livid with my child's school!!!

[user1457028146]

So for over a month now my oldest child who is 8 years old and usually loves school and refuses to stay home sick has been sent home nearly everyday for vomiting. We have taken him to several doctors... No one knows what is going on with him.... He recently told the doctor he poops blood now and then, so they did a fecal smear test ( if you have had one of these you know it's painful and no child would continue to be sick if they were faking after that)
He also told us his stomach " burns " a lot.. He says he tells his teacher and she tells him he is lying and to sit back down... We have an appointment tomorrow and he will be checked for ulcers ( I'm sure that's what it is) but I'm pissed because this stupid woman could t even be bothered to inform me that my child was making this complaint.... I am currently trying to get in touch with her to ask her myself if he is complaining of a burning sensation yet she won't return my phone calls or emails.... She could have written a note informing me of this. But no... She just tells him he is faking... Now my son hates going to school because his teacher calls him a liar, and refuses to call on him when he is trying to be a good student and raise his hand to answer a question.... I am ready to just home school him!!!

If he's been to multiple doctors and they can't find anything wrong. How can random mostly untrained people on the internet and a teacher provide the answers you want. You getting so stressed out is not helping your DS. Hope it gets sorted out soon.

That's why we ( my husband, myself , and the doctors at the ER ) are all thinking its ulcers- he fits he description of ulcers to a T.
My biggest issue is that had these idiots not left out details because they didn't seem to be important.... He wouldn't have been going threw this so long. It would have been figured out sooner. If that teacher can write a note because he didn't wait to be called on, she can write a note for excessive belly pains.

Vivian- it's called venting... I didn't ask anyone what they thought was wrong. I've pretty much figured out what is wrong. I'm venting... That way I don't go up there to the school and grab that teacher by the hair of her head and explain to her in detail how it's not her place to decide what pains are relevant and what is not, and how she is nothing than a glorified babysitter to a child who is only 8 and can read at a Jr high level ( no I am not exaggerating he has been tested and is in gifted and talented for reading writing and doing math several grade levels ahead )

okaaaaaaaay....

I think I wasted my time trying to help...

You really are on your high horse about the school and the school system and the school meals here. Please stop and focus on your son. It isn't the school's fault that nobody has answers yet for your son's illness. There are several separate issues here. The most pressing one is your son's health.

I appreciate that you want to be able to tell a doctor how frequently your son complains of the burning sensation, but between your son and the teacher, it is likely that you are never going to get a straight answer to this. If he has been sent home every day he has been in school then perhaps you can take it as read that he has had the burning sensation every day in school. You know yourself that he gets it if he doesn't eat for a while. You also know they don't have a snack in school. So I would assume he feels the burning sensation every day he is in school.

You mentioned one visit to one doctor at a military base. You mentioned four doctors who agreed his asthma wasn't the cause of this. You mentioned other doctors, and hospitals, who give him shots or take blood.

How many doctors has he seen in his life and why isn't he under the care of one pediatrician at a time?

Crikey.

Actually, the only time a parent ever took a swing at me (am a teacher) she was also very convinced her child was extremely gifted.

Mind you, she was also very very drunk & had previously been banned from the premises.

Poor kid.

Mathanxiety- at the military hospitals provided for the soldiers, sailors and family members; we never see the same physician every time.. Even while pregnant I seen a new OB every single appointment. Yes this is a flaw in our system. We get an appointment with the clinic and they get what ever doctor they get, if you request a specific doctor you'll probably be waiting a month or more to be seen. He has been seen by many different doctors due to this system the military has. We have also taken him to a children hospital ER near by when he vomited blood at school. ( coffee ground color)....
See we wait to be seen and then have to play go around go around to get the tests done- active duty members get everything done quicker as well, appointments and tests, family members take a back seat and are seen as less important.... I have actually been told by a doctor at one army base that if I didn't like his was of doing a fecal smear test I could bleed out in a ditch that I wasn't as important as the soldiers.... ( I had severe rectal bleeding from pushing too hard during labor.. They found out later it was a fisher) just part of being a military family at the bases.

You need to calm down, a lot, and focus on one thing at a time.

It doesn't matter that you think your son is spinning his wheels in class and the teacher is useless. If you go to the school with the same approach you have taken here, getting all sorts of issues all mixed up, and your focus all over the place, they are going to think you are nuts.

It doesn't matter at all right now that his reading and math are at junior high level, or that the teacher doesn't call on him.

Your child's future school career has not been ruined by this one experience. That is, unless he gets wind of how wound up you are by all of this and decides his only course is to hate school.

Is that how he hates doctors and hospitals? Do you get angry about them and about all the tests, and does he therefore have anxiety or no confidence in the medical staff?

All children get shots and many get blood drawn. They get over themselves and live to tell the tale, mainly because their parents take a sensible approach to dealing with the children's anxiety about all of that. Even children with allergies and who may have done allergy testing or allergy shots, or with asthma, who are in and out of the doctor's a lot get relatively comfortable with visits.

Talk to the head teacher and ask him wether there could be allowances for him to eat at school because of his ulcers. My partner likes hot pepper sauce I know how hot it is what possessed you to give it to him. Did he want to be like daddy.

