Temporary broom closet in lieu of staff creating a staffroom

[TheHoneyBadger]

Just in case she got lucky and is in the one school that still goes to the pub.

You obviously got through it honey so I'm going to take that as a sign of hope. I don't even care about whether she gets her degree or not, but she does, so we'll try our best to get something sorted with the uni.

A big part of the problem is that she's suspected ASD, but she flew under the radar until first year at uni. So she's now been on the waiting list for assessment for 2 years, no further forward in an actual assessment happening. She can't access help for the ASD until she has a diagnosis, but is still stuck on the waiting list. CBT made her feel worse last time, because she couldn't communicate her feelings etc and she just cried at them for 5 sessions straight until they said they couldn't help her. It was rubbish!! I'm looking for a private therapist this time, hopefully one that has some experience of asd.

Sounds so tough, MsAwesomeDragon. My ds is second year at Uni (but local so living at home) and has ASD. He found year 10/11 terrible for his mental health but sixth form and Uni has been better. Boys with ASD have it really hard but they are, at least, usually diagnosed. I know it's much more nuanced and therefore difficult for girls. I hope she starts to feel well once you've picked her up.

Oh, and ds refused counselling/therapy even when suicidal in year 10. It was awful but we got through it with lots of physical stuff, instead. Exercise, practical chores. I still think he needs some proper counselling at some point, but not cbt. Clever people can see through it sometimes (or argue against engaging properly, I suppose I mean).

@MsAwesomeDragon I'm another one who had issues with depression while away at uni. My parents sound like you and your dh - my dad focused on the practical side and my mum supported me emotionally. The tag team approach seemed to work out. I hope the GP is helpful and gets her what she needs.

I wrote Lewis Goodall a massive DM last night. Not sure it was exactly what he was wanting because he asked for teacher experiences of disruption and while I did give that, I then gave an account of how the media was complicit in a government cover-up of the crisis in schools.

Felt better for writing it anyway. His tweet saying this was a 'slow burn' story annoyed me. We've known about the issues for ages, my first 'secondary schools are fucked' thread was at the end of October.

Today while some news outlets are reporting the 'collapse' in school attendance, it's just 'oh look, there's a collapse in school attendance linked to children isolating' and NO LINK to the obvious fact that schools are the ideal breeding ground for covid. They must be completely baffled by it all.

CBT feels simplistic and patronising if you're bright ime and a lot of counselling is actually not imo really suitable for the young and I say that as a trained counsellor and someone who saw counsellors when I was young.

Will write more later or feel free to pm if you want a chat. Have to go to hell school now.

Will quickly say maybe don't do too much though?

My initial response was oh aren't those kids lucky that their parents understand mental health and want to take care of them and I compared that with the lack of support I had. Obviously my end of the extreme is not great but it is ultimately the person themselves who has to work through things and come up with their own checks and balances and boundaries and values etc etc that allow them to meet the world.

That sounds very wise honey. Trying to persuade my dd to engage with therapy which is on offer. I wonder what I can do as it obviously has to be her decision. Frustrating because a year ago she was committed to the idea but the waiting list, worsened by Covid of course, has put paid to that.

That's interesting, Honeybadger, and chimes with what my dh thinks (he's undergone a lot of different talking therapies over the years). I'd be interested to know more of your thoughts, though.

I think a specific extra difficulty with people with ASD is that they see through bs easily. If they think the world is screwed, or the environment, or that other people are selfish, or that they are not important in the grand scheme of things, and this knowledge depresses them, it's hard to counsel them to think otherwise, I think. (I realise I have oversimplified the intent of therapy.) Essentially, the thinking patterns of ASD, combined with the modern world, make depression or anxiety a valid state (it seems to me, and, again, an oversimplification).

Very simplistic but one of the useful things I was told when I was young and struggling is that when we're depressed and/or anxious and struggling with life everything can merge into one kind of like a brick wall in front of us.

There's a need to switch from that brick wall view, which is entirely natural, and start seeing what the individual bricks are and just tackling one of those eg. I feel anxious about leaving the house - I'm going to make sure I leave the house once a day even if it's just to walk around the block and I will make sure I go into a shop once a week and buy my own fags/chewing gum/whatever.

Lame example but the important bit is seeing one individual issue rather than focussing on the whole insurmountable mass that life feels like when you're depressed or agoraphobic etc. and accepting that small steps are progress.

At that sort of age I also found writing massively helpful. Just putting your thoughts and fears etc on paper and trying to get to know yourself and the depression/anxiety/agoraphobia better.

Home and a bit worried about staff. Is anyone in touch with her off the boards?

She posted on this thread this am honey!

for those whose dc are struggling with mental health. I suffered with anxiety through my teenage years and it wasn't easy.

Today has been utterly draining Staff are just complaining left, right and centre, winding each other up and then complaining to me because so and so said/did this. Honestly, it's been harder dealing with the adults than it has the kids!

Oh I didn't see that piggy.

Drained here too pumpkin. We had oversensitivity about emails earlier in the week - think everyone is knackered and highly strung. Hope you have a relaxing evening.

Are we getting a new republic staff?

The Department for Education have felt the need to post on one of the school/Covid threads.

Have a read!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4082589-Is-a-change-beginning-to-happen-regarding-schools?msgid=102076114#102076114

Omg. Hope they have read my threads with their slightly less vague titles too.

How fucking dare they? I am in-can-descent.

This is not a website for their lies, gaslighting and propaganda.

But, as I think Chloe pointed out on that thread, how interesting that they're the slightest bit concerned about what we might be saying on here, or sufficiently so that they deem it worth trying to gaslight us.

But also, it's amused me to think that it's been posted on a thread that has now filled up and no one will look at it again!

@CallmeAngelina

But also, it's amused me to think that it's been posted on a thread that has now filled up and no one will look at it again!

Funny how that happened, eh?!

Lol at Gav being AWOL for weeks and then turning up on MN.

Cos spreading DfE lies on MN is the best use of his time right now.

I presume this is the work of their social media ambassadors.

I am very cross at that DofE post. Don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining

Good grief what absolute arses. Do they think we have to shut up and listen just because they plop their view on a thread? are they all men?
This - And staff are not at higher risk than those working in other sectors how can they get away with this shite. Which "other sectors"? Hospitals? The majority of council staff in my area who are all working at home? Those must be some very dangerous houses they live and work in.

Saucery you put that much more succinctly than me