What's best in this field trip situation?

[Shadowboy]

I'm currently on maternity leave but return in a month. Last June we gave out letters regarding a field trip for 1 week to a European destination (I do t want to reveal where as I don't want to out the school) 60% of our cohort is attending in the year group. Before I left for maternity I booked hotel/centres for the two locations we will be in. The rooms are split girls on top floor in rooms of either two or four (hotel all in pairs) and boys in 1st floor. 2 members of staff on the top floor and 3 on the 1st floor.
Last Friday I received an email from a parent of a student who was when I last saw him a male. His (or her I really need to know the correct etiquette for this!) mother has asked for her to be roomed on the same floor as the girls as she is now fully engaged in being considered of the female gender. I have contacted the hotel and they have no rooms left. The centre has a spare but it's the other end of the centre in an annex.

I did find another hotel but it's more expensive (fancy place!) and would mean £57 more per student for the trip.

We have a contingency fund but not at a rate of £57 AND enough to cover any other issues. Do I ask two members of staff to share a room (issue is I have booked double beds so they would actually have to share a bed! But this would free up a room on the correct floor)

We have also never let students sleep in rooms alone (a safety issue when abroad but I'm not comfortable asking girls to share with a student who they 8 months ago believed was male)

I'm not even actually back in work officially yet but the trip is in 6 weeks so I need to sort it ASAP. My line manager has no idea what to do as we've never come across this at short notice. What would you do?!!

They wouldn't put a biological girl on the boys floor because those nasty boys would sexually assault her.

I doubt a a girl would make such a demand tbh.

Surely the cheapest option would have been to move one member of staff to the annex and free up one staff bedroom for the mid-transition girl: swapping the girl and boy floors if necessary to have 2 staff on each floor?

We went skiing last year - 7 members of staff - we had two rooms to keep costs down 3 men in one room and girls in the toher. We slept in same bed together - 2 queen beds for the 4 of us. It didn`t take away our professionalism at all and the staff knew before they went and before they paid for the trip...we paid so much towards an extra member of staff to go so we had more than enough staff.

other not toher!

I think you misunderstand. This can be hard for the kids involved. I know a FTM transgender student who is struggling psychologically and is on (psych) meds. He is sharing a room with a boy on a forthcoming school trip. He is biologically female. I very much doubt that his male friend who is sharing a room with him is nasty or will assault him.

That's not the same situation though George. That trip has been arranged whilst being aware of the student's trans status, and obviously an arrangement that the student and their friend is happy with has been decided on. This situation is a change from what was planned, after everything has been booked and arranged.

Also, no one is suggesting that the student must be forced to share with a boy when they don't feel comfortable with that due to their gender identity.

Also, no one is suggesting that the student must be forced to share with a boy when they don't feel comfortable with that due to their gender identity.

What if another boy also identified as trans? Then the boy would have no choice but to share with this other boy.

The solution I propose to this problem:

A male staff member declares that he identifies as female. The two transfeminine individuals go to a different hotel.

Problem solved.

The teacher can detransition afterwards, or discover that he is genderfluid and just identified as female during the stay.

We slept in same bed together - 2 queen beds for the 4 of us. It didn`t take away our professionalism at all and the staff knew before they went and before they paid for the trip.

That's relying on an awful lot of goodwill. Some of my teacher friends I would not might sharing with at all, others colleagues I definitely would.

Bloody hell, taking 50 teenagers to Paris is stressful enough at the best of times. YABU to expect a little privacy in bed at the very least (once you've rounded up the smuggled in booze, dealt with 3 tiffs, 1 escapee and 1 bout of homesickness of course).

I think OP's solution is wrong. The child has the problem, the child should have moved.

Getting it right for one at the expense of everyone else as usual.

Ah, sorry, misunderstood your post, ASsassinated.

I think OP's solution is wrong. The child has the problem, the child should have moved.

Agreed.

Though I wonder how this is going to work when all the millions of genders that transactivists tell us exist want separate rooms for their gender identity.

It is all going to be a lot more expensive, that's for sure.

Could the girls floor be swapped with the boys floor? Are there similar numbers that could allow this.

