I spend more time with other people's kids than my own

[user71017]

That's just fundamentally wrong.

I took dd2 (3) to a party yesterday and was so upset because I didn't know a single other mum. Why? Because I've never been able to take my youngest to preschool.

Dd1 (7) had her first netball match on Friday. She was the only team member not to have mummy watching.

I know the parents of the kids in my class more than the parents of my friends kids. I see the kids in my class more than I see my own.

This is all with being part time but being screwed over with working 3.5 days over 5.

Oops, just realised this is 'staffroom'. Apologies, it came up on active feed and I thought was in chat.

I think the thing about teaching (and I'm walking away at the end of this year as I'm so fucking sick of moaning about my job!) is that during term time it really does take over your life.

You spend vast majority of the working day only actually doing a relatively small part of your role. And trying to keep on top of 30 odd kids for 6 hours a day every day is exhausting. Then 3:15pm comes and you have to start thinking about starting your 'other' role, paperwork, marking, phone calls, clubs, meetings, planning blah blah blah, having already done a really tiring job for 6 hours. And then when you get home you put the kids to bed, open up the laptop and carry on. And at the weekend you are either working or thinking about all the things you need to do before Monday. And even in the holidays you are either working or in denial about the enormous amount of work that you put off to do until the holidays when you would have 'more time'.

And the final kick in the teeth is that people outside of education genuinely think your job is easy. At least with jobs like doctors, lawyers, even social workers, people have a smidgeon of respect for those who do the job and understand that it's really stressful. If I ever tell my friends that I have work to do at the weekend, I get sort of wide eyes puzzlement as that what the last could possibly be, because people genuinely don't have the first clue about what teaching involves. But people (including people in government it seems) seem to think that because they once went to school they know what's involved, and what's more they are super keen to tell you how easy your job is.

I am not saying that teaching is the hardest job in the world. But it may well be the most misunderstood.

I must add that I do understand that the holidays are a huge perk as you don't pay childcare. If I didn't have children I would have left years ago to take a job with 5 weeks holiday a year.

But those holidays are a trade off for the ridiculous hours worked during term time.

The difference is, that the difficulties teachers face are seen by many as something they should suck up and be grateful for because they have the holidays. The difficulties other professions face are legitimate issues which can form the starting point for a societal discussion about family-friendly work practices.

Ahhh wise ones help.
Just come across a 2 day (two actual days) job share a school 3miles away. Deadline is midnight tomorrow. Shall I give it a whirl or just let teaching die a death? #wishihadntseenthead

Go and visit the school quick before you decide.

Tell your school about it too. Maybe they would negotiate your hours to stop you leaving.

Stick an application in anyway - at least that will give you thinking time. You can always pull out if you decide against the job later

“But those holidays are a trade off for the ridiculous hours worked during term time.”

I think a decision needs to me made though - either teachers work ridiculous hours in tern time since they get long holidays therefore it is a full time job with a better wage than they get currently, or teachers work 8-5 term time and a couple of days in the holidays and it’s a part-time wage similar to what they currently get.

The current situation where they do buckets of unpaid overtime is massively unfair and bound to piss anyone off.

“OP, sorry to be blunt but it's called 'work'. Every full time working parent is exactly the same except in most people's cases they see more of their colleagues than their children.”

I think the difference is that most people with a very stressful job get paid for all their hours whereas teachers to unpaid overtime.

user71017. Apply. If you don’t find it any better then you can always leave.

When is the start date? What is your contract like and when can you leave? I know I would not be allowed to leave now until Easter.

“Just come across a 2 day (two actual days) job share a school 3miles away. Deadline is midnight tomorrow. Shall I give it a whirl or just let teaching die a death? “

That sounds like an excellent opportunity OP, good luck!!

I'm up at 5 and home at 6, I get to see my youngest dd briefly during the day as she attends the school I work in,

It's rubbish but I have every weekend off and can spend a lot of time in school holidays at home.

Considering you lot have it so hard, how come you are so anti women who choose to work from home/are stay at home mothers when finances allow?

“Considering you lot have it so hard, how come you are so anti women who choose to work from home/are stay at home mothers when finances allow?”

Poor effort Lady, 0/10.

Haha! ALL teachers hate ALL sahms?
That makes no sense so can’t get het up about it!

You are getting a lot of tough love here. It is those first nativities and netball matches that are the hardest, but I was the child of two teachers and despite not loving having a child minder, my parents made summer holidays magical, we went to Europe for a month just travelling around, my mum was always the first to pick up from childminder, from a child's perspective it isn't all that bad.

The thing with teaching is that you can't just leave it at work. My DH works 55-60 hours a week. He gets up at 4am but is home by 4pm. Once home, and at weekends, his time is his own. All he has to do in a day is get the job done. No responsibility beyond that. If he can't physically do it, he doesn't have to. He gets £32k per year for a job that doesn't even need a degree.

It doesn't mess with his mind, he isn't told he's rubbish even if he meets all his targets, he is trusted to get on with it on his own without constant scrutiny, and he is appreciated. Due to the laws around his job, he can also just go home after a certain number of hours - no one can make him stay longer. There is even some decent management at the top, so if you get a power crazy manager, someone notices and does something about it!!

Teaching suited me as a single parent because I could have the holidays with my children. Yes, it was hard and stressful and I worked long into the night (or preferably got up really early and worked 3:30 am - 6:30 am), and at weekends, but it worked for me.
My friend who worked in a bank (also a SP) saw relatively less of her children, who were the same age as mine and who spent most of the summer holidays with us.

A chat with rl teacher friends and 3 others are all waving goodbye to teaching. All different schools. There is something fundamentally flawed with the profession.

Our department is losing its last two part-timers at Christmas (myself included).

The demographics of the teaching staff in the school have changed beyond recognition in the 13 years since I started. Gone are the days when the staff room was full of experienced silver-haired post menopausal women (and men - but not the menopause bit) on 0.5 contracts who still completed student reports in handwriting as it was quicker for them that's using a computer.

Now the staff room is full of bright and enthusiastic twenty-something DINKYs with YouTube channels and department Twitter feeds who leave the school and the English state system after three years to go and teach in a private school in Qatar.

Is the school a better place for it? I seriously doubt it, but only time will tell. I'm guessing it's a similar pattern everywhere.

Swirling, my mother was a teacher and I felt exactly the same. We don't have much of a relationship now and certainly, feeling that I was so far down her list of priorities did not help. Xx

My mum was a teacher too, Swirling. She died when I was 15 and I have few memories of her. All I can remember is that she was physically there for us, but literally just that. She was kind and calm and loving but sort of somewhere else all the time. I always felt like she was closer to her school children than us. And when she died I really resented the fact that it said "loving teacher" on her grave. In my head the teacher bit was put before mother, but I'm not sure whether that was actually true or not. This weird detachment from her has never made any sense to me. What you've written has helped me understand why all that might have been, a bit more.

Oh, icecream, I am so sorry. It's so incredibly sad to read your story. I hope you are ok and happy in your life now.

Scissormister, I am sorry you don't have a good relationship with your mum. My mum is retired and I still feel low down her list of priorities. She has taken on loads of voluntary work, most with children, is constantly too busy to see us and will let her grandchildren down rather than let down the church hymn book Rota organiser.