Teaching and mum - how the f***?

[BananaBlaps]

How do people make it work?
Currently have a 16 month old and am pregnant.
Currently work 0.6 at the school I was at before mat leave.
1 hrs commute to central London so I can’t do drop offs. My husband starts work at 7. Also can’t do drop offs.
So cos of this currently my mum looks after DC when I’m at work.

But that childcare situation is pretty shit and can’t can’t continue once the new baby is here. I’ll leave current job and try and find a local PT job I guess after my mat leave / 2nd baby is old enough - but there is sod all PT available atm so not full of hope.

Working PT is pretty crap as a teacher anyway.

How the hell do people manage nursery pick up and drop offs with teaching?

With my husband’s hours he could do neither pick up or drop off. I don’t think it’s possible for me to do both without my school being 5 mins from nursery.

Feel like my career is over, I have no choice over what work I could get and that the whole thing is pretty shit for me.

Any advice?

Yes of course I’m lucky that my mum can help for now. That’s not what this is about. No, I can’t drop 2 kids off at hers at 6.30 every day and expect my mother to take them to nursery. It’s too early and frankly she is too elderly. The reason I wrote this thread is that the situation with my mum can’t continue.

I could say to you that you’re lucky you can work for free and survive off your husband’s wages. That’s not an option for us. But I wouldn’t say that as your situation sounds hard too.

Sorry if I sound grumpy. I’ve been up since 3 and if you’re going to respond to a thread then you may as well read it!

Thanks to everyone for posting. I think I know what to do now and will be looking for a job nearer home. I’ll try to leave this thread now.

Bananablaps I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so rude. I've also been up since stupid o'clock this morning and was grumpy. I really hope you can find something that works for your family. Being a teacher and a mum is really hard!

It really is - But it’s the early starts that’s the huge problem! Hope you get some rest today -

When ours were little (they're now 6 and 9) and I was teaching I would get up at 6.30 with the baby and give them breakfast then hand over to DH when I left at 7.15. DH would then wake the elder one and take them to nursery which is about 12 minutes' walk from home with a pushchair and toddler. Then he'd go to work. Our part-time 'housekeeper' would collect them at 3pm, bring them home and put them down for naps/play with them until I got home at 6.15pm. Hk worked until 7pm and would prepare our dinner or do some hoovering/changing beds/tidying (like putting away laundry that we'd washed and hung out to dry). DH would get home from work at 8.15pm and we'd have dinner then put down the LOs together, and I'd crack on with planning and marking.

That suited us financially and we were really lucky to have the same HK for years and she adapted to us (and slightly changed her hours).

Nowadays I get up at 6ish, go for a short run, shower, go off to work at 7.15, and DH gets up the DC at 7.45/8, gives them breakfast, brings them to school on the bus at 8.45, (they attend my school but don't have to be in until much later than me) then he goes to work. HK picks up DC at 4.30 and takes them to after school activities Monday to Thursday, gives them a snack and/or supervises homework/play/reading. I get home at 6.15 unless parents' evening, theatre trip or similar. DH gets home at 8.15 and we eat dinner together.

On Fridays the DCs get to run wild in the playground with their friends until about 5.20 then I take them home (no HK on Fridays).

HK also does a couple of hours' cleaning for us in the week when the house is empty.

It is particularly hard due to the combo of early starts, inflexibility and not getting paid enough to afford a nanny. I mean, a friend of mine is an NHS consultant and she will be paying pretty much her entire salary after tax for the nanny she will require to go back to work 4 days a week. But she is paid a lot more than a teacher in a similar position.

I have recently moved from FT to 0.5 in order to manage to share childcare more equally with my DH (we are both highly specialised and have long commutes) but the 8.40 registrations are still a problem. Fortunately my school are v v reasonable and aren't making me do them on the days DH isn't available.

If your DH genuinely works for a unique organisation and is valued there then I really do think he is going to have to take some of the hit on this one. It is better that you are both making some changes and compromises and both earning. For one thing, it always seems to be easier to get a job when you're in a job. He must understand that you are having DC rather close together. Did he not expect a bit of stress/changes?! Would the pay he loses for the anti social hours really be more than your entire salary?

My husband’s really not the bad guy in this. He’s completely open to talking to his employers. We’d lose a few k from his salary. It’s annoying that both our jobs are long hours and very early starts with long commutes. With not great salaries! So we’re a bit screwed really.

But realistically I need a more local job if I’m to do any of the pick up / drop offs and do a semi decent job at work. I can’t expect DH to do them all and I would struggle to leave work at 4.30 for a 5.30 pick up due to meetings etc etc Not to mention that I don’t like (ie hate) my current school anyway. Or enjoy wasting 2 hours a day commuting.

So I guess we’ll lose money - I’ll lose my inner London weighting and he’ll lose his shit hours bonus. Shit happens.

So that’s my conclusion...I’m gonna take my mat leave and then do supply whilst looking for a local job. My amazing DH will talk to his employers when he knows what’s what and what we need.