livid with my child's school!!!

[user1457028146]

So for over a month now my oldest child who is 8 years old and usually loves school and refuses to stay home sick has been sent home nearly everyday for vomiting. We have taken him to several doctors... No one knows what is going on with him.... He recently told the doctor he poops blood now and then, so they did a fecal smear test ( if you have had one of these you know it's painful and no child would continue to be sick if they were faking after that)
He also told us his stomach " burns " a lot.. He says he tells his teacher and she tells him he is lying and to sit back down... We have an appointment tomorrow and he will be checked for ulcers ( I'm sure that's what it is) but I'm pissed because this stupid woman could t even be bothered to inform me that my child was making this complaint.... I am currently trying to get in touch with her to ask her myself if he is complaining of a burning sensation yet she won't return my phone calls or emails.... She could have written a note informing me of this. But no... She just tells him he is faking... Now my son hates going to school because his teacher calls him a liar, and refuses to call on him when he is trying to be a good student and raise his hand to answer a question.... I am ready to just home school him!!!

Btw A rectal exam would not be enough to diagnose anything intestinal, a colonoscopy with biopsies sent to pathology would be required.

Again, in children, these are done under GA.

"at the military hospitals provided for the soldiers, sailors and family members; we never see the same physician every time.. Even while pregnant I seen a new OB every single appointment. Yes this is a flaw in our system. We get an appointment with the clinic and they get what ever doctor they get, if you request a specific doctor you'll probably be waiting a month or more to be seen. He has been seen by many different doctors due to this system the military has."

This is exactly the way a private pediatrician or ob/gyn office would work in the US too, unless you were dealing with sole practitioners. My ob/gyn office had at one point six doctors and a few residents came and went too. There were two core partners and several associates who came and went over the years. Who you got to attend during delivery depended on what doctor from the practice was on call when you went to the hospital. They tried to ensure that you would see each doctor at least once during your pre-natal visits. However, two of my DCs were delivered by hospital residents because my doctor on call was doing an emergency caesarian section one time and my baby arrived too fast in the other case - the doctor was still driving to the hospital. Record keeping was digitised and easily transmitted to the hospital. The system is only flawed if records are poorly kept or lost or if doctors are incompetent, but that is not a problem of a system really.

My DCs' pediatrician also has a huge practice (twelve doctors) and there are also pediatrics residents there. We sometimes see an actual doctor (not necessarily the one we are registered with; for some reason they have you register with a specific doctor, probably insurance related) but only for a few minutes during each visit, usually just to double check what a resident has done. This is for sick as well as well-child visits. The care is excellent, especially for the asthma and allergies that two of the DCs have. Again, great record keeping.

You seem to be quite stressed out about 'systems' and very focused on how useless they are.

I would be interested to know how much time you spend explaining procedures to your son, especially simple and painless ones like having BP taken. A child of 8 should be well able to understand a simple explanation.

Surely to goodness clinicians that are able to force a little boy to have a rectal exam would be capable of taking an accurate blood pressure reading, especially if they think there is a chance of a serious emergency.

IPityThePontipines is absolutely correct. Medicine is medicine. There is a protocol and what has been said here simply does not make sense.

Perhaps mathanxiety is correct in that it was a rectal exam.

I think you are angry, frustrated, worried etc and directing it all at the teacher as you don't know where to turn.

Had the same thought by page three choli

To everyone --/. I understand you do not agree with the way they collected the first sample for a fecal smear- yes I did explain to my son what they needed to do, how it's done and that the BP cuff does not hurt. He does not life it squeezing his arm- some kids are weird about certain things- like I already posted his physician believes this is all due to a form of anxiety that has started since starting at this school where he has been bullied( we are going to homeschool him from now on since there is not another school option in the area )
If I take his BP or my mother does he has no problem, at the hospitals his anxiety becomes worse. He has reached the point that his anxiety worsens in public places due to social anxiety--- yes I have already gotten him in to see a behavioral therapist. If you have ever suffered anxiety you will know the flight or fight response is much greater, and dealing with it as a child is much harder than an adult- even his pediatrician pointed out the behavioral difference in the last time he seen him.

Choli- no one has munchausen... Or by proxy--- I have a total of three child two of which never get sick. And only this child has recently developed this puking problem at school only where he has been bullied, left out and even felt left out by his teacher. This is a boy dealing with problems he is not sure how to deal with- my child is in no way abused by anyone. I ask for them to ensure he had NO toxins in him- so your statement is completely null and void. And to ensure he is completely healthy so that we can rule out any physiological issues such as anxiety.

