I can't teach!

[CuckooCuckooClock]

I returned to teaching in September after 6 years off having babies and I just can't get my confidence back.

I'm 0.6 so I hardly have any ppa time and no time in the evenings or on days off to plan lessons really well. I feel like I'm just delivering crap lessons. I'm behind with marking and writing new schemes.

Because I'm part time I've missed inset days, when there's usually time to get your shit together. I miss all the dept meetings so I never know what's going on.

I want to cry after every lesson because I feel so bad about them.

Is this a blip? Will I get back into it or should I get out?

Anyone else struggle on returning after a break? How did you manage? I still really want to teach but I Don't want to be a shit teacher.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

What princesspotsie said really hit home to me -"I was constantly comparing myself to my pre DC self and knew that i could never be as good a teacher as then. "

I used to be a great teacher. Inspiring, head of department in my 20s, cared about every student, always available. Worked crazy hours but that seemed ok as I felt I made a difference, I had great holidays and no caring responsibilities so working ever night until it was done seemed ok.

Returned to a new school in sept after 2 DC. I hate it. Like totally loathe it. I cannot ever do a good enough job in anything close to my contracted hours. I never get enough sleep. Constantly panicking at the last minute. Gone back to 0.6 classroom teacher but still cannot keep on top of the constant demands for more data/ evidence etc. Emails, learning walks. New initiatives all blatantly for the expected ofsted.

Not sure this is the most helpful thing to tell you, but perhaps it's worth knowing you're not alone. I have handed my notice in. It's telling that the only way to be good at this job any more is to be young. You are cheap to employ and capable of giving the ridiculous number of hours actually required to tick all the boxes.

Agh! I'm on mat leave and going back full time at Easter. Agh again!

I went back after a 4 year gap 3 years ago.
Being a parent has made me a far better teacher, albeit one who is less on top of paperwork.
The first two years, I really, really struggled with loss of confidence, having gone from senior management back to daily supply. I've a contract now and things are much better! There is hope.

I'm going back to work in September after leave plus six months. DS is 3. Originally I thought I'd drop all my responsibilities and look for four days a week but there's not loads out there for part time. I've since Seen a full time post as hod which really excites me and I thought if I use every break, lunch and a bit of my evenings I'd manage, I'm now worried I'm being naive, I used to do 7-7 in the building but avoid bringing work home. The other option is supply and I've met with an agency who say there's lot of work for me but obviously it's a lot less money. Wwyd?!