AN/AP teachers what are you providing?

[drspouse]

Massively struggling with my DS who has ADHD and can be very impulsive, he's in Y3 in a PRU.
He's supposed to have a phone call every day from his class teacher, but he's shut down and won't speak to her. He wants to see her guinea pig who comes to school but the teacher says she can't do video calls. He's won't talk to anyone else - wouldn't talk to my mum, rejected a suggestion to talk to his friend from his old school.
We got some worksheets but he can't do some of them and he has such a short attention span. He'll do the reading etc that we normally do at home and he'll play board games too but only 1:1.

Today we let him do what he liked and he got much, much worse, wouldn't go out, talking nonstop like he does when he's anxious.

We have DD at home too, she's 5, and he gets agitated when we do things with her. DH is a keyworker and has a lot of serious calls but I can't really stop them from both exploding when I'm trying to do things with them.

School gave me a five minute explanation of visual timetables and social stories which went over my head but when we tried visual timetables at home before it took us days to get them printed, laminated etc and then both DCs complained the pictures were wrong and that was just for the morning routine! I am trying to work too and I don't have the hours in the day to do that!
What are you providing for your SEND/EHCP pupils? What else can they do for us? I feel like if they could, send us some resources we could make things feel a bit more familiar for him but I have no idea what.
What else can you suggest (that we can actually do!)

The family worker just told us "oh it's hard for everyone" and asked what do we normally do when he has a meltdown... Well he hasn't had one at home for ages!

I wonder if it might be worth emailing the headteachers of DS's and DD's schools? Maybe a shared email explaining that your DH is a keyworker, DD is struggling with having no respite from DS, he is struggling with not being at school and you're struggling with trying to do your job whilst both of them are at home because neither is sufficiently independent to engage with anything. Explain (so DD's headteacher is aware and both schools are receiving the same information) that you had accepted the offer of respite at DS's school but that this was withdrawn because of lack of interest from other parents and that you've been in touch with the LA Inclusion team to ask about hubs but they don't know of any. Suggest that after Easter, you'd be grateful for one or other of your DCs to be looked after at school; either DS because he has an EHCP or DD because her emotional needs are at risk of not being met unless she has some respite from DS and because she has a keyworker parent. Let them know that you'd be happy for DS to be looked after at a school that isn't his own but supported by a rota of familiar PRU staff.

I would hope that putting it in writing to the two headteachers would help each of them to understand the wider context as it is right now and to help find a solution ready for after the break. I'd be tempted to send it to the heads of Inclusion and Children's Services at the same time to reduce the chances of being fobbed off but also to help the LA's understanding of how the withdrawal of the respite sessions may be impacting other families whose children have EHCPs.

Well, in a late move, DS school have said after Easter they will be trying to offer respite again.
We are in a "believe it when we see it" phase (they said this before).
Next week we are both taking AL so we can do more 1:1 time with both of them.
Just need to think up some "holiday at home" ideas.

Hope you get something sorted for after easter.

In case you need it, here is the government guidance for what should be happening for vulnerable children here