livid with my child's school!!!

[user1457028146]

So for over a month now my oldest child who is 8 years old and usually loves school and refuses to stay home sick has been sent home nearly everyday for vomiting. We have taken him to several doctors... No one knows what is going on with him.... He recently told the doctor he poops blood now and then, so they did a fecal smear test ( if you have had one of these you know it's painful and no child would continue to be sick if they were faking after that)
He also told us his stomach " burns " a lot.. He says he tells his teacher and she tells him he is lying and to sit back down... We have an appointment tomorrow and he will be checked for ulcers ( I'm sure that's what it is) but I'm pissed because this stupid woman could t even be bothered to inform me that my child was making this complaint.... I am currently trying to get in touch with her to ask her myself if he is complaining of a burning sensation yet she won't return my phone calls or emails.... She could have written a note informing me of this. But no... She just tells him he is faking... Now my son hates going to school because his teacher calls him a liar, and refuses to call on him when he is trying to be a good student and raise his hand to answer a question.... I am ready to just home school him!!!

[bialystockandbloom]

My word OP you have been unfairly roasted on this thread! Can't understand why your first post got so picked apart by pp who clearly hadn't bothered to read it properly, and why you're being interrogated like this

Anyway. Basically you just need to know whether your ds is reporting burning pains at school, and teacher is refusing to return your calls etc?

Do you take him/pick him up? Can you (or whoever takes him if not you) ask her directly face to face?

[user1457028146]

Bialystokandbloom- I had to pick him up yet again today. They refused to let me speak with the teacher and said she was in class. Which before had not been a problem until I told the school I wanted to know if what he is saying is true about it hurting everyday and being told he is lying or faking or whatever she is saying. Up until now I have always been able to go to his class speak with his teacher and help gather his things. As of now it's like they are scared to admit she was ignoring his cries of pain ( which he does cry when that burning sensation happens)

[bialystockandbloom]

Sorry x-posted. Just seen that about teacher being instructed not to talk to you. Wtf?

[user1457028146]

Pukkapine- as you can tell there are many responses and I'm sorry if I didn't reply to yours with your name. I have looked up both of those and will mention it. Although he has never had an issue with getting sick prior to this.

[mathanxiety]

OP, I think you should cut the teacher a bit of slack. It is stressful to have a child throw up in the classroom and to have him do it repeatedly is very wearying. I know he can't help it and she probably knows it too, but it is possible she is stressed out by the constant vomiting too.

If you are serious about assaulting the teacher then you need to start getting a hold of yourself with deep breathing or some other form of self calming.

Please do not go to the doctors telling them you have figured out what the problem is. You are going to jeopardise your son's treatment if you rub the doctors up the wrong way. (And please consider finding a pediatrician off base).

For what it's worth, ulcers are rare in children. The blood in the vomit might be as a result of a tear or fissure in his esophagus from all the vomiting, not because of an ulcer. Hepatitis is another possibility, or overuse of tylenol/acetaminophen. Crohns and coeliac disease should be tested for.

A rectal exam is often performed to rule out GI bleeding when there is blood in the stool -- are you sure he had a fecal smear? Because there is a difference between a fecal smear and a rectal exam and only one requires penetration of the rectum.

[pukkapine]

neither did DS, apart from being a 'happy chucker' as a baby. They came on overnight. Literally one day he didn't have them, then 6 weeks from hell.

[ravenAK]

That would be fairly SOP if OP rants & makes threats - senior management will have instructed teacher not to engage with this particular parent, so all interaction is managed by someone on a higher pay grade (& documented).

Although I note that OP says she manages to 'hold her composure' when dealing with the school in person, she does seem to be making this teacher the focus for her frustration - most schools would flag that up & manage the situation with that in mind.

[mathanxiety]

You are free to choose a pediatrician off base. You would have to pay yourself and not claim on your military coverage.

It seems to me that the school has picked up your level of frustration and suspects you are hostile enough to sue them, verbal judo or no verbal judo. You have obviously come across as a lot more angry with them than you yourself can see. They will not let you communicate with the teacher any more. So forget that avenue and do some math yourself.

In addition to the liability issue, there is the matter of security. If this is a base school then they are very security conscious and will not allow you to confront the teacher personally. If this is a school near a base then likewise, they will worry that you will go postal.

[user1457028146]

Mathanxiety- yes they did the smear test I watched them put the feces on the little card.. I was right there holding his baby brother in one arm and him in the other. ( baby is sick with a cold).. They have checked him for all forms of hep in his blood tests. As well as toxins like lead and others that could cause this.

Do I want to knock some sense in to this woman? Hell yes... Will I ? Obviously not. Jail just doesn't sound fun, nor could I care for him from jail.

No I have not been rude in any way to his teacher, nor anyone at that school. I've explained to them that I just want to know how often he is complaining-

This is the exact email I sent the teacher... It is not confrontational.

[starry0ne]

I can see why you are worried about your DS..

However if he is vomiting daily at school..Keep him off till it is sorted..As his teacher is a glorified babysitter...Can't you homeschool him..

You do have a poorly child but you are blaming the wrong person.

