Urgent advice needed from teachers! Whats my legal standing?

[SongforSal]

Help!

This may be outing, but I am past the point of caring.

As not to drip feed, this is the background.

My DS13 had childhood absence epilepsy. He has been symptom free for 2yrs, although his consultant in Oxford has warned he may yet get further seizures. Due to having dozens of absences every hour around the clock, he became academically behind, as he was effectively 'unconscious' standing up, ergo missing vital pieces of information.

Whilst at primary we had him assessed in YR6. The educational psychologist issued a report to say he was Dyslexic, and recommended a statement. We have been fighting ever since, and are getting no help.

DS is now in his third year of secondary. Almost on a daily basis he receives a detention-not for anything malicious, but what is deemed as unacceptable behaviour, talking, answering back etc. He gets a talking to at home to. However, sometimes the detentions are for reasons which I can't fathom, an example being a couple of weeks ago during a 2hr lesson, he urgently needed the toilet. The school has recently changed it's policy that children can not be excused for toilet breaks, they must go in between lessons. He told me he thought he was going to have an accident after trying to hold it in, and literally had to run out of the classroom. This resulted in an after school detention.

Moving onto this week, he has received another after school detention for talking and not concentrating in class (he finds it difficult to keep up with writing due to his dyslexia). I contacted the school to say he could not have an after school detention that evening, as his Dad was working away, and I was also 20miles away at work and would not be able to collect him in time (we live in a village location and he relies on the school bus). The deputy head told me if he failed to turn up to the after-school detention, he would received a 'Head' detention this Friday. When I explained it was impossible for me to collect him, I was advised if he failed to attend that, they would exclude him!

I am at a loss! Can a school exclude a child because I cant psychically collect him? All I need is a little notice for an after school detention, and I can arrange something, but this is too short notice. Does anyone know what our rights are?

Didn’t you sign a contract when he joined school that said you accepted their discipline policy?
It isn’t “deemed” unacceptable. It is unacceptable for kids to be chatting and distracting others. It’s also usual for them to be warned before a detention is issued. It is rude to be answering back.
He is getting detentions daily? He needs more than a talking to and you need to support the school.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-exclusion

I don't know the legal implications but this is really unfair!

When was the last time you met with the sendco?
What stage of paperwork are you at with regards to his send?
What assessments have the school organised?

Nope. Not unfair.
Child misbehaves.
Child receives warning.
Child continues to misbehave.
Detention is set according to the school’s policy.
Child doesn’t do detention? It moves onto the next consequence.
We live rurally and it’s a PITA if a child gets a detention and you have to pick them up. But we knew the policy when my eldest joined the school. So far he’s had one after school in over 4 years.

Is it theocal authority that has refused to assess for and EHCP or is it the school refusing to apply on his behalf?
As a parent, you are entitled to apply directly yourself to the local authority. Although you will need a paperwork trail of interventions etc that the school have tried and show they have not worked.

It sounds like there are numerous issues here.

Him talking in lesson and disrupting others is definitely not acceptable.

However, his absence is different. I would ask for a meeting with the Head to go through everything

School don’t have to ask your permission to keep them for a detention; they just have to tell you they are doing it.

At what point in my OP did you read I was not supporting the school? And no, I did not sign a contract. In addition, the discipline policy has apparently recently changed.

To flip this around, the school has an inclusion policy with regards to special needs, yet he is not getting the extra help he needs, to the point at the last parents evening a teacher was annoyed with him that he refused to read an extract from Shakespeare out loud and gave him a detention. When I told her he is dyslexic and struggles massively with public reading, she said it was news to her and 'was I really sure he was'!

Thanks for the massively unhelpful reply though wolfie

He is getting daily detentions. You are refusing to let him sit them as it’s not convenient for you. That’s not supportive.
It isn’t because of his history of epilepsy that he answers back and chats in class. Many dyslexic pupils also manage to avoid doing this.
Stop making excuses for him.

cece the last senco meeting was the last week of term before school broke for the holidays. Ironically he was fabulous and understanding, but did not return to the school in Sept!

I do need an urgent meeting with the school. My concern is my Ds feels ANYTHING he does or says is wrong, and seems to be getting more miserable. Tonight for example he was crying in his room over it all. This isn't like him.

You wouldn't get an EHCP for dyslexia where I work. We have lots of pupils with this diagnosis and we differentiate and support them. We don't need an EHCP for this. TBH I don't think dyslexia is a reason for disrupting others, poor behaviour etc.

If he gets a detention he has to do it, otherwise what's the point of school giving it if the parent is allowed to say "he can't do it."

Being dyslexic doesn't mean he can behave badly. He is clearly not doing what he is told and knows mum will try and get him out of detention.

