What do teachers REALLY want for end of term gifts?

[LunaLoveg00d]

Getting towards that time of year again (we're in Scotland so finish end of June) and I never have a clue what to buy. Think last year I got little metal bookmarks with the teacher's name on them, year before that boring candles and wine.

I want to show my gratitude but as the daughter of a teacher I know how many boxes of Roses she got at the end of summer term and at Christmas. I also loathe with a passion any "best teacher" tat. Or twee little poems.

One of the sweetest gifts I ever received was a lovely home made card with a £5 coffee shop voucher inside. The parent had simply written, put your feet up and enjoy your coffee, you deserve it

I hardly ever got presents - must have been really shit then.

Or maybe it was because I was in secondary

Wine!

I have never given teacher presents - happy to send a card and hand written letter but I think it is quite 'unprofessional' of teachers to accept gifts.

The one time I did send a gift, when my DS left nursery school, it was one of those Oxfam gifts to provide education overseas - I got a very nice thank you letter for it, saying it was original and really meant something (of course, they might just have been being polite ).

I sent Waterstone's vouchers for Dd at the end of yr6. Dd had SN so SENCO and all her class teachers got one.

I've never given teachers a present, I don't remember anyone getting the teacher a present when I was at school so I didn't realise that it is the done thing now.

Mottled I never gave presents either when mine were at school - except when they left primary and I sent boxes of biscuits in for the staff room.

I think it might be because I worked in secondary where you don't get presents in the same way because you teach so many different classes.

Once in Year 7 a little girl brought me a gift at Christmas and it seemed odd (nice, but odd) and she realised she was the only one so didn't do it again (until she left at the end of Year 11 when she gave me some flowers).

In the last form I saw through from Year 7-11 there was a girl who was very crafty and she made me a couple of lovely things - a Christmas tree decoration which I still use, a handkerchief sachet, a little photo frame - these are what I like best.

I do agree with Ragwort though and it makes me a bit uncomfortable thinking that families who maybe don't have a lot of extra money might feel they have to buy the teacher something. You get paid for doing a good job - letters and cards should be enough really.

I teach secondary so gifts are rare (which is fine) Last year, a girl in my yr 11 tutor group gave me a photo she had taken - it's framed and on my living room wall now. She's a superb artist so I'm keeping it til she's famous

A lot of parents really struggle financially to buy teacher gifts and perhaps don't have the self confidence to 'ignore' the trend of teacher gifts.

I help at a food bank and recently saw a family that regularly receive food parcels taking a huge bouquet to school (yes, I know it was a present for the teacher because the mum told me and asked for more food from us that week ). I really do think schools should take some sort of lead in stopping all this present giving. In what other profession are so many gifts regularly given?

Ragwort - teachers certainly don't expect or encourage gifts (well, not where I've worked anyway). There are other professions where gifts are given - midwives, carers. And in what other profession do you end up spending your own money on resources, bringing in your own children's toys and books to donate to the school and give a massive amount of time and emotional energy. The family who wanted to give the bouquet to the school may have received support above and beyond what is expected wanted to show their gratitude.

I always give a gift but I agree that it's unprofessional for schools to allow it. I worked for a charity for years and we were never allowed to receive gifts from service users, for obvious reasons. I don't see why schools should be any different. I don't think there are many other public bodies which would allow it.

I can't help but think an exceptionally generous gift could in small amount of cases influence the behaviour of a teacher towards a pupil, with a reputation for giving them in the following year. Just as in any profession, people can be rightly or wrongly accused of preferential behaviour based on acceptance of gifts. The whole culture of gift giving seems very backwards to me.

That said I give gifts because everyone else does it and I'm a sheep and also ...what if my son was treated different next year for being the only one not to stump something up. Am sure these things aren't discussed in the staff room...but how can I know?

On the odd occasion where I have disliked a teacher, I given them a charity donation to oxfam rather than a personal reward.

McColouring are nurses/midwives allowed to accept more than chocolate or cakes? If so and like someone further up the thread receiving £200 handbags then that is wholly inappropriate.

I'd be surprised if carers were allowed gifts but happy to be corrected. The idea of a potentially vulnerable client giving gifts to their carers sounds potentially dangerous to me.

As for careers that require lots of emotional output. I worked with homeless, drug and alcohol addicted and suicidal clients day in, day out and in no way did I think it was acceptable to receive gifts just because of the personal toll the job took on me. My clients were always trying to give me things like packs of cigs, but me a coffee, etc, etc. Sometimes the people that have the least can be the most generous.

Lastly it is totally unacceptable that you are spending your own money on resources for the school. I have many friends who are teachers who refuse to do this. You should also refuse to do it. I you don't then it still doesn't justify accepting gifts.

I do hear what people are saying about gifts. I guess it might be different with carers etc - I think my mum gave flowers to the nursing home rather than an individual carer. Never worked in the kind of area where I would receive a £200 handbag and would make me feel uncomfortable to receive something like that. But there are times where, as a parent, you really feel that you want to say a personal thank you to a teacher - I feel like that with ds's teacher this year who has been amazing! However, there have been other years when I have just given because I felt I should.

