What's best in this field trip situation?

[Shadowboy]

I'm currently on maternity leave but return in a month. Last June we gave out letters regarding a field trip for 1 week to a European destination (I do t want to reveal where as I don't want to out the school) 60% of our cohort is attending in the year group. Before I left for maternity I booked hotel/centres for the two locations we will be in. The rooms are split girls on top floor in rooms of either two or four (hotel all in pairs) and boys in 1st floor. 2 members of staff on the top floor and 3 on the 1st floor.
Last Friday I received an email from a parent of a student who was when I last saw him a male. His (or her I really need to know the correct etiquette for this!) mother has asked for her to be roomed on the same floor as the girls as she is now fully engaged in being considered of the female gender. I have contacted the hotel and they have no rooms left. The centre has a spare but it's the other end of the centre in an annex.

I did find another hotel but it's more expensive (fancy place!) and would mean £57 more per student for the trip.

We have a contingency fund but not at a rate of £57 AND enough to cover any other issues. Do I ask two members of staff to share a room (issue is I have booked double beds so they would actually have to share a bed! But this would free up a room on the correct floor)

We have also never let students sleep in rooms alone (a safety issue when abroad but I'm not comfortable asking girls to share with a student who they 8 months ago believed was male)

I'm not even actually back in work officially yet but the trip is in 6 weeks so I need to sort it ASAP. My line manager has no idea what to do as we've never come across this at short notice. What would you do?!!

So what happens if the girls when asked to volunteer say no?
What happens when the staff member says no because they don't have to put themselves in this situation?

What happens when the parents of the two girls say no. It's not what was sold to them and it's not what they have paid for. As a parent I would not be happy because been shunned to another hotel does change the dynamics.

Or are you/the school just going to tell everyone to shut up and accept it?

I think the assessment of the feminism board wrt trans issues was quite accurate, tbh....

As in, the assessment that other posters have given of how the Feminism board would react: that assessment is accurate. The Feminism board would fall over itself explaining how the transitioning student is and always shall be biologically male. Possibly correct but not helpful right now.

So eight months ago, this student was a boy, booked the trip as a boy and signed up knowing all the info about how bedrooms would be shared by gender etc?

And now this same student is so far along in their desire to be female they require a whole set of special arrangements on what is already a whole cohort of hormone-laden young people?

The timeframe alone doesn't add up in my head. There is such a huge potential for disaster all because of one person now deciding too late in the day that everything needs upheaving because of them.

So LaContessa what are your more helpful thoughts about this situation?

Wow, you're between a rock and a hard place op.

I have to say, that while I have total sympathy with the child involved, I would say that existing arrangements, those that all involved signed up to, have to take precedence. I would not accept my child being moved to another hotel to accommodate this.

If there are no rooms, there are no rooms. I'd tell the parents this and give them the choice to withdraw from the trip, while emphasising the school's support for the trans child. Why should the school fall over themselves/incur extra costs for one child? One child's needs can't trump the others, especially this late in the day.

I think the op's suggested solution, while not ideal, sounds like the best that can be managed right now. I also think she's a bloody saint for managing it on maternity leave!

Perhaps the school need to consider circulating a letter to parents, strongly stating that future requests for last-minute room rearrangements will not be met (or will be met at the parent's expense). That might encourage transitioning students and their parents to let the school know of any predicted changes in requirements well ahead of time (privately, confidentially etc). That way they can be accommodated smoothly, in a manner they are happy with, without a lot of last-minute panic.

Don't look at me like that, Beauty (so to speak): you know as well as I do that the practicalities of the matter would be lost in a wave of academic discussion/occasional vitriol over on the FB, and I say that as someone who quite enjoys the more thought-provoking conversations therein.

Astonishing that so often the outcome of these situations is female people being shoved out of the way to make way for male people.

I don't understand the justification for the girls rather than the boy being the ones moved to another hotel. Surely the fact that the parents raised it so late should mean it's down to them to accept a non ideal solution for that child.

There is no justification as far as I can see, other than perhaps fear of the parents being unhappy with their child not being accommodated with the girls. The fear of being accused of discrimination is great I suspect. Better to shift some girls who are nothing to do with it out of the way, to ensure that no claims of discrimination against the other child could be raised.

Id keep the student on the same floor as the boys. Move one of the teacher rooms into that annexe (teachers can take turns to have a "night off" away from the main group if they want). This student then takes the third teacher room on that floor.

Imo no female hormone treatment and still in posession of a penis means the only floor suitable for them to sleep is amongst the other students who have penises/peni

What accommodations are already being made for this student at school? Are they using the girls' changing room and girls toilets? Has their transition gone far enough to justify this huge upheaval, inconvenience and expense, or is it merely a request to consider? Will a 'No, it's too late, you can have a full refund if this is unacceptable' be accepted, or are the parents going to kick off?

Whether the parents will 'kick off' should not influence any decision

Otherwise schools operational procedures are shaped by the loudest parents already the case

£900 quid out of the school's sorely stretched budget !!

I would object to my daughter being moved to another hotel where she would miss out on being part of the group to accommodate a boy who now identifies as a girl. She has been accommodating boys for the last 13 years in school.

As a parent I would not be happy with my DD being shunted off to a separate hotel in these circumstances.

I think nobles questions are worth asking. If the pupil is already dressing as a girl, using girls' changing room for PE etc then that is one thing. But if that has not already occurred then an outright No would not be unreasonable.

Id agree that the teacher and single student should live - hoisting out 2 girls when it's partbpft he experience is a bit cruel if you ask me and they aren't the ones creating the issue - I would explain this to mum so she has a choose - share with the boys as first point for separate hotel

** As a side it it a female teacher moved or a male teacher moved? Is that the issue?

Will you ask the parents of the transchild to foot the extra costs? Or even make them aware that their 'request' (and the school's solution) means other DCs will be separated from the main group etc?

She identifies as a girl and I feel should be on same floor as girls.
Are you sure no double rooms with singles for 2 staff to share in original hotel- or 2 girls to share...
Must be a better solution than 2x hotels...

I would bet my socks that parents of the girls affected won't be told, the reason for the move

They will be robbed off with a story about miscalculation/overbooked hotel etc etc, so that they suck it up, in good faith

And the justification for that will be 'to protect the privacy of the trans child'

😠

Why do you think this child should be on the 'girls floor'

What be you think is the rationale for sex segregation? And why do you think gender identity negates mitigates that?

Regardless of how you feel about it Dreamer , the DCs were separated by sex not gender and the child requesting to move floors is not legally recognised as having changed sex.
Having accompanied teens on residentials, our risk assessments dealt in facts not feelings.

Thing is, if two girls are shifted out and are unhappy about it, that is actually a horrible position for the trans child to be in. Depending on the group dynamics it could be really awkward and embarrassing for that child knowing they have spoilt the trip for other kids and it could surely leave them vulnerable to getting picked on.

Don't bend over backwards. I'm a teacher and would just say it's not possible for the reasons you have stated. It's not discriminatory because it's a fact that there are no rooms left. It's not the school's fault he changed gender and needs a different room 6 weeks before departure. I think they're asking a bit.much tbh.