Rebrand, Restructure, Harry and Meghan 2025 version

[Thedom]

The Era of Joy didn't last long.

This is going to be interesting, it's going to be a full on PR onslaught for the next few months, and then we will have Harry launching his very own 'commercial project'.

Clearly an article straight from the Office of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, giving an exclusive to the DM.

archive.is/ufM7K

Scent of Harry

What would it be?

Launching a perfume is a well-known way to make easy money. But what will he call it? Prince? Royalty? HRH? FUWK (Fuck you William and Kate)?

It would be a truly desperate move to do "at home reality" but I just don't see them being that interesting. The Osbournes were of course all over the place but there was an odd kind of relatability in some of their antics and they were actually entertaining. There is only so much mileage you can get from flower sprinkles and resentment.

(Cue Harry shuffling around a la Ozzy and periodically shouting "MEGHAN!!!")

The Beckhams have done perfumes/aftershaves and I bought the David Beckham ones when they started showing an interest in grooming as they smell pretty good. It will be interesting if it’s a premium product or they try and go for mass appeal like David Beckham did.

No disrespect but I’d much rather see David beckham lounging around in his pants promoting his aftershave than Harry!!! 🤮

Oh god this would be appalling . I have an aversion to anything like this which tends to end up in cut price stores. They never aim high! They are looking for that customer who shops in Kohls or The Fragrance Shop. What would Harry's be?

courtesy of Chat GPT
"Untamed Spirit – Aftershave for the Wild at Heart

Feel the thunder of hooves and the heat of skin. Untamed Spirit is more than an aftershave—it’s a declaration of primal power. Opening with the raw, earthy scent of leather saddles and warm tobacco, it gallops into deeper notes of musk, black pepper, and smoky cedarwood. This is the scent of freedom—of windswept plains, bare skin against bareback, and the lingering intensity of a night spent unbridled.

Crafted for the man who doesn’t follow trails—he blazes them. Whether riding into dawn or leaning into a midnight kiss, Untamed Spirit leaves behind a trail that’s impossible to forget."

....having his backside smacked by an older woman who took his virginity in a field

She was still in her teens herself, wasn't she? Not that much older.

Déjà vu

Article in the The Spectator a short 12 months ago, May 4th 2024.

Harry and Meghan are at it again – launching themselves into another rebrand – this time embarking on a faux-royal tour to Nigeria, hiring new PR staff in the UK, promoting strawberry jam on Instagram and – good grief! – touting Netflix shows about friendship and polo. There’s a certain sadness about this latest effort, since the Sussexes’s entire past year has been spent branding and rebranding themselves with practically no effect, and the whiff of desperation now hovers over them.

Their annus horribilis of branding mishaps and misfortunes kicked off last April when Meghan signed up with the glitziest of the Hollywood PR giants – William Morris Endeavor. At the time, the Sussex image was in sore need of a turnaround. The consensus had it that they were good at trashing the royal family – via Oprah, Spare and Netflix – but were struggling to prove themselves in any other way. This was unfortunate, as the victimhood narrative was a branding disaster.

With the publication of Spare, Harry’s approval ratings in the US dropped an alarming 45 points to minus 7 and Meghan’s fell 36 points to minus 13. And this was before the disdainful South Park episode about their Worldwide Privacy Tour. It was starting to look like Meghan might not be able to run for president after all.

www.spectator.co.uk/article/harry-and-meghans-desperate-rebrand/

Bearing in mind how people have reported how Harry smells (booze, fags and other substances) ? No thanks 😂

I believe she was only a few months older!!!

Poor woman, and betrayed in such a dreadful way. 😢
What a vile man.

Surely they only work on a 'consultancy' basis? Even A listers rarely have their own in house PR staff. They'll work with an agency which deals with several clients.

Still expensive, but I don't believe they are paying full time salaries for any of these people.

That makes sense

The word I associate most with Harry is Todger and that’s not a pleasant concept at all. It’s Father’s Day next month - Harry needs to get a move on if he’s hoping to take advantage.

Worse than that ! She worked in the stables? ( I may be wrong) and I’m sure her father was on staff too!
so he took advantage of “staff” .

Post bender kebab sweats, pot and desperation.

🤣

I don't think NF would renew a contract with someone on the off chance that they might make a 'bombshell' show several years from now, or never. If Meghan were to do a big divorce 'reveal all' then it would still have to be negotiated.

They might renew her 'cooking' show because it's cheap to make. But I can't see her and Harry being offered the sort of lucrative production deals they got 5 years ago.

Oh god this would be appalling . I have an aversion to anything like this which tends to end up in cut price stores. They never aim high! They are looking for that customer who shops in Kohls or The Fragrance Shop. What would Harry's be?

Celebrity fragrances can make a lot of money though. Jennifer Lopes has made an estimated $10m a year from her agreement with Coty to sell her perfume Glow and its stablemates - they are huge sellers.

Well Jeremy Clarkson was able to sell a candle called ‘this smells like my bollocks’ so who knows?!

It can only make money if people buy it. And what exactly would Harry's target demographic be? His reputation has plummeted in the past 5 years so I don't see a huge market for Eau du Dook.

I also think actually flogging a product would be a major humiliation for Harry. Royals don't dabble in petty commerce. That's for the lower orders.

He''s not an attractive man. I can't see him advertising anything.

Maybe Harry can do a "collab" with Elizabeth Arden and do a scent that smells like his todger and 8 Hour Cream. Call it "Oscillation"

There won’t be a new X years production deal with Harry and Meghan Archewell productions with NF.

What it will be is a continuation of Megs infomercials on NF because they have invested in the fan merch As Ever business. They are still testing it out, but I suspect she will prob be given at least 5 ‘series’. They are incredibly cheap to make and the whole point of them is to flog the As Ever crap. I suspect as time goes on however, that fewer people will tune into the infomercials and buy the overpriced tat. Look at her podcast, that gives you a real look at how the business works: huge attention, worldwide press coverage at the beginning, usually to see how much further she will stoop, then the interest wanes and it’s forgotten about. Is the podcast still putting out new episodes? It’s not charting in the top 100 anymore is it?

This is what will happen to As ever and WLM. Huge interest at the start, you then discover there’s no substance and then the interest disappears. Rinse, repeat.

Im guessing they know this and this is all just a money grab while they can.

Did he really?? 🤣🤣
if so I imagine he was taking the piss out of GPs vagina scented candle! 🤣 fair play!! 🤣