Without wishing to derail, last night I watched Mariska Hargitay's documentary "My Mom Jayne", about her mother Jayne Mansfield, who died in a car crash when Mariska was three (Mariska and her brothers were in the car). It's a really beautiful, moving, raw, honest and incredibly well-made film. There are parallels with Harry (and William), but I was most suprised by how much Mariska has been able to hold herself together with all the messes she's had to deal with in her life as well as the mixed feelings she had as a younger woman towards her mother - whom she has almost no memories of - and how she embarked on a journey to understand her mother.
I kept thinking as I was watching that Mariska must have had some amazing therapy to have dealt with the things she's had to deal with. I looked it up and she has massively educated herself on the subject.
She has said:
"On a personal note, I've also gone through my own journey of learning how to respond to the various traumas that I've experienced in my life. I lost my mother when I was three years old and I grew up in a house of people dealing with the tragedy in their own way. And because there was so much grief, there wasn't room to prioritize anyone," Hargitay told the audience.
"We didn't have the tools that we have now to metabolize and understand trauma, understand all the levels, understand that it goes in on the cellular level," she explained. "So it wasn't until much later in my life when I was able to do that for myself."
https://people.com/mariska-hargitay-shares-how-therapy-gave-me-my-life-back-after-trauma-8744662
I can't imagine Harry being able to talk about grief and trauma in such a way, yet he's projecting himself as a grief counsellor.