The Thirty-First Republic - oh the joy of on-line parents evenings

[StaffAssociationRepresentative]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

Gosh same smile. She denies to this very day that she didn't tell me!

My DF got remarried in secret without telling me too.

Philip Larkin had it right.

@MsAwesomeDragon glad your daughter is now home

@WhyNotMe40 and @SmileEachDay I feel for you both. That's awful I think some parents forget that when dc go to uni, They are still only 18 which is still very young.

@MrsHamlet I hope things improve soon for you. I'm sure you are doing so much better than you think glad the gin was good.

She denies to this very day that she didn't tell me!

Ha. Mine too. Although mainly she just gets angry when challenged about a.n.y.t.h.I.n.g so I limit the amount of contact I have pretty heavily.

Yeah. Larkin wasn’t even exaggerating for effect, eh?

To be fair, a lot of women, especially of our mums' generation were trapped in awful marriages and DCs going off to uni seemed to be the catalyst/opportunity to escape (as did affairs as someone to escape to/with). DH's mum did the same when he went to the US with his DBro and DF for a football camp thing.

To all going through a tough time.

Gosh why that's so like my mum. When I was about 19 I spent a few days in a psych hospital because I was scared of how suicidal I was feeling. My mum came to see me and said virtually the same thing - why are you doing this to me? You've always been so selfish! (Certain she would deny this of course as many things she's done are totally denied).

Sorry you had similar.

MrsH that's truly shit. Is there an end in sight? How long are you stuck living together? When similar happened to me it was pre motherhood and a 2 bed, 2 reception rooms house. I turned the front room that we'd never really used into my own very me sitting room and moved into the spare bedroom for the remainder of the tenancy.

I had a nice dinner and it was good to have a change of scene. Going to have an hour or two chilling with coffee then press on and finish sorting my bedroom.

Hi folks

Just popping by to remind you not to discuss other threads and users not on this thread - it will end up being deleted. Thanks.

So sad hearing of all your god awful parents. and extra and for those still in a shot situation. The horror of having to live with an ex.

Can I ask a stupid NQT type question? When you go for an interview with another school, you need to tell your current school about it obviously.
Does it cause any bad feeling from your current school if they know you are thinking of leaving?

Does it cause any bad feeling from your current school if they know you are thinking of leaving?

It shouldn’t - I’ve never had anything but supportive reactions but I may just have been lucky!!

when It depends on the leadership and to some extent why you're leaving. Eg moving for promotion or relocation is usually a non issue. Some heads take it personally if you leave for the same role elsewhere. Most places will be completely professional and treat you exactly the same.

I had a head bring me in for a chat once.

I'd think carefully though. A new school can be really hard for the first year or 2 and this year is going to have been tough for anyone let alone doing your nqt year after the disruption to your training year.

Worth considering whether it would be easier to stay put for a year before adding new challenges. I may be over cautious because I'm prone to burn out and taking on a lot then regretting it.

And thanks when. It's a very long time ago and long resolved emotionally. I am in close contact with my family and I can accept now that they are really limited in some ways and not to expect them to be able to do or be what they're not capable of.

I think there's quite a lot of undiagnosed asd and other issues in my family and a few years back I found myself wondering if maybe I'm on the spectrum also. I'm ok though really so long as I don't get into relationships. Relationships drain the life out of me and feel really unnatural in terms of the levels of demands people make of each other. I may just have bad taste in men but I end up feeling sucked dry and emotionally exhausted. I'm aware that's probably an issue in other peoples eyes and something I should want to fix but I'd really just prefer to stay single.

Honey I agree. If things are tolerable where you are then stay put right now! I'm also naturally more cautious though and a job move is not something I could cope with at the moment.

There's a lot to be said for being at a school for a long time. The generational relationships between siblings, friendship groups etc takes a long time to build up. You start from scratch somewhere new.

I've also become expensive which puts me off because I'd have to interview miles better than an NQT which I would struggle with (although I'd do a better job once I got it).

@WhenSheWasBad

So sad hearing of all your god awful parents. and extra and for those still in a shot situation. The horror of having to live with an ex.

Can I ask a stupid NQT type question? When you go for an interview with another school, you need to tell your current school about it obviously.
Does it cause any bad feeling from your current school if they know you are thinking of leaving?

Why are you thinking of leaving? Is it because of the people or the job?

I changed to teaching in my late 30s and was long enough in the tooth to know what I was and wasn't willing to put up with. One school came to a natural end as I was on a maternity cover, but I wouldn't have reapplied anyway, due to the way I was treated by some of my colleagues, some of the parents/pupils and the complete lack of interest or support from SLT.

I've moved schools twice since I qualified (now 6 years post qualification) and didn't have any bad feeling from either. Do consider the current circumstances though - if it's the systems, will they be different elsewhere? If it's the people, could anything change? If it's the people, I'd probably get out.

To you all with naff parents.

