, but we might as well have just gone home.

I have a Super Power when it comes to getting rid of wasps! I am renowned for it and I get a round of applause from the kids when I perform.

Basically, turn out the lights, open the windows (assuming you have any that actually open!) and they immediately head out towards the light.

Callme, I'm pretty good with wasps too. Unfortunately sparrows don't follow the same rules.

I’m going to try that Hendricks!

I had a complete fail the first time this year of actually thinking telling them to ignore it would work cue chaos and head of maths coming to the rescue. Next time I was more successful with 5 minutes faffing around steering it out with 2 kids books.

Your method sounds much saner.

Yes, I have really high windows in my room (4m + ceilings), so just opened those. Took awhile for it to leave though. Cue chaos.

My child has been a baddun, so has been banned from screens today. She's currently reading. a. book. through. choice.

This has never happened before.

I can tell you what NOT to do if you have a wasp. Don’t use a heavy book to whack it when it’s on a window.... had to explain the cracked/broken window to the caretaker in my NQT year 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I recently relocated a bee using a pencil holder and a piece of card. Our windows are too high to reach so I had to go all the way down the hall and out the door with it 😅

My hod has a complete phobia of bees and wasps. If one goes into his room he very calmly says "I just need to pop to the office for a minute, just steer the wasp out the window by the time I get back", then abandons the class to whatever chaos happens. It's very funny, because he's normally very strict about everything but literally leaves them to whatever happens the minute there's a bee/wasp.

Your method sounds great Hendricks, I'll try that next time.

We did some bug-collecting in Science this week, and brought some back to the classroom to use identification keys. It was hilarious.
I'm not mad keen on creepy-crawlies at the best of times, but hammed it up a bit, recoiling at one unpleasantly large, fat and bristly worm which I maintained was about to attack me...
Two of my mildest, meekest little girls "rescued" me (from certain death!) by picking it up with their bare hands and taking it outside without even flinching.
Most of the boys couldn't move for hysterical laughter.
In walked the Head at this point, joined in with mocking me and, laughing her head off, left me to restore order.

Oh, but my other Super Power, apart from wasp-whispering, is stopping hiccups in children just by staring at them.

Basically, turn out the lights, open the windows (assuming you have any that actually open!) and they immediately head out towards the light.

My classroom has a wasp's nest somewhere nearby, which the caretaker cannot find, so for the first half of the Autumn Term we had wasps 5+ times per day.

We got really slick at dealing with them - the Lights Squad turned out the light, and the Wasp Squad used their books to usher it out of the windows or door (both wide open, for obvious Covid reasons). Even the boy who would cower under his desk mewing in fear at the start of the year was a keen member of the Wasp Squad by half term.

Had my second jab rather unexpectedly today! My GP surgery is a vaccine hub and seems to be speeding through them which is great.

Talking of bugs and things, I once had a spider crawl up my arm during an Ofsted observation-my absolute worst nightmare!!

I'm at mils house right now and so incredibly fuming. She's just voiced some incredibly racist views and I am completely horrified by her. I have given her a right mouthful and I want to leave right now but DH is carrying on the conversation. I can't leave without him, and I can't escape anywhere because there isn't anywhere else to go.

Argh MrsAD gin and empathy. My inlaws can be similar.

Holistic is definitely an SLT arse covering word for when they re grade everyone.

"I once had a spider crawl up my arm during an Ofsted observation-my absolute worst nightmare!!"
I had an Ofsted inspector trip over her own feet coming into my lesson and concuss herself. I did all the correct things, first aid protocol-wise, and by the time she came round, she appeared to think she'd seen an outstanding lesson.
I said, "I'm having that!"

Save me.....
I've marked 179 of the questions I need to mark this weekend and the will to live has been lost....

If you find my last school on Google maps, we are all lined up in the field for a fire alarm. They seemed to happen every other day at one point.

Think I am officially old. Been into town with my husband for a few drinks and we didn't enjoy it at all.
It was cold and wet and I was huddled under a blanket. Queues for even the most ropy pubs. Others were booked up and you had to wait for everything.
Literally no joy in it. The weather makes it but then we were literally sat in the street in a gates off area as were the other places. They all look the same.

Happy Saturday all.

Well I've finally escaped mil's house (garden really). I've told dh that I will tolerate her for one afternoon a year from now on and he can deal with her alone. I used to stick up for her and we've even invited her on holiday with us a few times. No more. I suspect she'll be happy with that as well, because she already thought I was "opinionated" for daring to think women are equal to men, and now I've shouted at her and told her she's racist. Because she is.

Interestingly local news is reporting Indian variant and says three schools involved, but, unlike with some local press in other areas, schools not named...

@Piggywaspushed

Interestingly local news is reporting Indian variant and says three schools involved, but, unlike with some local press in other areas, schools not named...

I would have thought it would be in the public interest to know which schools are involved. It's not as if it's the schools fault or it would damage their reputation.

It juts seems to be the way round here. Omerta.

just

OK so is omerta a typo too?? So three schools involved, wow.

Nasty, mrsAD.....