This thread has made me laugh. I teach reception - I'll tell you what my reception can do at the minute:
I have 30 children.
About 1/2 can listen to a 15 minute story (all singing, all dancing, dramatic, over enthusiastic type). The rest put their hand up to tell you - mid sentence - that they're going to grandma's house, need a wee, have head lice (or other random fact). Don't be fooled by the fact they put up their hand - it means nothing!!
They love 'morning work'. I split them into 5 groups and they carousel around 'special' activities (these are things which they need to get better at and I use things like gel pens and glitter to bribe (encourage) them). This happens before the register.
They ask a million times if it's lunchtime yet (between 9.10am and lunch time). Then if it's home time yet (all afternoon).
They don't have as many accidents as they did (probably between 5-10 per class over the week). Not as many poos. Most can wipe their own bottoms. Yey!!
They LOVE learning about themselves. They're egocentric little people - substitute their names in stories, number problems etc and they'll think it's great.
About 1/3 can write sentences all by themselves. Another 1/3 can write CVC words, the rest mostly write some letter sounds - 2 are unable to form any letters. 4 can't yet write their names (but will mark make and try).
We can sit through a short assembly (15 mins).
We like our visual timetable (about 1/3 really rely on it).
They are the most fun, energetic age! I love them and wouldn't teach anywhere else. They're loud, enthusiastic and hang on every word you say. You will be their favourite person!
Good luck!