I've been relatively lucky with mine. My dad was/is a mess due to his parents treatment of him so he's determined to be different and so far so good.

Definitely. It's my third year at this school and it's so much easier with the kids now. I taught a lot of year 7 in my first couple of years so am known to most of the kids plus there's a strange acceptance that you are actually part of the school rather than an outsider who'll probably leave any minute.

I think high staff turnover is something kids are instinctively aware of and it manifests in a probably unconscious appreciation of or security with familiar faces. Life gets easier and relationships seem to be half built before you even teach them. It's also nice to walk round school and have kids you don't teach anymore say hi and chat to you.

I really don't want to change school and start again but I need more hours!

Anyone else been told they'll have to invigilate mocks this year due to the usual temps being (understandably) unavailable? I wonder what will happen to Covid rates when you put 200+ unmasked year 11s in a gym for two weeks

@winewolfhowls the jigsaw calendar is this one: www.amazon.co.uk/Gibsons-Christmas-Around-Advent-Calendar/dp/B089NTWLG1/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=christmas+around+the+world+advent+calendar+jigsaw&sprefix=christmas+aroun&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1606646036&sr=8-1
I got it from Gibsons but they've now sold out (and it wasn't quite that expensive!)
Mum's hobbies are golf, diy and jigsaws so it's perfect for her :)

Sugar. Just had DH (Deputy Head, don't have a MN 'DH'!) on phone, now DD has to isolate, not clear exactly how long for yet. So at least she can keep DS company, who's halfway thru a fortnight off just because we don't have enough staff. No official parent or staff email yet to find out how many of Y11 will be out - to add to all of years 7, 9, 10 and 12..... Y8 back tmrw after 2 weeks off.....

@Augustbreeze

Sugar. Just had DH (Deputy Head, don't have a MN 'DH'!) on phone, now DD has to isolate, not clear exactly how long for yet. So at least she can keep DS company, who's halfway thru a fortnight off just because we don't have enough staff. No official parent or staff email yet to find out how many of Y11 will be out - to add to all of years 7, 9, 10 and 12..... Y8 back tmrw after 2 weeks off.....

Oh dear. I think ds's isolation runs to 2/12 but school won't be open to him till the 7th anyway due to year closures for staffing issues. He is too happy to not be at school to be bothered by having to isolate so far. God knows how much harder getting him to school will be after having been out again for weeks.

It's certainly different this December isn't it: no diary dates for staff party and other Christmas delights, just notes of when isolation ends for you or your kids!

December is strange. No shows, no parties, not even any Christmas holiday plans really.

One positive is I don't get Sunday night dread any more. I think it's because I'm looking forward to seeing people. (and probably in a constant state of anxiety so Sunday just feels the same!)

Can I have opinions please, if you have a term asked to isolate as a contact, would you get them to stay completely apart from the family (presuming no one's vulnerable)?

The NHS advice for close contacts says
try to avoid contact with anyone you live with as much as possible

and I know someone who literally confined her Y10 to his room for 14 days.

My feeling is not to do this. DD tends to stay pretty apart from us anyway and is definitely not a hugger! It would be whether we eat meals (off plates that I will then be washing up etc) together, heather she and her brother sit close if they game together (as he's off too), etc.

Also with all 3 of us being at school together we're all swimming in the same filthy pool anyway.

Suppose I might ask on the Data thread but it's safest and most teen-aware here I think!

*teen asked to isolate!

Thanks for the responses, honestly it’s so helpful having sensible and experienced teachers offering support.

Why are you thinking of leaving? Is it because of the people or the job

Because I’m an NQT I don’t have a permanent contract yet. There was an NQT last year who the school didn’t feel was a good fit for the school. She wasn’t offered a full time contract. I’ve honestly no idea if the school want me next year or if I’ll have to find a new job in September anyway.

I like the school, most of the kids are great. The staff are awesome, obviously there are a few things I’m not impressed with. No keen on behaviour management at the school (it’s all about relationships, which is true but it’s not easy to start at a school that relies on relationships for behaviour).

They have two NQTs this year. I’m struggling with one of my classes. School thinks I’m far too strict. The other NQT is struggling(with quite a number of classes) as she is too soft. Feels like the school is blaming us, but I feel it is simply a case of the kids testing new staff far more than established ones.

I’m also not convinced the SLT fully understand the difficulties of teaching mixed ability classes in science and maths. A lot of my behaviour issues are due to some kids getting bored as they are completing the work so quickly. Whilst 25% are still struggling to understand the basics.

Any support offered by the school seems to involve me prepping shit loads for lessons and pretty much rewriting every lesson from scratch.Frankly I’m struggling with workload and this is going to be a problem. Workload is an issue as they haven’t given me an NQT time timetable (just one hour less than a full time teacher). I feel I can’t bring it up as I might want to stay there next year and in the long term.

Sorry for that massive (and probably quite outing) rant, feels better getting it off my chest.