Funny things children say and do

[GW297]

What is the funniest thing a child you have taught has ever done or said?

Not a teacher, but Brownie Guider. We were doing our disability awareness badge and had a blind lady in with her dig to talk to the girls. When it got to time for questions, one of them asked "do you like being blind?". Bless the woman, she handled it very well.

"my mum has the same coat as you"........ "but hers is a lot smaller"

there is obviously a theme with these - but another child ...

"I just love your big, fat, wobbly, squashy tummy" gave her a hug and said -" what a lot of lovely adjectives!" whilst trying not to giggle and blush at the same time....

"why can i feel a heartbeat in my bum?"

During a HMI observation.

'How many dead people have you rescued?' (Year 4 child to a visiting Firefighter)

"How old were you in Tudor times?" (different Year 4 child to ME during our introduction to the Tudor topic!!!)

Oh, and in another observation (not inspection related thankfully)...

"Miss, I think I'm going to find this too easy"

I hadn't even shared the Learning Intention yet!!!

Miss, how do you spell DS? (as in Nintendo)

Miss, you look like you are still pregnant in that top! Wouldn't mind but DD is 22 months old!

"How old are your grandchildren?" I was 23.
"does Luke have a caterpillar?" I was a bit by this and it took me a minute to work out he was asking if Luke had a tummy bug!

Miss what is 'common sense'?

Year 10 coursework:

Both poems deal with the topic of pre-natal sex.

A parent who wasnt sure of who I jobshare with said 'oh, the THIN one!'

Yeah, cheers pal!!!

One of the girls in my class can't say the classroom assistant's name so calls her 'miss doodah' which I love

Poetry in yr6, looking at 'Sea Fever' ("I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky...")

"Lonely sea is personification"
"Yes, can you explain why?"
"Well it can't really be lonely, because it's got fish in it."

Im a CM. The other day me and mindee were having lunch, I put salt on mine. His mum doesn't have salt on the table at home. He said, "CM where did you get that salt?" I said, "I got it from the kitchen" he said, "no, we don't have salt in the kitchen, you must have stole it from the pub!" He is 2! His mum almost had a fit when I told her!!

"How do you know when to put a full stop?"
" When my hand starts to ache!"

Ecolady - that's very funny.

ProudNeathGirl - that reminds me of the time i asked the children what you sometimes see blind people with apart from a guide dog and one of the children responded with 'a guide cat?'

Keep them coming!!!

My sister is a school librarian and was asked "When you get old and sick and die, who will you leave the library to?"

One of my Facebook friends cracked me up today by saying her daughter had said "Mummy, you look a mixture of old and young in that dress". Oh yes, how? "I mean you look like an old person, in a young person's dress"

Bloody kids.

I had a teen ask me last year 'Are you pregnant?' (I'm 45) and I said calmly, 'No, just fat - but I'm thrilled you think I'm young enough that I might be'......

My colleagues in the staffroom hooted with laughter when I told them, but as I pointed out - 'Hey! I look like I still get sex and I'm not menopausal yet!'

Difficult to find a silver lining in that one, but I managed!

Not to me but to a colleague:

Y4 science lesson, colleague asks, "What are the physical changes you notice after you do exercise?"

Lots of sensible suggestions such as raised heart rate, breathing hard, sweating. Then one boy puts up his hand and says, "Your nipples bleed."

Running! He must have seen joggers nipple!

me: "who can tell me what a verb is?"

child: "It's the writing on the back of a book telling you what the story is about".

"You look lovely Miss"

Said on my first day by year 7 in special ed school

Honestly didn't know what to say!

My mother enjoyed the following exchange with a 6-yr old when looking at a picture in a book with him.
'And what do you think the people are doing in this picture?'
Boy, very gravely: 'I shudder to think'