Urgent advice needed from teachers! Whats my legal standing?

[SongforSal]

Help!

This may be outing, but I am past the point of caring.

As not to drip feed, this is the background.

My DS13 had childhood absence epilepsy. He has been symptom free for 2yrs, although his consultant in Oxford has warned he may yet get further seizures. Due to having dozens of absences every hour around the clock, he became academically behind, as he was effectively 'unconscious' standing up, ergo missing vital pieces of information.

Whilst at primary we had him assessed in YR6. The educational psychologist issued a report to say he was Dyslexic, and recommended a statement. We have been fighting ever since, and are getting no help.

DS is now in his third year of secondary. Almost on a daily basis he receives a detention-not for anything malicious, but what is deemed as unacceptable behaviour, talking, answering back etc. He gets a talking to at home to. However, sometimes the detentions are for reasons which I can't fathom, an example being a couple of weeks ago during a 2hr lesson, he urgently needed the toilet. The school has recently changed it's policy that children can not be excused for toilet breaks, they must go in between lessons. He told me he thought he was going to have an accident after trying to hold it in, and literally had to run out of the classroom. This resulted in an after school detention.

Moving onto this week, he has received another after school detention for talking and not concentrating in class (he finds it difficult to keep up with writing due to his dyslexia). I contacted the school to say he could not have an after school detention that evening, as his Dad was working away, and I was also 20miles away at work and would not be able to collect him in time (we live in a village location and he relies on the school bus). The deputy head told me if he failed to turn up to the after-school detention, he would received a 'Head' detention this Friday. When I explained it was impossible for me to collect him, I was advised if he failed to attend that, they would exclude him!

I am at a loss! Can a school exclude a child because I cant psychically collect him? All I need is a little notice for an after school detention, and I can arrange something, but this is too short notice. Does anyone know what our rights are?

It’s probably stopped being helpful for the OP at this point but wolfie you must know those options are far fetched at best and some of them ludicrous. My teen dd would walk to a cafe in the dark and sit there for three hours waiting for me over my dead body, I’m sorry. And I am a very supportive parent who values education.

I actually think you just take the most obtuse view possible for the sake of it.

The above point is EXACTLY what Wolfie does. A lot.

I’m fucking stupid but I’m harrassing people?
So your kids never go out in the dark?
So glad with parents and staff like you I’m no longer teaching.
There are solutions that don’t mean you expect a teacher to treat your child like a special snowflake. But hey. Let’s just make that teacher’s life just a tiny bit more difficult. And if all parents were like that? Wonder why teachers leave?

Alone for hours? No.

Are you really suggesting teachers leave because of a polite request to change a detention to another date? What is wrong with you?

An hour or two? Really?
And parents insisting their child needs different treatment so as not to inconvenience themselves? That’s not a PITA?
Anyhow thankfully it’s no longer my problem. And my kids manage not to get detentions on the whole.

You need help wolfie

Don’t infer my children get numerous detentions. They don’t.

However if they did, I would need to pick them up. You can’t just say it isn’t convenient for you - you are the one setting it and you are an adult.

It’s all becoming quite circular but I am really shocked at your posts wolfie

Shocked! What’s shocking is the way parents seem to think the school should bend over backwards to avoid them being inconvenienced because their kids misbehave enough to get detention.
I’m fine. Just glad none of these children or parents are my problem anymore.
Bye all.

It isn’t normal or healthy wolfie

Really, it isn’t. I know loads of teachers and I can’t think of one who would react in such an extreme way to a polite request to a detention being changed.

I despair at MN sometimes and teacher threads and the way they go to peoples agendas rather than the OP.

The OP has said once that she needs it rearranged. No secondary school I've ever come across in RL has ever refused this as they usually sensible and concerned about welfare if pupils.

Also there weren't excuses. OP has clearly stated her has many struggles and punishment isn't working, highlighted some areas where punishment has been given because teachers didn't even know he has send and questioned if they should be doing more to solve the route cause if the behaviour.

It's not uncommon for kids who feel they can do no right to give up trying and the negative spiral begins.

My ds was always good at science. He had 1 teacher who despised him for all the reasons he has a dx if autism and CP. openly admitted it. Eventually after moving teachers his predicted grade went up by 3 and he's in too set and second top scorer in all assessments in class.

Being too quick to blame parents and child when it's likely a combination of things isn't helpful to anyone and is part of the reason MH crisis in teens is so high. Because now it's zero tolerance if our up and shut up regardless of any factors.

And actually a lot of dyslexic students talk because they then cover up for their writing difficulties or get the answers from friends and no one knows they couldn't understand.

honeyskye

Here is a slightly different anecdote to your story.

I did what you did changed the day of the detention for a sporty child.

After all we are not there to punish but to educate.

But when the child came back in to my lesson they were even worse, so I put them in to another detention.

The child came in with the same "I have a match to go to", this time I said "no".

I had visits from the PE department and phonecalls from the parents who escalated it to to the head. After I had explained what had happened the head backed me.

The child did the detention and you know what I have no issues with any member of any of the schools sports teams.

So the lets negotiate doesn't always work.

Mamagin
I've always thought that teachers should spend a few years in the real world.

Anyone that says this should FOTFTFOSM.

Well thank god wolfie has pissed off. I've never been great engaging with stupidity like that. Thanks to those who held your own.

youarenotkiddingme I love you a little bit after that post.

This school sounds like a Military Academy. Detention for forgetting your logo-embossed socks? For turning the lights on after a video?

WTAF is wrong with the people setting the discipline program here?

In my class a kid who messes with lights/chairs/whatever gets a sharp "Thank you Tommy, but I'd appreciate you letting me do that". Detention for running to your locker?

That actually sounds like a breeding ground for psychosis rather than a school, even for non-SEN kids.

😊