Why do some parents have such low expectations?

[CandODad]

School expectation is for children to read at home five times a week.

Class rule is at least three times or you attend a twenty minute lunch club on a Friday.

I had a parent trying to complain that I was robbing their child of play time and should blame them not the child?

I pointed out it wasn't about blame but learning a life skill but they honestly thought there was no issue to a child with no SEND issues being eight but reading at a five year olds level.

How do I resolve this?

I find it a bit distressing that all the joy of reading is apparently being sucked out of children.

Dd has asd and is due to start school in September.

She loves books and wants to read them constantly, but it's on her terms and she reads the ones she likes the look of.

I won't be 'forcing' her to read to a particular timetable either. But hat doesn't mean I have low expectations, just a belief that she'll be much more engaged if she learns to love learning.

Wow, so wrong to take playtime away. Teachers who see things in black & white are not good teachers, imo.

Both my dc (8 and 11) are avid and advanced readers. Their reading really took off when I stopped doing making them read their primary school reading books to me and just let them read their own books. Before that they hated it. We never did it 5 days a week though!

Oh and I'm a teacher too, btw.

I read five times or more a week since I was 5, but my primary school had great motivation for reading with games, quizzes at lunchtime, prizes if you read extra during the week (i.e. more playtime or joining a pizza party). When I was young, I didn't find reading a chore, but then again, I was a complete nerd that completed all of her studies two years early.

Well, OP, that's you told!!

How do i resolve this? If i was you i would encourage the reading of anything, comics, the Argos catalogue, descriptions of computer games, the back of a cereal packet etc. I would then ask the parent to note down if they can, any successes and any words they found difficult. Set them a challenge of the longest word they found to read or the silliest and encourage the child to write in in their Diary. I think you need to turn this problem on its head. My youngest DS is 9 and after lots of nagging i got an ed psych assessment organised by the school. The assumption was he was lazy and not trying. He can read but is reluctant and his spelling is appalling. Why haven't you learnt your spellings? Encourage your child to do xyz. He's dyslexic. With all due respect your never going to be sure about send without a proper ed psych assessment.

I'm always amazed that parents can't find 5 - 10 minutes a night to read with their children but expect teachers to listen to 30 children read for 5 minutes each, several times a week. So, 2.5 hours even just to listen to each child once. What lesson would those parents be happy for the teacher to drop in order to accommodate this?

When my own DCs started school, over 20 years ago, it was part of our parents 'induction ' that we were expected to read with our children at least three times a week. We used to read a variety of materials, not always the books school sent home. We read comics, recipes as we were making the cookies or whatever, information boards at museums, adverts at the bus stop. We shared reading at bedtime, at first they just read the few words they could decide and as time went on, we read a page each. At 8, we were selecting news stories or sports reports in the newspaper. It's not just about Biff and Chip!

Whileweareonthesubject
Well put. (Wait for the answer 'the TA can do it' though).
It's really not too much to expect parents to read with their kids. My mam let me read my own books, books from the library, argos catalogue, magaiznes etc.

Fine, parents dont have to read a novel 30 mins every day but I find it odd that people claim not to have 10mins 3 times a week.

Quite, Maisy. I am a TA and my timetable does not have a spare 2.5 hours available either. Our children spread everyday in class, but it's part of their normal work, so, reading information in all subjects as well as during English and maths. The class teachers and I try to listen to all the children read as a discrete activity as often as possible, but this often means keeping a couple of children out of assembly as there really aren't that many spare minutes in the day.

Teachers seem to be expected to-do so much these days, things that were seen as parents' responsibilities years ago.

I am a TA and my timetable does not have a spare 2.5 hours available either.

I'd be surprised if it had a spare 2.5 minutes let alone 2.5 hours, TAs do so much more nowadays.

Everyone can find 5 mins per day
It's ridiculous to suggest otherwise
Doesn't have to be at home
In the car waiting for siblings
At sports activities hanging around between classes
At grandparents/other carer
We manage to find 5 mins 5 times a week
It's not hard

I think you teach a child to love reading by encouraging them to read daily. This improves their ability and when you can do something you like it more.

How can anyone not find 5 minutes a day before bed?

