Why do some parents have such low expectations?

[CandODad]

School expectation is for children to read at home five times a week.

Class rule is at least three times or you attend a twenty minute lunch club on a Friday.

I had a parent trying to complain that I was robbing their child of play time and should blame them not the child?

I pointed out it wasn't about blame but learning a life skill but they honestly thought there was no issue to a child with no SEND issues being eight but reading at a five year olds level.

How do I resolve this?

I think 5 times a week is a bit much to be honest. I ask my parents to read twice a week at home. They read every morning for 15 minutes when they arrive at school. There shouldn't be a punishment for not completing the reading - perhaps a reward for the ones that do??

I had a parent trying to complain that I was robbing their child of play time and should blame them not the child?

The parent is right. I also see it as you devaluing playtime (and I agree that you can negotiate but not dictate what people might do in their own homes to support your teaching targets – parents may well have different priorities).

Mine read to me approximately 5 times a year. If that. Two of them have As for gcse English and one is predicted over 110 in her sats. Fwiw.

They did read. To themselves. In bed, taking books from out bookshelf. I have no idea what they read.

I personally would complain to the school about this level of reading. It just isn't possible for my family, especially this week - we've done no reading at all.

Having said that, we do read to our children when we have the time, and both DC have reading skills above their age group and read independently at home.

I think you are going to turn reading into a chore for the type of children you are trying to 'help'.

I am a full time teacher with two young children. I really, really struggle to fit in reading at a good time for both of them. One is dyslexic and we do extra work every night.

My main priority is reading to them. I have managed to do this every night since they were born and will do so as long as they want me to. I cannot always fit in them reading to me too.

My expectations are very high!

I'm a parent of teens. I was very contentious about reading etc. In hindsight I shouldn't have been. We should have had more fun, worried less and been more rebellious.

20 minutes does seem like quite a long time for younger children to stay in at lunch, especially as small children are often slow eaters. So 60 minute lunch break could turn into 20 minutes reading, 5 minutes queuing for school dinner, 20-30 minutes eating, and less than 10 minutes left for running around.

However, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect DC to read 3 times a week. I have fond memories of reading to my grandmother and to my childminder when I was a child, and walking through the afterschool club at the school where I work I saw 2 DC reading to staff.

It seems harsh to take their playtime your making reading seem like a chore to be done to get reward not the joy it should be. Can't you reward the readers rather than punish those that don't? Is there any chance parents may be illiterate and struggle to read to their child? Or dyslexic?

Another barrier in some families can be poor literacy levels in parents.

OP do you think parents would be receptive to an after school reading club? Once a week, 20-30 minutes for invited DC to read to teachers or volunteers, then you know that those DC are getting at least one 1:1 reading time each week.

Anyone who works full time would struggle to read a reading book and record progress five times a week. I'd rather share a book with DD that she actually wants to read.

I have 3 kids, we get up at 7.30, an hour of chaos to leave the house at 8.30. The kids go to school, then straight from school to after school club. I collect them at 5.30, make their tea, feed them at 6, this invariably lasts to 6.30, let them play for a bit and them put them to bed at 7.30. I read them a bed time story. There is no time on a weekday for me to get 3 kids to read a book each to me. It's just not going to happen. I'm not lazy, I'm not illiterate, I'm just busy. So sue me.

While I agree in part. Obviously reading is a life skill. I love books as do my children. But why is it that neither myself nor my brother or my husband or anyone else I know in my generation had any homework including reading AT ALL until senior school. I learnt to read, and read well without having a forced five minutes with my parents of a book that was not our families choosing. A lot of teachers on here seem to be poor me, bad parents when actually I do resent making my children do school work out of school. That's for me time. I'm quite capable of being a good parent without having these things forced upon me. Schools need to stop trying to police parenting so much.

I had to tell my 6 year old's teacher that I do not practise her spellings with her. I can see she is Almost there and whilst she is not getting 100 percent in her tests I can see that long term she'll be fine. Meanwhile my autistic eldest is struggling massively with his GCSE curriculum and needs huge amounts of homework support ATM, plus 20 year old doing tutor work for 11 plus exam. I just can't prioritise spellings for my DD and I have high expectations. I don't hear her read much either, but do do a bedtime story almost every night.

At that age are they not reading in school every day? I would worry that the punishment element of keeping the child in at lunchtime is counterproductive and will take the joy out of reading. I do think parents should have good expectations for their child, but I also feel ( for a young child anyway) that it is actually the teachers job to teach the child, not the parents. The school day in this country is very long, and the holidays short compared to other countries so I just wonder why so much work needs to be done at home?
Also, does it really matter if the child's 'reading age' is a bit low? In dD's school they all move at their own speed, she is about 10 'book bands' ahead of some of the other children in her class (no SEN), but I would presume in a couple of years the spread of ability will have narrowed. Or does it not work like that?

*10 year old, not 20.

DS year 3 has to read every day, noted & signed in the reading diary. If they don't read & don't have a good reason noted & signed by an adult they have their name put in the teachers book. 2 times in the book & they have to read in their break. I absolutely hate this. My DD year 6 had no issue with this, she loves to read but while DS enjoys reading sometimes he is tired or just doesn't feel like it. Both are reading above expected levels so their different levels of enjoyment have had no impact on their capability. Making reading a chore will not encourage reluctant readers to love reading & will have the opposite effect.

5 times a week over 7 days is alright in my opinion - especially since some of those sessions could be in school time (to a teacher or TA in guided reading/personal reading, to a volunteer). It takes 5 minutes - I also don't mind if some of those sessions are when the adult reads to the child, but it's good to have a comment in their diary if they do reading diaries.

Writing 'Discussed monkeys' in a book about a monkey is easy.
Writing 'read fluently, asked about feelings of main character' is easy.
Writing 'we read 2 pages of the Twits together' is easy.
Writing 'didn't read, talked about xxxx instead' is easy and acceptable.

There's no escaping the fact that exposure to reading is what makes good readers, that it helps with accessing other subjects independently, that it helps with allowing escapism to other worlds. Those things are an important part of play and life in general. It all links up. 5 minutes a day is nothing, 5 minutes 3 times a week as the OP stated, really is nothing.

Mumma completely. I resent our infant school is setting homework at all. Maths, spellings and reading an xz extra challenges. Year 2 have a sats revision guide they can buy. I will not be buying it, my older one never even knew she was sitting sats!!

As a shared responsibility I mean - rather than all on the parent.

So if I wrote down whatever book I read at bedtime in his diary and 'ds read all the -ing words' that would count as one of his reading sessions? Ridiculously, I've never thought of doing that.

What madness is this, where children lose their lunch because of their parents?

OP if you were my kid's teacher I would be happy to lie to you.

My kids love books, but at home they prefer to read for pleasure.

As you are a teacher I could ask why the level of science education is so abysmal in primary school. Are you teaching science to a decent level? An eight year old child is more than capable of understanding basic atomic theory or learning about the phases of matter- if you need to clutch your pearls then I think this is something worth bleating about.

My son is only nursery aged but he is expected to read his phones book at home. If he wants to do it we will, but I don't push the issue. He loves books and is always asking for one more story. That is more important in my opinion.

If you have more than one child and lots of activities it is hard to fit in. I wouldn't be happy for a child to miss playtime for not completing doing reading or not comoleting classwork on time. The curriculum is increasingly academic, children also need a chance to let off steam.