has anyone experienced a perfectly FINE kid becoming a 'thing' at school?

[Lordnoobson]

normally (IME) as a result of the parents?
Does anyone find that sometimes involvement of agencies makes things worse and if they just chivvied the kid along and ignored them and their parents a bit and told the parent to stop making up ridiculous syndromes the kid would actually be FINE?

It was laughed about in the staffroom and the mother mocked
unfortunately not that unusual though

^^This is the problem and one of many that parents of children with 'hidden disabilities' have to deal with. Many of us have been forced by LAs to send our dc to schools who clearly don't want them there and we get laughed about too for the pleasure. Before they get permanently excluded again. Great..

Unfortunately I don't think this thread will change any teacher's thinking but we have to thank Lordnoobson for putting it up really so at least it can serve as a little reminder from time to time.

Oh god!! I had a meeting with the schools SENCO today re her struggling due to ?dyslexia and talked about private testing. Hate the thought of being mocked :-( although she was lovely. I shouldn't have made the appointment I should have just waited until they screen her next year. They already think I'm over anxious, I sealed the deal now!!

No, don't worry, Toomuchconfusion. Most SENCOs and indeed most school staff I've met (sadly not quite all, but most) will be on your side.

I'm hoping the OP has had a rethink and seen that she just might have been overconfident in her diagnostic ability after reading this thread.

Please don't think that thereistoomuchconfusion, as a teacher I have never heard teachers mocking parents or students over any kind of diagnosis, private or otherwise, just been sent lots of helpful informationby our SEND team about how best to support students. Sadly from this thread it sounds uncommon, but I wanted to reassure you that not all schools are like this.

The SENCO at my DCs school only had one of my DC on her list because I requested it - she is bad enough to get extra time in exams, she had to "fail" a number of tests to prove she needed that time.
Thereistoomuchconfusion - going in and asking for help for our children is the only way they are going to get it.

Ooh dishwasher, that book looks brilliant I'm going to buy it.

I'm one of these parents too. DS has been having difficulties at school since year 7, now started year 9 and we've only just managed to get the referral needed for autism tests.

What a shit thread.

Maybe youre in the wrong profession

It is a shit thread indeed and has me wondering if the OP is a PE teacher, or MFL. They were the two groups that we had the most difficulty with in secondary, with everything from reasonable accommodations to sheer pig-headedness.
But yes, OP. You can often bully and intimidate a child into compliance and silence if you think that SN is 'a thing' and you don't go in for that sort of nonsense.
Unfortunately it continues to happen in numerous schools.

Unfortunately some parents may not be as confident and 'pushy' or loud as others so their children slip through the net. Why go into teaching when you cleary dont give two fucks!??

What a fishy thread

It doesn't matter what you name change to OP, your stir it up for the lolz posts always give you away.

Interestingly I am in the same situation as the OP.

My child is 'fine' at school, except he isn't and the school are both mocking me both to my face and in emails telling me he IS fine AND insisting I have a home visit from professionals behaviourists as it is the only way forward !

Ironically the behaviourist has already told the school and I that the trigger is school not parents and as we are already parenting correctly she can do nothing and yet the school still insist they don't need help with my son. :(

But as he is quiet and sad, he is easy to overlook. His sucide threats (at barely 6yo) are on the way to school, therefore caused by me and nothing to do with school, says school.

Bet you work in my school or your sister does....don't worry I will probably be forced to take my 'fine' child out of school if things get any worse. So you/your sister will never see the eventual harm that disbelief and mocking does to a struggling family with a child with additional needs.

I am truly sorry people have to go through this, I know many who have, and, interestingly, no one with munchausens by proxy.

Sorry you have to read this tripe as well.

And it would be Munchausens By Proxy not Munchausens or the semi Munchausens you just made up. Which is strange considering what the thread is about.

Babies, ignoring the weird and goady OP (I think we've all given up trying to make him/her see the error of their ways), have you any idea what's causing your son's reaction to school? Did the behaviorist have any suggestions for what school could do about it? Would be useful info for a better school, at least.

Maybe the SN boards on MN could help(if you haven't already tried that)?

Babies check if your LA has a crisis/emergency line for Ed Psychs, some do. If they do, give them a call and pour your heart out. Be totally honest about how bad it is and don't worry if you end up crying.

We've been through the loop of CAMHS refusing to see ds because all his anxieties are caused by school and the school refusing to do anything to help because they insist they don't see a problem (amazing what a huge pair of SEN blinkers can do ). It's heartbreaking. Ds's paed is the head of the ASD assessment unit and carries quite a lot of sway but even he couldn't get either CAMHS or the school to help.

In the end we had to coast ds through the last year of primary, supporting him as much as we could and doing whatever it took to get him through (he insists he wants to go (rules/routines) even when school is seriously distressing for him, so we couldn't pull him out). We did things like planned lots of trips to his favourite places for him to look forward to and help him focus on weekends rather than the week, pulled him out for 'mental health days' (and even weeks) whenever we felt it was necessary (his outreach teacher agreed this was totally necessary and advisable) and gave him lots of time and space at home to do the things that destress him (computers mainly).

I am moving forward slowly

We will be travelling the slow scenic route.

The behaviourist ONLY suggestion is Triple P positive parenting...which does not work for DS.

Her sticker chart had DS treating to throw himself under a car, so he would die and not be able to go to school.

She is a nice lady but is employed by the school. She has told me on the phone that she can't help me, there is nothing wrong with DS and I should listen to Senco especially now the school have an ASD unit.

So all I am expecting from home visit is stress. As I hate strangers being in my home, especially ones that are only coming to tick boxes, not to help.

treating threatening

If he is trying to kill himself - whatever reason then you need to get an urgent referral to CAMHS - go and see your GP.
Their help is variable but they might see different things to anything connected with the school. (And should give you emergency contact numbers incase he tries anything again - at the very least.)

He is only threatening, I don't think he will do it. Mainly as he refuses to be on his own ever. We take him to the toilet as he will wet himself otherwise and he refuses to sleep in his own room...he shares with his sisters.

Thread about a school disputing a dx of AS and suggesting the mother has MBP. Very coincidental.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/2194505-School-have-disputed-ASD-diagnosis

And here is a perfect example of the arrogance I have been seeing in teachers lately!!!

Yeah DD is "fine" at school She is a girl and society has taught her to conform. Except her issues (NHS-diagnosed) means she struggles, socially, physically and emotionally and she melts down at home.

Your attitude makes me sick

(A teacher of numerous SN kids and parent to get an SN child)