That way I don't go up there to the school and grab that teacher by the hair of her head and explain to her in detail how it's not her place to decide what pains are relevant and what is not, and how she is nothing than a glorified babysitter to a child who is only 8 and can read at a Jr high level

With that level of respect, I'm surprised that you bother with school.

The teacher can't do nothing you have to go higher where it can be authorised. You can not blame the teacher you will not get no support then.

RavenAK--- It's not a claim when the school along with the other two schools he has been in invited him to be in the gifted program. I never asked for him to be tested.. THEY wanted him in the gifted program, and also give him 4 grade work pages to keep him busy.... I'm sorry that mom was a drunk and was going to hit you but again that's why I'm venting... To avoid that. Because when it comes to my children I am protective as all hell. Lol but I'm a no and I'm suppose to be.

You need to investigate the cost of a pediatrician for your son outside of the Army system. I had no insurance at one point (I am in the US) and it cost quite a bit for my children to get state-mandated shots and emergency visits with asthma and allergies, but you can negotiate rates with most pediatricians, labs and other service providers, and pay off bills monthly.

If that's the attitude you have, I am unsurprised that the teachers don't seem to care as much as you think they should. People do pick up on attitudes and subconsciously alter their behaviour.

To all those asking about the hot sauce -- it is not at all unusual in the US to let children have hot pepper sauce. It is an integral part of hispanic and tex mex cuisine, and many children would not think twice about consuming it.

Mathanxiety- he has insurance threw the military, unless he is referred out he can't go to another pediatrician, and since he has full coverage with no co pays he can't be seen at free clinics or low cost clinics..

Oh she had her issues, OP. I didn't take it personally!

But it didn't get her where she wanted to be or her ds where he needed to be.

Basically, calm your tits. You aren't doing yourself or ds any favours with the name calling & threats.

I can totally understand why you are so angry and needing to vent, my ds was the same age as yours when he started having gastric problems, acid, vomiting back small amounts of meals, constant diarrhoea, sometimes with blood present and at the same time his growth completely stalled. He was under a paediatrician anyway, as he has ASD and was going through the assessment process for that and the gastric issues were checked to try and ascertain if they were anxiety related or something physical.

With all this going on his teacher failed to inform us that he had brought back small amounts of his lunch on several occasions. At that time he wasn't capable of recounting his day (he has sequencing issues) so getting information from him about what happened during his school day wasn't easy at all.

The information eventually came out when the paediatrician and dietician agreed that we should eliminate gluten from his diet and we informed the school. The teacher had to ask me what he could have as an alternative when they were doing multi-cultural food tasting as a class activity and just dropped it into the conversation that he'd been vomiting small amounts at school for a while.

Obviously I was angry, but like you chose to vent elsewhere, as ranting a the teacher would be pointless and just cause even more problems.

Essentially my ds' gastric issues were sorted out in spite of the missing information from school. It might have speeded things up had we known he was vomiting more than we believed, but not by much.

It does sound like the military hospitals are only really geared up for treating adults. Is there any chance you could go off base to access more specific paediatric care, as they would be far more sensitive in their handling of him?

raven your post is so condescending and not at all helpful IMO.

I find this a very odd thread. Your son obviously has some sort of chronic condition but you are obsessing about his teacher and the school? Put your energies into helping him through this horrible time.

Raven just because that's how I feel about this woman and choose to express myself on here doesn't mean I don't hold my composure while dealing with the schools and their employees. I am usually very respectful and calm while dealing with them. And have bit my tongue on numerous occasions dealing with them.. I do not cuss at them or threat while talking with them, and use verbal judo ( way of calming a conversation using different verbal and body language) I'm not dumb enough to be a bitch to them because that will get me absolutely no where..... Again I'm venting. A way to get out the anger and frustration without taking it out on them for refusing to talk to me... I have just gotten off the phone with the principle who says they have instructed the teacher not to speak with me about her ignoring the pains due to liability issues ( here we can sue for that) even though I have not even mentioned it... Nor would I even think of it if they would just tell me how often he is complaining but hell right now during the pants off them seems like a great idea lmao

Cross posted re the medical insurance/cover via the military.

Are you literally constrained by your insurance to not pay for an external consult yourself if you're not happy with the outcome of the military hospital's investigations? I don't know much about US health insurance, but based on the UK private healthcare system, I can see how they might do something like refuse to cover something for which the patient has been seen elsewhere.

I am invisible.

AM's and CVS are a worthwhile, and relatively easy and NON-INVASIVE, thing to eliminate. Also can be linked with diarrhea (DS has had this since babyhood).

But you clearly don't want help or advice. You want to rant about some poor teacher and boast about how amazingly advanced your son is.

So's mine. It has nothing to do with his gastric issues except for the fact it's likely linked to his ASD. Take away the ASD and give me a 10 year old who can't do A Level maths please, or the AM's, I'd settle for either. It's of zero relevance to his current issue.

Moosemama- unless they suspect an issue that is unable to be treated at a military faculty with referral from his doctor no they will not cover him going to a different doctor. I was recently sent to oncology for a cancer scare , I didn't even get to pick the oncology center. I had to go to the one they wanted me to go to. Even though it was a civilian oncology center I still had to go to the one the military would pay for.