...and I am a volunteer in school and I listen to the children who never read at home.
The majority are well behind their peers
It's not hard to see the correlation

But...a lot of parents will absolutely refuse to do any work at home with their children and with the closure of local libraries lots of children now have no access to a good selection of books - I'm a big believer that even the most reluctant reader will read if you find their "hook"

With my dyslexic ds it was the HYTYD series of books

But it doesn't have to be before bed - that's my point
Reading can be done anywhere really

My stepbrother was forced to read like this. Now he hates it (he's in his early twenties). He would never pick up a book for pleasure, it's a complete chore to him. It's so sad. My nephew is about 8, and I can already see he might go the same way... doesn't help that his school books are horrendous!

I never had to read, but we always had books around us and were always read to. I had my own copy of The Hobbit by the end of year 2, and was the sort of child who stayed up until stupid o'clock under the covers with a book and a torch... at least in part, I think, because reading was always made pleasurable rather than a chore.

Ds doesn't read school books
He reads books from home

I'm a big believer that even the most reluctant reader will read if you find their "hook"

I agree, but finding that hook can be damn hard work. One of my three is an avid reader, one is very keen and the other hates it. The one that hates it won't look at the blurb of the books in the library to find ones that might be good and has only found two series of books that they like by listening to a recommendation from a teacher and being told by me that the books were too old for them to read and that I didn't approve; therefore immediately making said books extremely desirable reading material

😂

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect kids to read 5 minutes a day but i do think that the dull books they are handed to read without choice contribute to taking away all the enjoyment.

Here Biff, Chip and Kipper are standard issue Primary 1-3 and both the teacher and I really struggled to get him to concentrate on them, i pointed out that whilst he might not sit for the 5 minutes of these he was happily reading Harry Potter independently in bed every night then telling me all about it in the morning by age 7! Even now at almost 11 he hates reading the dull Michael Murpurgo books and whilst he looks at the pages he couldn't tell you what happens 5 minutes later but give him a Brian Cox book and he can tell you anything you want to know about astronomy.

As someone who will read anything and everything i do have preferences and wouldn't enjoy reading something that didn't interest me so why should children be any different?

This is a Mumsnet education thread - if you're reading this you are most probably engaged in your child's education. You can definitely afford to pay your electricity bill and you have access to the internet, and can read and write well enough to post.

It's easy to judge. Some parents are drug addicts/alcoholics, some work every hour, some are illiterate, some are victims of DV, some have living conditions we can't imagine, some need to be cared for by their small children, some have severe MH issues, some are lazy. Not the child's fault. We need to change the rules to make it fair for those children. If they don't get support at home, we give it and we never judge the children. We certainly never take their socialising time away from them.

Honestly, I really think lots of people would be surprised at the lives some children lead, even some seemingly well to do children in leafy suburbs. This is where we can make a difference.

We live in a very unfair society. Education is supposed to help get children out of poverty. I'll do anything I can to get them fully engaged in that education.

And breathe.

It's not the child's fault if the parent is too busy. Do you know the child's circumstances? For all the school knows, this dad is a single parent who works shifts and isn't always able to do it, there could be a sibling to add to the issue aswell.

I think it's a bit much to expect a child to read to a parent 5 days a week, I do in my house because my circumstances allow me to do this with my son, however, if I started working in the evenings again, I wouldn't be able to.

*You can definitely afford to pay your electricity bill and you have access to the internet, and can read and write well enough to post.

It's easy to judge*

It's also easy to judge if we can afford our electricity bill!
But yes, apart from that I do agree with you.

Fair point doublesnap!

I don't mind reading 5 times per week but we don't manage it as we have a minimum of 3 peices of homework to do too (year 1). The children get told off/arsily reminded if it isn't completed so I prioritise homework so DD doesn't feel bad.

We leave the house at 8am, get home at 6 and DD sleeps 7.30ish -7.

I feel the school would also take issue if I didn't feed her or wash her. At weekends we also like to have a life.

I am very lucky that DD has finished book bands etc but that is down to the fact she picked up reading quickly without much parent intervention, I would hate to be made to feel like shit if she hadn't been lucky enough to find it easy.