Do parents thank you after residentials?

[DoctorLawn]

I've been thinking about this, since returning from a residential last Friday.

Three parents thanked me.

I'm not expecting all out gratitude, but I was quite taken aback by our return in general. They all stood in the path to the main school entrance, two parents and a childminder helped us get the luggage off the coach while the rest watched, and nobody moved aside without being asked.

It's a very upper middle class school - wondering if that means the parents are much more 'entitled' feeling than others?

Oops, just re-read the OP and sorry, she is a teacher, returning from a trip. But even so, I don't think she was chucking her toys out of the pram about it, just idly observing.

clam but I do thank people in general. I believe in being thankful. My response was in regard to this specific situation and why thanks might not be immediately forthcoming. I don't rate being insincere, it is very difficult and just complicates matters.

I agree. I can understand a tiny minority of people who have Mr Squeers as their child's teacher, and who are forced on pain of social ostracization to sent their child on a trip where they will suffer a week of ritual humiliation not wanting to thank the teacher (although I would just not send the child on the trip if I was really unhappy with it). But for the overwhelming majority it's not like that. And the trips are hard work above and beyond the call of duty for most teachers, and saying "thank you" isn't going to crack your face, as my grandmother used to say.

Well, you clearly have an issue with your dc's school, which muddies the waters of this thread a bit.

Hak how do you know my experiences and views are only representative of a 'tiny minority'? Talk about minimisation...

clam do the schools, within your experience, make it clear residentials are optional and openly state the alternative activities on offer, for those not going on the trip? Or do they state they would like everyone to go and suggest no alternative?

All irrelevant though you still thank the staff if you have any manners or social graces at all can't believe this is up for debate!

Capsium, I don't know. But since you insist on cloak and dagger, and state that more details will out you, I can only assume that your experience is not universal.....

Well, of course they make it clear they would like everyone to go! How could they do otherwise? It's called 'inclusion.'
The benefits of the trip are explained and promoted, yes, and anyone who doesn't want to go, might be invited in for a chat (and I do mean a pleasant, non-threatening chat) to see if there might be financial/practical reasons that the school could help with. If a parent still maintained that they really didn't want their child to go, and the child felt the same, then that would be that, although the opportunity would remain open if they were to change their mind at a later date.
We have never taken a child away who didn't have a great time overall, and it benefits no one to force someone to go against their will. What you are relating, capsium is beyond my experience.

I used to run trips to Berlin for years 10/11......after one trip not one parent or child said thank you when we got back.

The next day, three lots of parents rang to complain about the food their children had been given though!

I can't believe that a basic "thanks so much" isn't extended to staff. Isn't that common courtesy? I would always do so - even if the trip is late back.

I used to do volunteer work and most parents did thank me - it takes 2 seconds of time. Why on earth wouldn't they?

clam Well I don't think it is full inclusion to actively promote a residential trip, by stating the school would like everyone to go. This does not include those children who do not feel ready to go on such a trip. To be more inclusive the school would put less pressure on, not quite so actively promote the trip. They could say they would like everyone that wants to go, to go, which would be more inclusive (and reassure those that will not be going that there is something lovely for them to do instead.)

And I really do wonder if this is beyond your experience clam, or whether the children and parents succumb to peer pressure and put a brave face on...which you may not realize.

OP here - just to clarify, was initially just wondering if thanks after a residential trip were normally thin on the ground, or whether I noticed the lack because of my own tendency to thank a lot. I tried very hard not to come across as a whinger, because there are some things in education that I really would like to throw my toys out of the pram over! This is not really one of them.

I do agree it is part of my job to research, organise and undertake residential trips, however, I do think that as I would thank someone who would have my child to tea, I would certainly thank anyone who cared for him for an extended period of time.

Like I said earlier, thank yous are free

I honestly don't see how saying they would like everyone to go is "pressurising". They presumably would like everyone to go!

I would always thank the staff, and my DCs would do the same. It is just good manners, and that is important to me.

I am a teacher - took 20 students abroad for 2 weeks and only received 1 thank you even though it was the trip of a lifetime (for them, for me, not so much)....

Hak It is pressurising, because it is not accepting of any difference between children in readiness to go. The school are expressing preference. A school should not want every child to go, if every child does not want to go (in terms of readiness). Not all children develop at the same rate.

As I have previously said, I believe a school should, openly, state that every child is been given the opportunity to go, but it is not compulsory and reassure that there will be enjoyable and meaningful activities available for those not going. This would then be completely without pressure.

And if the residentials are that brilliant they should not need the 'hard sell'...

Ah, well, I like my children's schools to encourage them out of their comfort zones. I also think that children are often readier than their parents are, or than their parents think they are. And I also think that going on a residential trip, being a bit unsure and having to get on with it is not the worst thing that can happen to a child.

Hak You'll appreciate there is balance to be had though. I too, want schools to encourage my DC out of their comfort zones, but with sensitivity because going in too heavy handed can be counter productive, at best, damaging at worst. So the best solution as far as I can see would be to sell the trip simply on it's merits but apply no additional pressure.

Do you like the same treatment as you advocate yourself Hak? I'm imagining that you have climbed every rock face, surfed every massive wave, done every adrenaline fueled extreme sport going as well as risked life and limb for others on a regular basis here...to completely comfortable hold such a view.

You obviously have a personal axe to grind on the subject- so I'll bow out now.

I do find the thought that people wouldn't say thank you and get their children to say thank you depressing. But I am often out of step when it comes to good manners. Or what I consider to be good manners.

"Do you like the same treatment as you advocate yourself Hak? I'm imagining that you have climbed every rock face, surfed every massive wave, done every adrenaline fueled extreme sport going as well as risked life and limb for others on a regular basis here...to completely comfortable hold such a view."

Oh, that is just silly. But yes, if I was apprehensive about doing something new, I would want people to encourage me to do it, rather than instantly say "Don't do it then, that's fine"