Then put 2 staff on top floor and 2 staff on 1st floor (instead of 3)
Then the other member of staff is the one that sleeps in the annex. This frees up 3rd member of staff's room for the girl in question.

This solution only works if there are the same number of girls and boys to enable floor swapping. It also only works if the 4 members of staff are happy for the 5th to get away with not having to do midnight patrols!!!

I think that the student insisting on being accommodated with the girls, and demanding that everyone jump through hoops to accommodate this is a classic example of male privilege and not actually identifying as a woman.

The gender fluid teacher suggestion is genius.

As you've said, if you'd had more notice maybe you could have accommodated this request. As it is, its booked and paid for, and not really reasonable to expect changes in room arrangements at this point in time. The only option really is a single room, which carries its own risks and expense. And its not just the student in question who is affected by the risk, the teachers will need to be able to include that room on patrols to make sure no other students are in there ,out of the reach of supervision, so its not just this students parents who would need to agree to any increased risk.
I think I would say its too late to accommodate the request for this trip, but that future trips can take the extra requirements into account.

If it doesn't matter that there is a male on the girls' floor, why do you have separate girls' and boys' floors?

I think that 8 months ago at the time lf paying the deposit this should have been discussed in private with you or anither teacher so the contingency plan could have been thought of then, whatever decision you make someone will feel / hurt/ discriminated/ treated unfairly. Every respect for the child but none for the parent sorry ....

If sex-segregated floors don't matter you could jumble up the rooms and ask the hotel if they can fit a third bed in one of them so the trans student can have their own room and there will be a room with 3 girls or 3 boys.

Of course all the other parents might throw a shit fit because this is not what they signed up for.

If sex-segregated floors do matter then it matters if there is a male student staying on the girls' floor.

I know a FTM transgender student who is struggling psychologically and is on (psych) meds. He is sharing a room with a boy on a forthcoming school trip. He is biologically female. I very much doubt that his male friend who is sharing a room with him is nasty or will assault him

No but they may have loving consensual sex which could result in pregnancy.

Can't believe the school has £900 sat around to spend on this nonsense. "Sorry there's no more rooms available" is s perfectly reasonable response.

I hope one or both of the displaced girls discovers she identifies as a boy in the next couple of days
why couldn't you have had mixed floors ans added an extra bed to the biggest one as a pp suggested.

Assuming the two girls are ok with the situation, and it appears they are, this seem to be the best solution.

They say they are.

What a good solution to ever beig allocate a sharing room with someone you dont want to - "im a girl now"

7 yo dd is a huge people pleaser. I keep encouraging her to make her wants known as much as others.

No the girls are not pushed out when we all sat down in a meeting this morning my colleague suggested asking her daughter who was asked not forced (no reason was given) and she loved the idea. Yes they will eat all together. The hotel is genuinely next door (major tourist area we are in ) they will socialise together, they will travel together and yes this was the cheapest option. If the child's parents had not been able to come we would have had to refund the child and their costs are more expensive (due to the way staff places are partially paid for with every 18 student places.

I feel for this child who wants to participate in a trip with his/her peers but doesn't feel comfortable being with all boys. The centre is not an issue this student will be in the annex with the additional member of staff. This is simply 3 nights in a hotel. The girls are happy, the child and his parents are happy and whilst the school is not thrilled we have managed to cater for all who wish to travel.

Obviously in future we would come up with a better solution but seeing as these students leave on the first day of the Easter break there was very little time to deal with this.

Everything else on the trip will remain as is.

I can't comment on what the parent's of the child said but there was actually very very good reason as to why they did not contact me earlier (I only found out why during today's meeting)

Believe me the girls won't miss out, they will socialise with the others in the common area at the hotel until 10.30pm and then they will walk with the adult across to get ready for lights out at 11pm - we felt this was fair.

As for having a male on the female floor there may be other male guests on that floor anyway. We could mix the floors up but it still doesn't add an extra room into the mix. We could have asked two boys to go across into the hotel next door but these girls were asked first as it prevented having to do a floor mix up (more changes to be made)

I shall now sign off from the thread and return to my maternity leave. I've come home to a baby with a temp of 39.3 so have my own kids to worry about now!