To see how all of you respond when a child is dealing with an issue, and the mother is trying her best to find the answers and becomes frustrated with a school which refuses to communicate about what is going on with said child is quite shocking. To the fact that people automatically try to say oh she must be causing this is quite ridiculous.
Again I got on here to vent my frustrations not be ridiculed by people, and accused of harming my child in which i have been threw hell to protect! You have no idea what I have done to ensure my child's safety- so there for not a single one of you gets to pass judgement on me or my abilities as a mother- like I said before these problems with his health did not develop until he started at this school and people began bullying him- one boy even told him he would come to his home and kill him in his sleep for trying to be friends with that boys best friend--- that is why I'm pissed with the school- they have done nothing to help figure out what is going on and allow things to go on- btw that boy admitted to those threats and did not face disciplinary actions he was only made to apologize!

You should all be ashamed of your selves for assuming such horrible things. And I hope to god none of you ever have to deal with an issue like this from your child and face the same amount of ridicule and judgment you have passed on me...
That being said to everyone who was helpful and not passing judgement I thank you.

All medical issues have been checked for, and he has been deemed physically healthy, and suspected of SEVERE social anxiety by his pediatrician who referred him to a behavioral therapist to help him deal with the anxiety and how to socialize amongst his peers.
I have watched my son go from an extremely happy child to one who lashes out and has no friends- he is embarrassed and finally came out about how left out he feels at school last night. .. I have watched him not know why he feels the way he does, and not feel welcomed by peers. Due to his academic advances like many advanced children he does not quite fit in or know how to with children his age. Where they all are into toys he is into video games, documentaries, trading card games. So of course he may be a little different than kids his age- that's normal when you have a child who prefers to watch a documentary on prehistoric life than watch the hottest new cartoons.

I sincerely hope that all of you who pass judgement instead of help to relieve frustration and have some sort of empathy learn soon how to understand the feelings of other before you pass judgement on things you clearly have no understanding of.

Where are you from originally op

user

I get that you are upset, understandably so, I just think that you are upset with the wrong people.

I'm not surprised this little boy is anxious.

Why are you and your mother taking his blood pressure?

(And yy to Choli)

You and your mother are taking his blood pressure? Why is that?

I do hate seeing these snapshots of abused children and not being able to do anything about it.

Nanetterose- originally Alabama. But raised military all over the US.

Math anxiety- ever have a kids ask how one feels and want you to show them how it works? Don't you think a paramedic may have one laying about? Geese- why else would we do it than to show them how it works? Or for shits and Gits ? My 4 year old has his on stethoscope the doctor gave him... Why is it everything you say seems so judgmental ? As if I have done something wrong to my child? Why don't you read threw the things you have said.... I really hope that isn't how you go after everyone, judging everything as if you are perfect... NEWS FLASH ....your not.

Boneybackjefferson- when someone who is suppose to be and advocate for my child and ensure they are properly cared for in their possession such as a school or sitter fails to communicate any issues other than what makes things difficult for them such as raising his hand in class. I'm bound to get upset and so would any mother. I expect the schools to write a note or call or email me on these issues such as not fitting in with other children, seaming fidgety or upset about something. I am not asking for more than I myself would and have done for others with their children. I just feel it is common sense that if you have a child who is seeming to have belly issues like puking already and he complains of a burning sensation you should go ahead and inform the parents of these complaints when you write a note complaining he shouted out the answer yet again because you refused to call on him.

To everyone freaking about the way the fecal sample was obtained the first time- please keep in mind that you live in a different country ( as I did not know this was a UK app) and that when I take my child to the ER I allow the doctors to do what needs to be done to find out what is wrong and if my child is ok.... Of course he did not like it when it was done but when every other man in the room (3 to be exact) admit to having had the same thing done atleast once in their life and they all hated it too, he did feel a lot better about the ordeal. As I have said this is considered normal in our military hospitals when someone complains of rectal bleeding or pooing blood--- they use a little card to smear the feces on then it is looked at under a microscope- they look to see if there is in fact blood... Our hospital sees over 100000 people just at this one hospital- and on any given night the ER is jam packed, sometimes waiting for a bowel movement is not feasible or possible... I my self have had this done to prove I was in fact bleeding from the anus- they didn't know why until 2 days later when they did the actual rectal exam- I understand this is strange to you that this is how they choose to check- but that's the way it is done in this type of hospital.. Does it suck ? Hell yes! But does it give results quicker? Yes..... So I get it no one likes that this was done, time to move on past that. This has become just entirely ridiculous that people can not get past the way tests are performed differently in a military setting... But as I said not much I can do about that it's been like that for years.. I could complain to the commander and ruin my husbands career but then that would make it harder for my children to get any care without the military pay, and insurance. Some times you just have to suck it up and deal.

A child being triaged for possible emergency GI bleeding would not be given an occult blood test as a diagnostic. Please can anyone else who has knowledge in this area collaborate this statement.

You were given extremely misleading and inaccurate medical advice and your already severely traumatised child was subjected to an unnecessary traumatic procedure that effectively constitutes assault as it was not warranted.

Occult blood tests do not inform emergency GI treatment.

A sample taken later when a bowel movement was spontaneously produced would have been equally as viable and significantly less traumatic and would have also given the advantage of visibly inspecting the blood pattern in the stool - worked in blood versus smeared blood, digested blood, clots, etc. This is information which can inform treatment.