Can we say to parents that giving to teachers can't happen? Would some parents object to this? Would parents be willing to give something to the school instead? I don't know how schools would go about banning teacher presents. And where do you draw a line? Do you stop a child drawing picture for their teacher and picking some flowers from their garden?

Oh and the spending money on resources thing - it's a last resort but generally if I didn't spend my own money, we would never do anything with food.

A card with a message is the best gift. Other than that wind always good in my house or stationery. Tbh, I'd love some coloured pencils/ glue sticks/felt tips I can use with my next class. That way I won't have to buy quite so many myself next session.

We have some very organised types amongst the class parents so we all chip in a fiver and they get vouchers/ cash. I don't think it's unprofessional for teachers to accept gifts. I think they deserve to be shown appreciation for their hard work.

I contribute to a class present of a voucher. The class rep collects it. If the teacher is really special I also give a little something extra like a wee bunch of flowers or a candle

There are clearly a number of issues here:

1. Do teachers "expect" presents? Um... no. Definitely not. Perhaps my experience is different because I am secondary, but I do not, and never have expected gifts. My mum and sister are primary teachers and do get gifts from some parents/children, but it is in no way an expectation. I don't know any teachers (and I know a lot) who expect gifts.

1. Should schools "allow" it? AFAIK, there is nothing in our contracts to say that we cannot accept gifts. I have seen gifts given to teachers at my school when they leave to have a baby, when they have done something over and above (e.g. the PE teachers taking a rugby/netball tour to France in half term, drama teachers getting flowers after a school production)

1. Teachers buying their own resources. Most do. If we don't, then we can't always deliver the lessons we want to. Personally, I see some resources as an investment - I buy lovely books for my classroom, but they have my name in the front, and if/when I move to a new school, I shall take them with me.

1. Other professions getting gifts. When I left hospital after having my twins, we bought gifts for the midwife team. I buy gifts for the people who run the after school club, for the people who run the drama club my children attend, the woman who runs the choir they go to, their piano and flute teachers. We bought a gift for the builder who re-fitted our bathrooms. If you think about it, there are quite a lot. It's not like teachers are going round demanding that they, and no others deserve a gift.

As a teacher I don't expect or particularly want gifts. But I certainly do have to spend my own money on the classroom, that's true - so many strands of the curriculum require resource buying, and yet the school receives so little money for this.

OP, I'd say no to handmade photo frames etc, just because you get so many and they do clutter up the place. The sentiment is lovely but when you work with hundreds of kids, if they all did that you'd be overwhelmed.
Flowers, wine, box of biscuits, stationery, maybe some interesting art supples for the classroom would all be good. Just nothing too expensive as it'd certainly make me uncomfortable and I imagine many other teachers too.
Letters/cards are best, tbh!

I wasn't planning on spending lots of money - certainly not a £200 handbag!!

We are in a fairly affluent area and present giving at Christmas and end of term is the norm. Parents do not go OTT though, I would say the average spend is around £10. Some classes organise collections for vouchers but I prefer not to get involved in those and do my own thing.

I also gave a patchwork bag I'd made to my midwife as she admired mine while I was in labour. And boxes of biscuits and chocolates to hospital staff. I don't think there's anything intrinsically unethical about giving gifts, I hardly think my child will get better treatment because I've given his teacher a bottle of Prosecco and a candle.

Will be buying stationary and stickers I think - and perhaps a large box of biscuits for my secondary school aged child to take to school.

That said I give gifts because everyone else does it and I'm a sheep and also ...what if my son was treated different next year for being the only one not to stump something up.

You don't honestly think any teacher would treat your son any differently because you didn't buy them an end of term present? You must have a fairly low opinion of the teaching profession. No teacher behaves like that.

Mum was a teacher & a cub leader and best gifts for her when working in a school/Cubs was wine, Chococlate or posh biscuits. She never expected gifts but always greatly appreciated especially when she was a single parent as we had stacks of chocolate for Christmas or holiday :) and she had wine :)

She used to get LOTS of bath cubes :) remember those in lilly of the valley or rose - these were re-purposed and went to grandma ;)

I don't have a low opinion of the whole profession but there will be imperfect teachers, who might. I live in a very affluent area. Kids go to a state school. The teachers get tonnes or presents or huge whip round collections. I doubt the teachers do discuss it but not being privy to it I wouldn't know. The issue of gifts in my opinion should be put into contracts, not just of teachers but of all those in the public sector and the third sector. The private sector can make it's own rules. The public sector which provide services for all should be free of scenarios which can potentially lead to preferential treatment of one person over another. Gift giving can definitely give rise to that.

When my working procedures were changed to prevent staff from receiving gifts, I was glad. I did see colleagues accept gifts from vulnerable service users and I hated that they did. A thank you and show of appreciation can absolutely be made without it having go have a monetary value attached to it.

Sorry that was in answer to Purpledaisies.

Just to be clear, I don't have an issue with teachers. My issue is with the practice of giving and receiving gifts in a professional workplace, especially and mainly that in the public sector.