Trooping the Colour aka why I'm not suited to royal life

[MrsLeonFarrell]

I wee. A lot. Particularly if I think i can't get to a toilet because, say, I'm stuck on a parade ground.

I get hot. Very hot. Even in a thin linen dress can't imagine how I'd cope with a coat dress and hat in full sun.

I get travel sick. Those carriages look like they sway a lot.

I have an inappropriate sense of humour. Lip readers would have a field day.

What about you? Would you sail through a major royal event or would you be like me, an unfortunate tabloid headline in the making?

Couldn't do it. I admire the way they all coped today - but then I think that's the flip side of a life of immense privilege. If you want the advantages of that then you also have to show up and be appropriate even if you're bored and uncomfortable.

I would get papped either making a face or rolling my eyes. Possibly both at the same time. Plus I'd need a snack halfway through.

I would have a classic fan.

Bit of air on my face, and hides my mouth when I'm being inappropriate 🙃

I'd be terrible.

My resting face is proper bitch face - the headline writers would have a field day with me as they'd assume I was bored or stuck up.

The temptation to sit back in the seat rather than straight back the whole time would be too much.

There is also no way I could get in and out of those carriages in a dress and not flash an inappropriate amount of thigh at best, most likely my Spanx would be on full view.

I've often thought of this, particularly in relation to Catherine.

Unlike her, I...
Go bright red when hot
Cry uncontrollably at funerals, weddings, sad stories
Hate small talk
Also want to go to the loo lots when I know I can't
Find it hard to control my face if I'm feeling bored

I'd be terrible at any public events so definitely a good thing I was never going to be in her position!

Watched the trooping of the colour with my almost 100 year old Mother she kept on asking the same question what do they do if the want the toilet. I think she thought a soldier on parade could put his hand up “please sir I want the toilet”

I have resting bitch face, yawn a lot and fall asleep easily. I'd be absolutely terrible.

Or a soldier, Police officer or paramedic who has to hang around on parade for hours.

You’d make a perfect Royal then! Choose between channelling Prince Philip, Princess Anne or Prince Louis.

I've done it on the military side, a youthful bladder helped, the worse is the heat, it's horrific on hot days. Usually a little bit hungover that didn't help but did keep you dehydrated so even less likely to need a pee. If you did need the toilet it's better to pretend you're feeling faint and go down on one knee and be escorted away. Luckily never needed to do that.

I sneeze. My nose is always running. Also I spill stuff down me. I’m a disaster

I don't know how they do it!

I get hot in just a t-shirt, but the thought of those woollen jackets and fur helmets. And if you tank up on water before, you'll probably need to wee as OP says. Someone told me that soldiers in this situation are instructed to wee down their leg and keep marching or standing to attention - poor things!

I agree. I always think that the negative far outweigh the positives

Me too.

My eyes are streaming today because I seem to be randomly allergic to something.

I get round it in summer by wearing sunglasses. You never see the Royals in sunnies!

Absolutely. I'd be standing there trying to eat crisps quietly.

Plus I'd need an enormous handbag for my list of just in case items I take everywhere.

But maybe they have sandwiches in the carriage and bolt them down when they go through the arch?

That's a brilliant idea

Oh goodness I hadn't thought about my resting grump face, the tabloids would be predicting divorce all the time.

It seems easy but it's really tiring being on show all the time. No wonder she wears big hats, at least she can dip her head occasionally to get some privacy.

I saw an article on this, apparently they pee their trousers. Good thing they aren't a light colour. I wonder if bladder control is part of the upbringing of Royal children?

I'd be absolutely terrible at anything where I can't leave. Kudos you them all.

By dint of my husband, I have a lot of formal events in my life. Think dress codes plus hats.

To get through, I channel Mary Donaldson, who is a similar age. She lived in a flatshare in Sydney, carried her stuff around in a Nike Nylon bag, was dating a Sydney soccer player . One night she went to a pub, met a guy. Now she’s the Queen of Flipping Denmark.

At least no one fainted this year as far as i could tell. They always seem to fall face first which must be so painful.

And Carrbridge is allergic to horses, I wonder if she takes antihistamines. I'm just allergic to every plant they drive past.

Catherine even

It's a pity they can have pockets for ice packs in the bear skins. I know soldiers are trained for far more discomfort but it is still unpleasant