Why do some parents have such low expectations?

[CandODad]

School expectation is for children to read at home five times a week.

Class rule is at least three times or you attend a twenty minute lunch club on a Friday.

I had a parent trying to complain that I was robbing their child of play time and should blame them not the child?

I pointed out it wasn't about blame but learning a life skill but they honestly thought there was no issue to a child with no SEND issues being eight but reading at a five year olds level.

How do I resolve this?

Ours are read with every night but we are rubbish at writing up the reading record. By the time DH has got home specially for bedtime, read with each child, and we have cooked and eaten dinner, we don't always get round to it. It would seem ridiculous to punish an 8 year old for us not writing up their record enough.

By 8 I think you are losing a good proportion of parental buy-in for reading records. It's not just the reading, it's that plus spellings plus timetables plus music practice plus homework plus termly project before you even start adding in brownies or football or anything they might actually do for fun.

There are other clubs at schools - like chess or sports - dance or crafts - are these children also being punished because they miss playtime?

Why this absolute obsession with reading? And loading academics onto little children?

Reading is all and well, but a five year old should be climbing trees and splashing in puddles, having fun baking and learning how to do their laundry.

Five year olds with home work of any kind is an abomination.

Where I am children really don't really learn to read in any systemic way until they're seven. Games such as maths hopscotch are infinitely better for their brains than sitting down having to plod through boring old books about Jane and Tom.

Fwiw I never made my kids read, but we did read the hobbit etc to them when they were five and six at bedtime.

They got sent home absolutely boring books about lost kittens when they were seven, but never read them in my presence anyway. They liked adventure stories with complicated characters, as do most people I believe, looking at the bestsellers lists.

My kids now read extremely well and also climb trees. But they couldn't read at five, and that was fine with me. Family time running about the park, playing poker, or Yahtzee for eg was more important.

Punishing a child because you have ideas about who to blame for not doing your job for you is ridiculous!

Won't someone think of the children? Whatever happened to childhood?

Astro55, well they aren't missing playtime, they are doing something they want to do at their leisure. Isolating and cooping a child up in a stuffy classroom forcing them to read when all they want to do it let off some steam isn't going to do anyone any favours, it will just make the child resent reading full stop!

I work with kids. Punishment is not the answer. It really is not.

Children come from complex, varying backgrounds and one size does not fit all.

Conservative government: are you listening?

Dh and I are both teachers. Last week I sent a note to dd2s reception teacher saying I was not returning her reading book as despite having it for 3 days, we hadn't had a chance to read it with her.
I would have been livid if she had faced consequences over that. But instead I got a "no problem, I understand" note back.

forcing them to read

Well they may enjoy reading but have busy parents and active social lives! Not every child who doesn't read at home hates reading

op my sons school has the exact same rules as yours- whereby if I don't sign his reading diary he does "reading lunch". It's certainly a faff as he's a bookworm and it's usually just that I've forgotten to sign his diary! However the school reiiterate that reading lunch isn't a punishment and I support them wholeheartedly.
I don't think 3x a week reading is unreasonable op.

YANBU, if a parent can't find five minutes a day to read with their child then their priorities are all wrong. Regardless of the number of chidren they have, their job etc.

It doesn't have to be a reading book, it can be any book and it takes seconds to pop read x pages tonight in their planner.

Unsure about reading in playtime but if parents won't do it at home there's not much time in school to do around normal lessons bar breaks.

As others have said, it's not always that easy. On my work days we don't all get in until at least 5.30. Some nights dd1 has dance which I have to drive her to and pick her up, dh works a lot of evenings so some nights it just can't be done.
I read to her every night tho. Lovely classic stories that she adores.

I don't read everyday with my child. We work, have after school activities 3 nights of the week and trying to get him to read before school is a battle we don't always have time for. However he loves books and we will always try to do the homework that is set ( so he will read his book but not everyday). We had similar with his older sister and she loves reading.

are they reading or barking at print?

So you're punishing children because their parents aren't doing what you've told them to in their own time?

Unbelievable.

So you're punishing children

Why? Why isn't is seen as offering help to parents who don't have time? Are you punishing your kids when you do listen to them read? Or are you helping them with their learning? Some kids would like the extra attention - some kids like reading - some need extra support.

It's not a punishment

Keeping children in for 20 minutes of their lunch break (also known as "detention") is a punishment.

In addition to all that has been said, often the books sent home are so incredibly dull... Tatty copies, rubbish stories, poor quality text and literature. I can see why children aren't keen to read them.

I have 4 children, one loved reading, my youngest is 4 and loves work activities so I give him homework which he laps up. My other two hated to read. So I never forced them to read, for the oldest one who was in the uk I got notes home all the time. But I just continued I read to him. The other is at school abroad and didn't start having to read until he was 7 anyway, so it wasn't a problem. They both learned to read but most importantly, because they weren't forced to see reading as a chore, they developed a love for books. Often forcing children to work at home will cause resentment, anxiety and tears. That is counter productive for their academic future. I don't have low expectations, far from it.

I think that's the key, and where other counties have it right. Barely 4 yearolds bhere are being expected to read whereas in other European countries they wait until7!

RainbowsAndUnicorn - I find it incredibly offensive that you think if a parent cannot find 5 minutes to read with a child then their priorities must be wrong.
some of us have to fit in physiotherapy and other therapies at home - for more than one child.
some of us have children who have other special needs that mean reading is a challenge for our children and even getting them to sit down with a book takes more than 5 minutes.
some of us who have larger families find families mealtimes - being together, talking together and spending time is much more beneficial than a hurried 5 minutes of listening to a child read biff and chip again.
we are not all the same - our children are not all the same. i refuse to bow to the crazy notion that to be a good parent i will listen to 5x5 sets of reading per week.
so lots of us actually have our priorities right.

I am busy. I only want to cook one meal. So We tend to all eat together, no phones books or TV. That time is more beneficial than being read to imvho.

Does anyone actually manage to do it in 5 mins? It takes us way longer, much like tooth brushing seems to take at least 10 mins to achieve 2 mins' actual brushing.

I read with children in school too, and I never get through anything like 12 of them in an hour.

My dd needed more time with reading but my ds just picked it up straight away and is a very good reader. The school used to want every child to read every night plus do maths (I'm talking infant school.) I never did that and the school probably thought I was a "low expectations" parent when actually I could see how intelligent my ds was as he's one of those kids who doesn't really have to try, he just "gets" it. He ended up in the "above expectations" for his year 2 sats and is in the top 1% for academia in his year group.

My dd is different and always has to try more.

My point is each child should be judged individually rather than one blanket "everyone should read 5 times a week etc" then be made to stay in at lunch if they don't. That would be horrible for my ds if he had to stay in for not reading when he can read already really really well.

I think your club is a ridiculous idea. I have lots of children in my class who don't read to an adult at home so we find ways to fit in lots of reading fun challenges, paired reading, using up those odd 5 minutes at school, making full use of any adults/volunteers. Obviously we also suggest fun reading activities to busy/less confident parents as well. I want to foster a love of reading. Certainly wouldn't take playtime away!

Goingmad that sounds good. Our school is part of a MAT and all rules for all schools are determined from on high :(

I can't always get my Dd to read her school book at night without tears. I don't collect her from her childminder until 630 so she's usually really tired and by the time we've done spelling practice and number bonds its hit and miss if I can get her to do the reading too. Some nights she does it no problem and enjoys showing off the progress she's made, other days it is like pulling teeth and imo counter productive and unlikely to foster a love of reading. I don't force her on the bad days not because I don't care but because I think it is the quickest way to kill a love of reading.