Teaching and mum - how the f***?

[BananaBlaps]

How do people make it work?
Currently have a 16 month old and am pregnant.
Currently work 0.6 at the school I was at before mat leave.
1 hrs commute to central London so I can’t do drop offs. My husband starts work at 7. Also can’t do drop offs.
So cos of this currently my mum looks after DC when I’m at work.

But that childcare situation is pretty shit and can’t can’t continue once the new baby is here. I’ll leave current job and try and find a local PT job I guess after my mat leave / 2nd baby is old enough - but there is sod all PT available atm so not full of hope.

Working PT is pretty crap as a teacher anyway.

How the hell do people manage nursery pick up and drop offs with teaching?

With my husband’s hours he could do neither pick up or drop off. I don’t think it’s possible for me to do both without my school being 5 mins from nursery.

Feel like my career is over, I have no choice over what work I could get and that the whole thing is pretty shit for me.

Any advice?

[HMC2000]

sluj I think it's probably best to address the question to the OP - I was only restating what she had already said. I think that the crux is that teaching is one of those jobs that has an early start, and very few childcare settings are open early enough, once you factor in commuting time. So yes, it does apply to other jobs with early start times. I have not had this issue as when my DC was young I had a 9am start, with an 8.30 drop off at childminder. Now I work from 8.30, but still don't need to start commute until 8. BananaBlaps has said her commute starts at 7, and presumably she can't find a nursery or cm that opens before then. I don't think she is trying to say that teachers have it harder than everyone else - she's asking for advice from others working similar hours.

[xyzandabc]

There is no magic solution, as every other working parent will sympathise with.

Something has to change, the choices are either change your childcare or change your jobs.

A nursery close to your work? A nanny? A childminders close to your work? Your DH changes his hours to start later, and you find a nursery close to his work? Your DH changes his hours a lot on your work days and still does the current nursery drop?
One or both of you find a more local job?
DH condenses hour to 5 days over 4 so leaves you less days to find childcare for?
A local childminder that will take them very early as it's only 3 days term time, you can only ask.

In terms of career lengths, remember this is only for a very short time. But if you do both want to keep working similar hours, bear wrap around childcare in mind when it comes to choosing schools. No good getting a brilliant school if there is no provision for before/after-school care be that school clubs or childminders with vacancies.

[sluj]

I think the title of the post might he misleading then as it seems to imply that being a teacher and being a mum is "difficult"

Teaching and mum - how the f*?

I just don't get what the relevance of the job is

[BangingOn]

What’s stopping you going full time? Your children will only be in full time childcare during term time and you might find the balance works well for you that way.

There were lots of teachers amongst the parents at DS’s nursery, most of them had chosen the nursery as it was close to the school they taught at rather than close to home. The nursery offered term time only places which meant they weren’t paying during the school holidays.

[MsJaneAusten]

We have a nanny who works from 7am to 9.15am - basically just drop offs. If you can make it a 16 hour a week job and allow the nanny to bring their own child with them then you might find it’s a pretty attractive job as they’ll be entitled to working tax credits and not have to pay for their own childcare (this is what my last nanny did)

It’s also supremely helpful if the dc get sick so that you don’t need to take too much time off work (nannies will look after sick kids in a way that nurseries and childminders can’t)

[MsJaneAusten]

I just don't get what the relevance of the job is

Um, it’s posted in the Staffroom. The OP is basically asking her colleagues for advice.

[converseandjeans]

It's a nightmare. My 0.6 has always been spread about the week too & with different days/times each week. We have in laws who would do a couple of school runs once they started school. But DH used to leave work at the crack of dawn and I had 7 years of being the one to get them both up and out. DS was either with MIL, childminder, state nursery for couple of years so I used to have to think ahead and pack various things every day. I was quite stressed but have come out the other side now.
I think your only option would be a nanny - the children could then stay in bed - or at least be in PJs.
Could DH ask for one morning later start - in laws - parents??
This is why I get fed up of people moaning about the school summer hols. We have 39 weeks of juggling :(

[IHeartKingThistle]

Oh sluj FFS. Being a mum and a teacher IS hard. That doesn't mean that nothing else is.

With the best will in the world, please fuck off out of the staffroom.

[KappaKappa]

sluj
It’s the staffroom!! If you’re not a teacher and have no useful contribution to OP why don’t you leave this thread and take your goadiness elsewhere

[converseandjeans]

sluj it's the fact that teachers need to be in school by 8/8.30 and if you have a commute like OP then there won't be many places where she can drop her DC. Lots of jobs don't start til 9/9.30 thus making it easier to juggle being a parent and an employee.
There are also evening things that need a lot of juggling - trip meetings, parents evenings and such the like.
Nobody is claiming it is the hardest job in the world, but you can't be in two places at once.

[KappaKappa]

I’m often in school from 7.45am until 5pm and I’d struggle with childcare if I had a long commute. It’s a tough job because it’s often unpredictable hours, especially if you’re senior staff.
Hope you find a way to work it out OP and ignore the goady posters with their uninformed opinions!

[KappaKappa]

through those long holidays

[Mistressiggi]

It's really, teaching+Parenthood+commute that is the problem here.
Or maybe in the dh's case (as let's never forget their role!) it's early start+parenthood.

[BananaBlaps]

Thanks (almost) everyone!

Yeah it’s early starts and long commutes from both parents. I know no one else in this situation - which is why I am posting in this forum!! As the majority of teachers have early starts. The latest I have ever got to work is 8. I used to be there by 7.15.

