https://archive.ph/0oFTt
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/01/21/prince-harry-deluded-vanity-fair-spotify-podcast-putin/
How the Harry meets Vlad podcast would go:
‘“Hello, is that Vladimir Putin?”
“Speaking.”
“Hi Vlad, it’s Prince Harry. You know: the ginger one from the British Royal family. Until recently, anyway. Just wanted to ask you a quick favour.”
“But of course, Harry. Fire away.”
“I’m starting a podcast, and I’d like to interview you for it.”
“Sure, no problem. I love being interviewed. After all, everyone knows how strongly I believe in media freedom, and the importance of holding political leaders to account. Why, without that, we wouldn’t have democracy! Is there anything in particular you’d like to question me about?”
“Yes. My podcast is going to be called Prince Harry Meets the World’s Most Awful People, and in it, I’m going to ask my guests why exactly they’re so horrible, evil and mad. So naturally I thought straight away of you.”
“Harry, I’m touched.”
“Hang on, I haven’t finished yet. As well as discussing why it is that you’re so awful, we’ll also talk about why it is that I, by contrast, am so wonderful. How come, instead of being a hideous psycho like you, I turned out to be so selfless, humble and down-to-earth?”
“That’s a great question.”
“It is. A lot of people have been asking it, ever since I publicly walked out on my family and moved to the other side of the world to get away from them. And people are bound to ask that question even more, when they find out that I’ve agreed to write a tell-all memoir revealing damaging secrets about my family in exchange for a vast sum of money.”
“Delightful. Harry, I’d love to appear on your podcast.”
“Thanks, Vlad. I knew that, despite being, like I just said, a ruthlessly self-serving maniac, you’d be eager to help out a complete stranger for no personal gain, and allow him to insult you in front of the entire world.”
“My pleasure. There’s only one very small difficulty. What with my busy schedule of invading other countries and murdering my critics in cold blood, I might not have room in my diary to fly to Montecito. So would you mind if we conduct the interview in Russia, instead? I have the perfect studio for you. It’s on the top floor of an extremely tall building, and has the most spectacular views – as you will see, when I take you over to the window…”’
‘