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The staffroom

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

Original poster

Why do parents think it's ok to talk to teachers like shit?

57 replies

StuffezLaBouche · 18/03/2013 19:39

Horrible parent today. Why aren't I entering her child for a certain test? You can't be bothered with the hassle, you don't like him, it's ok for you - you get in at nine and get to go at three, etc. etc.

If someone was so rude in my private life they'd get a firm and strongly worded mouthful. I just felt shaken after, as it was quite an outpour. Now I just feel really, really angry. I work my bloody arse off for my class and am so pissed off by the attitude that teachers can be talked to like that. I know all teachers will feel like this at some point... Today just got to me. (Not helped by the fifteen mile round trip to pick up a Gumtree item and the woman deciding not to sell after all.)

Sorry for this rant, just over stressed and a bit upset.

OP posts:
Original poster
StuffezLaBouche · 18/03/2013 19:40

Shit, title should read SOME parents, obviously. Most are lovely!

OP posts:
chicaguapa · 18/03/2013 19:56

It's because that's what parents are being fed by the media; teachers are shit, should be grateful for their graduate salaries & 13 weeks holiday a year, nothing more than glorified childcare, yet are failing the DC by simply teaching them, not making them reach their potential, giving outstanding lessons blah blah.

Unfortunately everyone has an opinion on teachers because they have all been taught by them and most have DC or GC being taught by them now. People genuinely have no idea what it's like unless they are involved. But they all think it's easy and there's a big conspiracy between teachers to pretend it's shit so no-one else finds out what an cushy number it is.

I think it's like the miner's strike all over again where Maggie spent a lot of time and effort into devaluing the mining industry because the unions were getting too powerful and she wanted the public to turn against them too. I see that happening now tbh. Not many people like or respect teachers, yet still expect them to turn their little Johnny into a genius. Hmm

Sorry you had a bad day. It would be nice to tell the parents to fuck off sometimes, wouldn't it. Wink

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2013 19:59

Hello . Am I allowed in even though I am not a teacher?

chicaguapa · 18/03/2013 20:01

I'm not a teacher either. I'm just here for the biscuits. Grin

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2013 20:05

Oh good chica Grin. Well I just wondered what has happened. When I was growing up in the 70s parents did not question teachers at all. Now it seems to be the norm to question the teachers and call them on every decision and generally be a PITA.

I couldn't be a teacher, i couldn't cope with grief from the parents. And i speak as a parent of DSs aged 13 and 11. I do trust the schools/teachers to have Dss best interests at heart. Is that unusual?

dummad · 18/03/2013 20:15

Look I don't want to sound glib but that sort if goes with being a teacher doesn't it? I mean you have to be a people person and you are in essence dealing with the general public. In answer to your question no, it's not ok for anyone to speak to anyone like shit. But the barman, the shop worker, the policeman, the postman, the nurses, the doctors - just about everyone - who comes onto contact with large numbers of people unfortunately get to deal with idiots. Even in business you get your clients and customers sometimes yelling at you for nothing.
Sorry, I don't want to be unsympathetic but there must be a large number of very vocal teachers on MN who say this type if thing often - more than any other profession. Does a sense of hardship come with the job? It's not an easy career no and maybe it's got a whole lot worse. But in 'my day' it wasn't common for people to call out ambulances and then throw bottles at the paramedics either. It's just the respect-less society we live in today but we're all suffering the same one way or another.

cupofteaplease · 18/03/2013 20:16

We had parents evening last week and before I'd even started talking to one parent she queried whether I actually taught her dd as she'd never seen me before! I told her I'd taken 6 weeks off when my dd died, but I'd been back since January. She didn't acknowledge what I'd said, merely asked which days I taught and said her dd had never mentioned me before. So pleased that I make such an impact on my pupils, makes the hard work I put in so rewarding. Hmm Grin

sjupes · 18/03/2013 20:16

I let my DDs teacher get on tbh - if something was terribly failing i'd expect to find out eventually but i don't need the daily/weekly update so many parents get to feel involved or like the worlds best mum ask for.

Rude parents pee me off!

BrigitBigKnickers · 18/03/2013 20:19

I had a nasty encounter with a pair of parents last week. They made their very aggressive ( and totally ridiculous) fuss in front of a reception full of parents and their poor six year old DD.

The problem is that their DD is just delightful, bright and hard working. I am a professional so there is no way I would take it out on the poor little thing (she looked completely mortified by the actions of her parents...) but they on the other hand have lost my goodwill and I won't be going out of my way to help them in the future.

I have now refused to see them unless another member of staff is present as I was really shaken by the encounter.

Such a shame as most of the parents I come into contact with are great.

ThePathanKhansAmnesiac · 18/03/2013 20:24

Cupoftea Sad, so sorry for your loss.
Thanks.

bigTillyMint · 18/03/2013 20:29

cupoftea, that's awfulSad What a cow.

Original poster
StuffezLaBouche · 18/03/2013 20:29

Dummad, why do you think I posted on this board? I KNOW other professions suffer, and I wasn't comparing teachers' shit to theirs - I just wanted to moan about my experience in my job, without reference to any other job whatsoever.
'Does a sense of hardship come with the job?' - that's nice, thanks.

Brigit, that's not at all uncommon, sadly, and totally agree it leaves you in a tricky place. As a professional and a person who realises the child is not to blame, you will keep on giving the child your full effort, but you don't see why you should break a leg for for such unpleasant parents. I have a few parents who I won't see without another member of staff.

OP posts:
chicaguapa · 18/03/2013 20:30

Why is it when people get together and moan in the staff room someone always wades in and says stop moaning you're not the only ones who have a shit job? Hmm How unoriginal!