This is so strange

Every second counts- this is on my phone as an app- it tells me when someone responds- I'm not sitting in front of a computer. It goes off and I use word to text to speak into my phone. My phone writes it out. My children are not up my hind end all the time either, my 10 month old is a very quiet baby and doesn't want to be held 24/7 my 4 year old is happy playing with his toys and his 10 month old little brother, and since my 8 year old is not at school near the bullies his anxiety is not an issue at this time, he is painting now that he is done helping to cook dinner ( wants to learn to cook to compete)... Again it's an application on my phone that notifies me of a reply on here.
I have no issues juggling my children and life- it's easy for me to pay attention to multiple things at once. Oh an my husband is home right now

user

The school send him home to you. I really don't know want more you want from them.

Haven't read through but I'd sl for scopes to rule out eosinophil GI disease.
Hooe he's better soon.
A fecal smear test?????? I can guess but never heard of it

Sounds very odd to me, USA or no.

If a GI bleed is suspected, a stool sample could be sent for culture- in a pot usually, no smearing. The smearing on a slide suggests a faecal occult blood test- totally crazy and not used in this situation.

I am confused that OP keeps talking about tests for 'toxins'- that wouldn't even come into a top list of differentials. Testing for coeliac, anaemia, inflammatory bowel disease, yes. Toxins? Nope. Unless they thought you were poisoning him?!

If you are really describing what US care is like, then it'll be even worse than I thought when Jeremy Hunt et al get their way. Your description is shocking.

I don't know why it's in staffroom. I've just asked MN bods to look at it and perhaps move it somewhere more appropriate at the least.

I asked MN to check it out yesterday. I'm stunned it's still here.

Boneybackjefferson- when ask what's going on when these episodes occur they are oblivious to what is going on. The had no knowledge of the one student threatening my son... He has been to other schools more diligent at performing these tasks. In which he had no issues with being bullied or getting sick. When the getting sick first began I ask what types of cleaning chemicals the school janitor uses ( I know he is allergic to ammonia as I am as well and neither of us can breath near it, he will go into a coughing fit an vomit if near any cleaner with ammonia in them) our school have a book in them listing all chemicals used, yet this school denies they have one. ( our laws state they must and that they must provide parents with the information if requested). This school failed to meet that law, the principle answered with " oh I have no idea what the janitors use but I'm sure it's dry by the time students arrive"
Then when ask how he is fitting in no one knows. This school actually has a very low teacher student ration of only 17:1... The teacher should know how he is fitting in with other students over all.
We pay VERY high rent in this county, and it's not for the homes it's because the school district is suppose to be the best school district in the state, and the state has the best schools in the nation making this district fall into the best district in the nation. A two bedroom 1,000 squar ft apt here will run you 15000 US dollars ( not sure what that equates to where you are ) not including utilities ( our electric just to keep it comfortable at 80 degrees was 350 a month ) . The most run down house in the area sold for 100,000 dollars, if that gives you a clue on how much people pay for there children to go to these schools. On top of that we also pay an outrageous amount in what is called school taxes ( I don't know if y'all have them) so we are literally paying for our children to go to what is suppose to be the best schools in the nation, I expect them to be able to properly keep me informed on what is going on with my child. If I lived in a area where I knew the schools were crap I would fully expect this kind of slacked behavior from the staff, but not in a community where they are praised so highly on how wonderful the education system is suppose to be. Especially when they know there is already something going on that we are trying to find out what the issue is and what the reason for the ailment is.
Not to mention that a young child should never feel left out by a teacher, that is just un called for. There complete lack of willingness to communicate until I contacted the head of the school board is just ridiculous. Answers to what is going on with a child is more important than them being afraid they may in some way get into trouble....

Helensburgh- since the vomiting incidents are only happening at school his pediatrician believes this is due to a form a social anxiety brought on by the bullying he has recently faced at this new school. He has not vomited in 5 days now ( since he was last at school) his pediatrician thinks it would benefit him to be homeschooled as well as see a behavioral therapist so that he can learn to cope with this social anxiety. All blood work and fecal work has come back perfect.

Dumbbell - I ask for the toxins test to be run because while at school I have no way to monitor what he has come into contact with. And the puking was only happening at school. They had already run a full blood work up on him and seen nothing in his blood work suggesting anemia or anything else you had described- also the fecal tests came back negative for blood ( my son said he had seen blood in his poo: physician thinks he may have mistaken red food die from food as blood )

Maybe they have not moved this from the staff room because it is a complaint about the staff at a school? I honestly could not find a option that best fit my frustrations with this school being so unwilling to give me information pertaining to my child's experiences at their school.

OP the staffroom topic is (as I understand) an area for teachers to chat to each other, so it is a bit of an odd place for this thread. I'd have thought either primary education or children's health would be logical places for MN to move the thread to (I know the OP is a new poster so no blame on her for not figuring out the best topic).