Book him a taxi and he has to do the detention. Its not the schools problem you can't get him.

wolfie With all due respect. Stop being a twatt and creating your own narrative to come to an inaccurate conclusion. I fully support the school, and they know that. He has break and lunchtime detentions along with half of his class. He has had 2 afterschool detentions thus far which I have been able to pick him up from. On this occasion, this week, it is neigh on impossible for e to collect. I have offered an alternate night next week. My issue is threatening exclusion because I can not get him with such short notice.

In addition, I find your post incredibly insulting if you do not know the effects of absence seizures, nor can comprehend how a teenager being asked to stand and read an extract in-front of their peers that they psychically can not read. It was humiliating for him. To give him a detention because of that is demoralising.

Another option is to ask if he can stay at school until you can collect him after the detention.

OP have the school actually got a copy of the EP report? If so, could you ask for a meeting either with the SENCo or form tutor and then ask a representative from your local SEN advisory service? Details of this should be on the local offer.

What has his academic progress been like since starting at the school?

You didn’t say that’s why he had a detention. You said it was mentioned at a parent evening.
He is getting daily detentions. That’s not normal or acceptable. It’s not being a “twatt” (sic) to point that out.
You also said he hadn’t had an absence seizure for two years.
I suspect it wasn’t his discomfort at being asked to read that got him a detention but his rude reply.
He needs to change his behaviour and you need to change your approach.

If the majority of responses here are from teachers I despair.
Op it sounds like a terrible situation can you get him assessed privately? Not sure if that helps but it sounds like his seizures and consequences are minimised and misunderstood by the school.

Whilst it's understandable that dyslexic kids feel under pressure and it can lead to poor behaviour, it's not an excuse.

The condition isn't their fault, but their reaction to it and subsequent behaviour is their responsibility.

Work needs differentiation etc but if your son is rude and disruptive that's a far bigger issue tbh. He won't learn a thing with an attitude problem, it becomes another barrier in his way.

I can tell you are desperate for him to succeed. For this to happen, you may well need a two pronged attack. Firstly, you need a diagnosis. He likely won't get an ECHP for dyslexia. Work with SEN to try and get guidance and help for him.

But he has to accept the help, and guidance and lose his shitty attitude and take some responsibility for his behaviour.

School should try to meet you in the middle about this week's detention but tbh he sounds like he's being a thorough pain, and that's the first thing you need to tackle.

Actually.... there often is a link between dyslexia and poor behaviour in lessons , especially when the dyslexia goes undiagnosed, unsupported or unaccommodated... work avoidance, attempting to get out of a classroom through whichever method, lack of attention, frustration etc

I am sure there was something on the press about this this week.

Dyslexia, sadly, is often not very well catered for in schools ,as schools are often dealing with 'bigger' SEN issues and may not have dyslexia specialists.

OP, your DS does need sanctions for behaviour but also you urgently need to catch up with SENCo and pastoral team (especially given the crying)

The head's detention may not be such an awful thing and sometimes draws attention to stduents who are struggling.

Good Luck , OP. Hope your DS can turn it round.

Absolutely there's a link to the behaviour. Which is why conversation with senco is vital.

Once that's established then it's an attitude thing. Sometimes that's so ingrained it's hard to break them into a positive mindset and that they CAN do it

looks Thankyou. Yes, they claim to have a copy. For clarity he is severely dyslexic, to the point he writes upside down and back to front. The school have mentioned in the past he is eligible to work on a tablet during lessons as watching him even write his name is laborious. His reading has massively improved over the summer, but I think that was down to me and him reading articles on the internet that interest him so it didn't feel like a chore (I am, and have tried EVERYTHING to engage and encourage reading and writing).

WOLFIE Please stop being mean. He response to trying to read out loud was to run out of the class in embarrassment!!!!!!!!! NOT for any rude reply. Please stop trying to turn my OP into something it isn't.

For the record, he received the detention in a Drama class for turning the light on whilst the credits rolled after watching a short on the TV. This was after he and a peer were whispering and being told they were not paying attention. Yes, I agree he needs to LISTEN to instructions from his teacher. I am not disputing that. As per my OP, if he can not do the detention this week for reasons out of my control. Surely they can't punish him with exclusion when I have asked if it can be next week?

Actually.... there often is a link between dyslexia and poor behaviour in lessons , especially when the dyslexia goes undiagnosed, unsupported or unaccommodated... work avoidance, attempting to get out of a classroom through whichever method, lack of attention, frustration etc

This.

There also seems to be a misconception that dyslexia only affects reading and writing which isn’t always the case. In DPs case it affects processing and short term memory too as well as attention span.

None of which sound like they’re being taken into account and reasonable adjustments made.

We have a large number of pupils with dyslexia in our school. 99% of them show no issues with behaviour, but we work hard to support and differentiate work for these pupils. Ask school how they are supporting his dyslexia.

Why is he controlling the lights? That's not his place.

Why can he not get a taxi?