[user1457028146]

Starryone- the school has already sent one letter home that I will be taken to court if he misses any more school without a doctors note. The physicians all say he is fine to be at school since it is not contagious like his note from the doctor said he could go back today yet the school said no... Because they have a 24 hour rule. Yet it won't be excused. So I will end up in true cry court with all the documentation over this.
My husband am I are currently considering homeschooling. And we're considering it before they stopped communicating. Since he is being sent home every day he goes anyway and not allowed to return until over 24 hours later.

[eyebrowse]

I know someone whose ds is having some similar problems and was being fobbed of by gp etc. Could it be a food intolerance that has developed (e.g. coeliac, dairy) or an intestinal parasite e.g. Giardia which you can catch from water or swimming.

Schools are under a lot of pressure with absences since Gove so I would not blame the school

[starry0ne]

I think I would still try and get doctors note .. keep him off for a week see if diet wise you can settle it down ..

My friends DS has gone through very similar to you recently ..Was convinced it was an ulcer and was put on ranitadine he improved dramatically in 2-3 days...Can they not try some medication if everyone thinks it is an ulcer...

Realise different country and procedures.

[user1457028146]

They will probably put him on meds tomorrow once he sees the pediatrician- he actually got the good one ! I've known this man since my oldest was born and somehow by chance we got stationed at the same base again lol he is a good doctor. And I'm sure will have it all sorted out rather quickly. And will even right a note to excuse the past absent days as well ( he did this in the past when the same son had bronchitis )

They will be testing for a bacteria tomorrow that causes an infection that eats the protective lining in the stomach causing ulcers. ( you get it from drinking unclean water which will happen when you are always fishing and swimming at lakes and ponds and the ocean like we do. )

At our hospital , with children they treat the symptoms until they know for a fact what the problem is. They won't prescribe anything other than meds to keep him from vomiting until they know why. He also doesn't take any form of pain relieving medicines. Maybe a ibuprofen if he gets hurt or has a head ache, but they said that's not enough to cause it.

[Scone1nSixtySeconds]

Has he had a test for diabetes OP?

It must be very scary for you both having him poorly like this - but it was one of the symptoms my son had before his diagnosis with type 1. It just needs a urine dip test, so no invasive testing needed.

[user1457028146]

Scone 1- not recently unless they can see that in a full blood count. Or evidence of it.

[bumblebee1234]

You could send your son to internet school my daughter goes to one. She does all the same lessons that she would have done at school. Most importantly they can put in a year that is appropriate to his level rather than age. Something to think about because I wouldn't put up with that. They could ruin your child's self esteem and confidence. They are taking you to court for having him at home I'd take them to court for neglect.

[BertrandRussell]

I can't understand why you're livid with the school, not the doctors.

[BertrandRussell]

I just can't get past this stool sample thing. It can't possibly be right- it just can't. It sounds more like assault than anything else........

[user1457028146]

Bertandrussell- the doctors are doing what they can with what they have... The burning sensation in my sons stomach is a BIG symptom that this teacher should have informed me off. It can't be left to a 8 year old who refuses to stay home sick even if he can't hardly move to inform people of a symptom. And to ignore it and tell him he is faking is just BS... I don't care if she believes him or not she can atleast inform me he is claiming it hurts. It's not her place to decide what is clinically relevant. That is why I am furious with the school, and now they refuse to tell me how often this is happening all to save their own butts so they don't end up sued for neglect. The doctors can only do so much when they are missing a piece of the puzzle.

[Scone1nSixtySeconds]

Ok, blood tests don't look for diabetes as it is diagnosed with a urine test and then a very specific blood test to look for antibodies (as it's an autoimmune disease in children).

I would definitely ask for a test in order to rule it out - looking back my ds was often sick/had stomach cramps as his blood sugar raised in an uncontrolled manner. He also gets dark rings under his eyes.

Hope you get some answers soon - it's so scary when they are poorly and you feel helpless.

[user1457028146]

Bertandrussell- I'm sure my son would agree with you on that lmao but yes I've had it done before. This is just how our military hospitals get the sample. If they go to do it again I'll have him sedated. But I won't stop them from running a medically necessary test.

[abbsismyhero]

home school him i understand its very common in america?

my son had similar symptoms and was prescribed adult strength gaviscon it was a magic bullet for him really made him better the school however have a huge problem with it and insisted he was taken off the medication because the safety officer thought he was being abused so he now puts up with the pain again fortunately its not as bad now but he still is in regular pain so i give him the medication at home and caution him not to tell the school this does not go down well at the school and im accused of forcing my children to keep secrets from them they are threatening me with ss again unless my son becomes more forthcoming about his home life

he claims they don't ask him about his home life

im trying to move

[user1457028146]

Scone- I will definitely ask for them to test that as well. He does also have the rings under his eyes. ( always has had them) so never really thought about those being significant. He has allergies as well so most of the physicians have always figured the dark circles are from his allergies.

[user1457028146]

Oh wow Absismyhero- that's horrible. Homeschooling is common here especially the way our school systems are. Schools here are more likely to force a parent to have a child put on medication than to keep them off it. If a child is bored for instance they try to say he has ADHD instead of " he is a little boy and bored "... I'm sorry you have to deal with that. At this point I don't think my sons school even cares what he is on as long as he isn't puking any more all over the class lol