Trooping the Colour aka why I'm not suited to royal life

[MrsLeonFarrell]

I wee. A lot. Particularly if I think i can't get to a toilet because, say, I'm stuck on a parade ground.

I get hot. Very hot. Even in a thin linen dress can't imagine how I'd cope with a coat dress and hat in full sun.

I get travel sick. Those carriages look like they sway a lot.

I have an inappropriate sense of humour. Lip readers would have a field day.

What about you? Would you sail through a major royal event or would you be like me, an unfortunate tabloid headline in the making?

My parents ended up at a lot of formal events one year as my father was given one of those honorary positions that last a fixed time. My mum was really worried about what to wear and how to act but a lovely lady in a more senor role said, those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind. It gave mum confidence to get through all the ceremonies

The heat would definitely do for me, there is no foundation known to woman that could cope for a start.

As the expected degree of glamour might be lacking these days, I'd go for either a Queen Mary (wonderful blinding jewels to make up for other flaws; slightly scary) or at the other end of the scale Queen Salote of Tonga (immensely loveable) vibe.

I'd give it a go. Preferably in the Spring or Autumn. They could move Trooping for me?

I suspect adult nappies come into it somewhere.

You can get those ‘pull ups’ pants the type that bairns wear for adults now. I should imagine they are heavily involved

Ha ha @FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury great minds!

I read many years ago that the Duke of Windsor referred to a catheter for very long occasions. I really hope not and it wouldn't be an entire soultion, would it?

I can’t walk in high heels. The Daily Mail would get pages of disapproving articles out of my footwear choices!

I would be appalling.
I fidget, can’t cope with heat, bloat really easily and have unruly hair. I can’t cope with strong sunshine so wear sunglasses a lot more often than most people which would probably give rise to rumours that I was upset and then speculation about what I was upset about. I also spill things down me regularly and bump into things. The bumping into things plus a tendency to bruise easily means my legs are usually black, blue, green and yellow which would probably lead to further rumours.
Plus the children. My children are slightly older than the Cambridges and generally quite nice and fairly well behaved. But there is no way that would suit in a carriage and wave nicely. They just want to blend in with the crowd. Trooping the Colour always coincides with a local event and I can just imagine Yr7 DS going down the mall giving me grief about not being at that event with his mates and Yr9 DD just sinking lower and lower in her seat wearing a crop top and flippy skirt/massive tracksuit trousers.
Oh, and I’d forget to put my phone on silent so would get a ping and, whilst meaning to ignore it, would end up checking my messages

Yes the heels would be a no for me. Catherine's look like torture.

I'd definitely choose the Queen Mary look, as if people threw my jewellery box at me. But it's not really appropriate these days so more tabloid articles.

Maybe the jewels would distract from the ice shoved down my frock to cope with the heat?

I used to wear heels like that all the time. These days I'd twist an ankle trying them on.

I’ve got to wear tights on Tuesday. Hottest day of year. I will be wearing flip flops until the last possible moment.

Here are Sophie and Freddie today.

I cry too easily.

I’d be in floods at any hospital, cancer hospice, tragedy, funeral and anything involving sick kids.

And it would be awful because it looks performative and making it all about me - but I just can’t help it. I have to sit somewhere discreet at funerals where I’m not close family because it looks so bizarre that I’m more upset than the actual family members.

It’s a real skill to manage those types of engagements where they have to show empathy and interest, concern and care without centering themselves. I think that’s one of Catherine’s strongest skills she sounds as though she really cares about the people she meets but doesn’t make it all about her own emotions.

I am the opposite and am prone to uncontrollable giggling at very inappropriate moments. And my hair would be bigger than Crystal Tips if there was any moisture in the air

I'd definitely choose the Queen Mary look, as if people threw my jewellery box at me

I believe that at court balls the last Tsarina of Russia wore so many diamonds it hurt the eyes to look at her. This would be a useful distraction technique from the sweaty mess I would have been today and one could always leave the balcony with a final Sid Vicious V sign.

OK, not great PR, I grant.

I always wonder how they cope with hayfever? And doesn’t Catherine allegedly have an allergy to horses? How does she cope when she’s surrounded by them? I’ve been struggling with hay fever, even after doubling my dose, so no eye make up for me today!

Catherine makes it all love so easy. I would be channeling Louis levels of fidgeting and trying to hide my boredom 🤣

Also, I wouldn’t be able to stay composed during somber events and funerals. I remember one of the York sisters broke down at Prince Philip’s funeral/memorial and I felt so bad for her.

Remember how they were all trying to keep straight faces during the Bishop Curry sermon at Harry and Meghan’s wedding.

I think Camilla gets the giggles easily and struggles to keep a straight face. I think Charles, William, Catherine and Beatrice were struggling not to laugh too (although i think this is partially because they can see Camilla laughing), whilst Zara couldn’t hide her WTF face 🤣

If I was Queen I'd ban tights in the Summer.

I've noticed that even when she is asked a direct question or is talking about her own experiences she always broadens it out in her answer and deflects from herself.

There were dwindling a few head down, hide under the enormous hat moments. I suspect it's because he went on for far longer than planned. Zara looked so uncomfortable but she was 300 months pregnant and sorting in one of the tiny fold down wooden Quire seats so I think she can be forgiven.

Several of the family teared up during services for the late Queen and Prince Philip. I think it's one of the reasons they control what footage can be used after the event, to edit out private moments that were fine to show live but shouldn't be repeated.

One thing this thread is showing me is that I'm normal is not being able to live like that. If I joined the family the rest could relax and do whatever they wanted!

I get travel sick going backwards so I'd always be the fussy one about seats in a carriage.

The image that totally got me was when the late Queen put her head down during Philip's funeral. Sitting on her own and all you could see was a little black blob. As someone who has been widowed, I could only imagine her fortitude, going through that knowing the world was watching.

Held, tights, heat, toilet breaks as PP have mentioned. Also I wouldn’t be able to stop myself yawning.
I used to have seizures thanks to a benign brain tumour (now removed) and would crash over with no warning at all. That would be…interesting…as a royal. I might have gone head first over the balcony. 😂