has anyone experienced a perfectly FINE kid becoming a 'thing' at school?

[Lordnoobson]

normally (IME) as a result of the parents?
Does anyone find that sometimes involvement of agencies makes things worse and if they just chivvied the kid along and ignored them and their parents a bit and told the parent to stop making up ridiculous syndromes the kid would actually be FINE?

Please PLEASE tell me OP is not a teacher!!!!

Woefully ignorant.

Appalling.

Yes I'm afraid she definitely is

I have had the he is fine in school talk twice this week. He is most definitely not fine, he has a disability, diagnosed by the NHS. A disability protected by the Equalities Act. I will be reminding school of that fact shortly.

Also a teacher and parent to a child with a disability.

IMO schools are happy if they are not getting any grief so a child with SN who does not kick off is not a problem
A child who holds it together in the day then explodes at home is also fine
I hope you are not a teacher op or there is no hope

And you know a diagnosis is not easy to get. My ds struggled all through school and was 15 before he got diagnosed aspergers because he wasn't a problem to the teachers
He was crippled with anxiety but that didnt matter because he didn't make their lives harder

I am the poster that Blanklook linked to.

One poster once said, something like:
School only re-act if it causes a problem to them.

So true.

If a child with ADHD was so disruptive in class that teacher couldn't teach, school action.

But if an AS child achieves in school, and then wishes to die at home, why would school care? Where's the problem, to them?

You're right namechanger.
I've read your shocking thread.
Ds2 doesn't give anything away at school then comes home and explodes.
It's more common than people realise I think.

Ds struggled to go to school three times this week (meltdowns, sobbing, crippled with anxiety), yet the HT happily told me that he was coping much better this term . Oh yes, he's really coping well

I work as an autism support person and sadly I have this same conversation over and over again in schools. They just don't get that when children appear 'fine' in school and then melt down at home that isn't always because the parents are shit parents who can't control their kids (the inevitable conclusion drawn by school) but is actually a well known manifestation of high functioing autism that school can ameliorate significantly if they listen and work t make changes in school to reduce the child's stress. I always find it massively ironic that when it is the other way round - the child is 'fine' at home and has meltdowns at school - this is NEVER because the school is poor at managing them (the logical opposite position) but is again usually the parents' fault because they let the child do whatever they want at home and don't put in any boundaries.

Funnily enough I have a kid with anxiety-based SEN and depsite knowing the system inside out I have to fight for every bit of support he gets. Every review they show me his impressive test scores as proof of how well he's doing, and every review I say AGAIN 'Yes, we know he is bright, academics are not the problem. The issue is his communication and anxiety'. It drives me bloody insane. BTW he is both 'aspergic' and 'autistic', funny that eh? What an expert the OP is in the autism spectrum.

Unashamedly bumping - I'll stop when children with SN and their families don't have to put up with this kind of attitude any more.

For all the children that suffer the 'just a word' (illegal) exclusions, permanent exclusions, segregation from their peers (inclusion?) and the months that add up to years of waiting at home for the next school that probably doesn't want them at all.

My son is fine now but some teachers and their actions nearly destroyed him, nearly destroyed us.

I will never forget that and you shouldn't either....

Would you like to read my post from yesterday and my previous posts about ds1. He is fine at school and academically able and it was all due to my parenting.

Paediatrician says he is high functioning asd, dyspraxic, hypermobile, adhd and on the waiting list now for OT and PT. When we had his hearing tested over the summer he is over hearing and his paperwork from the paid suggest SPD too. STILL I am having to fight for everything, because he is "fine".