Anyway, I’ve got some clarity from this thread.

I need to look for a local job - and it sounds like if I want PT I need to approach schools directly.

And my DH if possible could help with drop offs on my days at work by agreeing something with his work. Unlikely though.

I could cope with a 7.30 drop off if I could then get to work very quickly.

But if that fails I guess time to look for a nanny or child minder. But unless they start at 6.30 I’d have to leave current job anyway.

So basically leaving current job is the right thing although scary to have nothing to go back to.

[tomhazard]

Sorry op I didn't realise you had to have childcare from 6.30am.
I have a friend who works 0.9 and managed to talk our head into letting her start period 2 most days about 10am. This helped her a lot and wasn't such a huge paycut. Could you look into spreading your 0.6 over more days ?

[Unicorndiscoball]

It’s really hard. In my previous job I had a 40 minute commute, and DH has a stupid job with shift work meaning that Logistically it was a nightmare as the earliest I could drop DS was 7.30, but I had a staff meeting at 8am. I ended up getting a job in a private school with a nursery attached, so Ds went to school with me and is still there now. That however has its own separate challenges! I would definitely try and get a job closer to home for all sorts of reasons. I currently have a big commute and I hate it.

[BananaBlaps]

Sorry guys - I should’ve said I’m primary. At the moment I’m over 3 days. My dream would be a literacy / maths role from 9-12/1 for 5 days a week so I could actually have my own class again all the time. You never know!!

[twolittleboysonetiredmum]

I recently went from 0.6 to full time primary and have found it has made my job sooooo much easier and pleasant! It is worth considering for a job closer to home. 2 of my 3 children also come to my school so that also helps a lot as I can still get in early.
I would be very wary of giving up work entirely unless you want to be a SAHM for a while anyway. It reads like your job taking the hit/you making the changes whilst your DH job can’t be touched or affected. Which as another poster has said, does not need to be the case as your job is as important.

[tomhazard]

I think having your DC at your school in future is an excellent idea. I work at a private school and still can't afford it for two with the discount (!) but teachers who do send their DC their have a much easier childcare scenario!

[NoNarnas]

I have a 50 minute commute and work 0.6. My childminder starts at 7am and is enroute to work. I leave home at 6:45, drop off by 7:10 and get to work for 7:45 ish. Some days i leave later and get to work around 8am. We have to be in by 8:15.

I finish teaching at 3:30 and pick him up at 4pm. I then work 7-11pm once he is in bed.

On the occasional parents eve/twilight my childminder is happy to keep until early evening if needed.

I would approach some childminders and ask about how flexible they could be.

[BananaBlaps]

twolittleboys - it’s tricky with my DH’s job as he works for an organisation based in central London who are unique really. So he can’t just get a job elsewhere like I theoretically can. And he gets paid a few extra k each year because of the antisocial hours. So if he altered that through a flexible working arrangement we’d lose money. But I get what you mean - I guess part of my frustration is that it does feel like I’m making all the sacrifices.


banging I think I would like to go FT again but when my DC is older. And I mentioned in my op that I’m pregnant at the moment....

I think being pregnant and also not knowing where my future job is going to be makes this all so hard. How do I plan childcare when I don’t know where I’ll be working! The waiting lists for nurseries are 12+ months here. One on the way to work would be ideal - but I don’t know where I’ll be working!!! 😫

Unfortunately there are no local term time only nurseries. Well one but it was awful. A term time only childminder would be possible I think.

But I know I definitely need to quit my current role after mat leave (won’t get the enhanced pay but never mind). Hopefully something local will crop up and then maybe I can just do drop offs like normal people!

Thanks so so much to everyone for sharing how you make it work. It’s helped me to see the possibilities and also that the reason current situation doesn’t work is that it is not possible!!! Thankfully I don’t love my current school and will be glad to leave!

[toomuchicecream]

If you're west of London, come and work for us!! The recruitment crisis is such an issue in our area we are genuinely pleased to be able to appoint someone with a pulse and a teaching qualification who turns up to work each day before the children come in... In the south east I really wouldn't worry about finding another job!

[Icantbelieve]

Nursery close to school. There will be one. To be honest it’s easy when they are in Nursery. It’s hard when they start school as you have little or no choice about where they go.

If all else fails. Quit and do tutoring. Depending on your subject you could do v well out of it. Plus a few grand from exam marking in the summer.

[Foxsox]

I couldn't find this responce anywhere else could have missed it
Nurseries that are attached to hospitals are often open super early
That could be a route to investigate
My friend can drop off from 6.30am

I am the drop off/pick up parent as DH has a long commute.
Our solution was the nursery right next to school, but to find that and get a place was lucky.
I hope you have found a feasible solution, it's really tough to begin with.
X

[BananaBlaps]

toomuchicecream your post made me laugh. Thank you. I’m in very outer west London! I’m hoping the recruitment crisis is terrible here! But from what we’re all saying it sounds like you’d need to be within 5 miles of my house!

fox that’s a great idea! I had looked into it but our hospital is in opposite direction of job. However worth considering for when I get new job!

Plan is:

• quit job after mat leave
  
• look at tutoring to help with need to have money to survive problem!
  
• get first child into local nursery we like and can afford (can’t consider location as have no job!)
  
• find local job after having DC2. Change nursery if at all possible / somehow get DH job to allow drop offs.