Original poster
StuffezLaBouche · 18/03/2013 20:31

Oh god, cupoftea! What an awful reaction! :-( I'm so sorry.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 18/03/2013 20:32

Sadly the type of people who talk to teachers in this manner ,talk to everybody they deal with in this manner . Sadly there are lots of them about and of all ages . I'm in nursing and to be frank its getting worse every year .

dummad · 18/03/2013 20:40

Sorry. That was me being a bit narky. I don't have a staff room to go to you see so I lurk where I'm not wanted. Sad

chicaguapa · 18/03/2013 20:42

DH teaches at a very successful comp and some of the parents there are hideous. They think they're getting a free private education and want to make sure they get their pound of flesh. They constantly question the teachers and their motivation. In fact there was just that exact thread not so long ago.

I think a lot of parents are more involved in their DC's education now and because they help with homework and support learning at home, they think this this gives them an insight into 'being a teacher'. Those that don't give a shit probably wouldn't have respected teachers any more in the 70s anyway.

Original poster
StuffezLaBouche · 18/03/2013 20:43

m.youtube.com/watch?v=GI5m7DlcwNs
I feel like Basil today. 1:51 is a highlight! (Better not say that after recent threads though...!)

Dunno about anyone else but is the fact you can't respond in anything other than a placatory manner. I really wanted to say to Mrs. Rude to get her facts straight and think a bit more carefully before coming in in such a rude and insulting way. But of course not.

And the ridiculous demands. "Right, I want little Jimmy to only be seated with his friends, X, Y and Z. Nowhere NEAR A, B or C. I also want him to be in your close focus group at all times. What? A, B and C are in said focus group? Well they can't be. Well, ok, ONLY on strict condition they don't talk to Jimmy AT ALL. Hang on, A, B and C are nowhere NEAR as bright as Jimmy, why are you putting them together? Are you trying to give yourself an easy ride?"

And so on.

Yes it might be time for a long lie down.

OP posts:
Original poster
StuffezLaBouche · 18/03/2013 20:45

Dummad, you're more than welcome here! I was just being narks as well. I really do know other jobs, in fact any job working its public, gets shit too. And teachers are lucky on MN to have a staff room. Please stay! There might be some posts that make you think thank god you don't have to put up with that! :-)

OP posts:
chicaguapa · 18/03/2013 20:45

cupoftea Weren't you tempted to say "excuse me, did you hear me, I just told you my DD died?" Shock I'll bet she thought about it when she got home and felt bad/embarrassed.

Well done for going back to work. Very brave of you. Flowers

BettyBlues · 18/03/2013 20:56

CupOfTea - very, very sorry for your loss.

I'm the parent the staff hate - and it seems there's nothing I can do to change their opinion :(

I dont know what I did wrong. My 3 kids have SEN and there have been many difficult conversations - but I don't feel I was ever rude or aggressive. (direct and unhappy certainly)

But the staff hate me and are scared of me and now are horrible to me every time they have to talk to me.

Which is as little as possible, but sometimes they do have to speak to me.

For example today the SENCO told me DS was getting OT at school, which of course I was thrilled with. But she looked like a frightened rabbit when she told me so I asked her 'why are you scared of me' and she said 'why do you think'

Surely that's not a professional response? I've never shouted or anything like that. Walked off in tears rather a lot......

School have even told me I should move school, but of course I can't and they can't make me....

complexnumber · 21/03/2013 16:35

*"It's because that's what parents are being fed by the media; teachers are shit, should be grateful for their graduate salaries & 13 weeks holiday a year, nothing more than glorified childcare, yet are failing the DC by simply teaching them, not making them reach their potential, giving outstanding lessons blah blah.

Unfortunately everyone has an opinion on teachers because they have all been taught by them and most have DC or GC being taught by them now. People genuinely have no idea what it's like unless they are involved. But they all think it's easy and there's a big conspiracy between teachers to pretend it's shit so no-one else finds out what an cushy number it is."*

Absolutely perfect chicaguapa, everyone has been to school ipso facto everyone is an expert.

complexnumber · 21/03/2013 16:41

Forgot about paragraphs, try this ...

"It's because that's what parents are being fed by the media; teachers are shit, should be grateful for their graduate salaries & 13 weeks holiday a year, nothing more than glorified childcare, yet are failing the DC by simply teaching them, not making them reach their potential, giving outstanding lessons blah blah. "

"Unfortunately everyone has an opinion on teachers because they have all been taught by them and most have DC or GC being taught by them now. People genuinely have no idea what it's like unless they are involved. But they all think it's easy and there's a big conspiracy between teachers to pretend it's shit so no-one else finds out what an cushy number it is."

And then a repeat of my last statement...

Absolutely perfect chicaguapa, everyone has been to school ipso facto everyone is an expert.

(That 'Preview Message' box ought to be used more frequently)

ColinFirthsGirth · 21/03/2013 16:56

I'm not a teacher but I used to be a nurse and so know what it is like to have folk be so rude to you when you are desperately trying to help. Some folk are just plain rude and are probably unpleasant people generally it is just a real shame that teachers or anyone else has to put up with this when they don't deserve it.

Phineyj · 22/03/2013 17:31

I had a couple yell at me at an open evening because they said I didn't know what was in the syllabus (my school teaches a different qualification to the one they were talking about). I figured they probably yell at service people in other areas of their lives and generally don't do their research. I just kept smiling and saying 'yes I do know what's in the syllabus'. Their poor DS, he looked like he wanted to die.