Royal family should consider paying H & M off by way of an NDA?

[ilovemoney]

Harry and Meghan had difficult childhoods. I liked Diana but she was unstable, didn't see much of them and they witnessed her being unstable or with a recent boyfriend during the rare times in the holidays they saw her. They grew up in a lot of tension and under the spotlight. Not saying it was all bad but it clearly affected Harry and i think he was troubled by the time she sadly died.

He then had issues with drink and drugs which seem quite entrenched. He was sent to Africa to get him away and off drink and drugs to no avail. Then years of therapy to no avail. I suspect he may have a personality disorder which are near impossible to treat.

The palace over the years have covered up for him and done a fabulous if a little dishonest, PR job, which i think Harry owes them for, but also the palace and family situation were in many ways had some culpability for the state he was in. They kept him well under the wing of William and Kate for example.
I also feel like they sort of should have protected him more from meeting someone with not great intentions who was also damaged.

Meghan has a really strange family who don't seem that nice and Doria was apparently in prison for many years which must have been so hard. I saw a clip of her when she was about 11 and i see a child so very unhappy.
She also owes the palace who scrubbed her internet past and no doubt organised some NDS to give her a fresh start but again some blame here on the palace as this sort of now feels a bit of a cover up as i think there was rather a lot to cover up and its one thing deleting a few pictures but another to blank this woman's past completely.

Anyway the palace knew and tried their best to manage the pair of them.
They now have both of them using their titles to tour the world and take part in charity work which is really questionable.
Harry in particular is an embarrassing wrecking ball who has the publics interest.
Apparently the palace are worried about Spare 2 and God knows what else when they run out of money.
I think they are right to be worried. At the moment it is an embarrassing car crash after car crash, Africa parks, new York taxis, cringe trip to Nigeria and on and on.

I have no doubt the RF are hurt and angry with them and a NDA would be a very hard pill to swallow but if they want them to go and live quietly and stop embarrassing the royal family i think they are going to have to pay for it to the tune of a few million a year in exchange for some clear rules.

Thank you for that deeply interesting post at 14:55, @GiveMeSpanakopita

I can't speculate on Harry's undoubted difficulties because frankly I just don't have the professional knowledge, but if you're even halfway right it would help to explain the palace's hands-off approach - as in let's not push him in case it brings about something even worse

And the other thing if you're right is that it can't be at all easy to live with him

I don’t recall the press being critical of her spending time away from her sons. But it would have worked well as a headline with the yacht photos of that summer (her sons had also had a holiday with her on that yacht that summer).

Her and Charles had been divorced a long time by then so the boys time would have been split between each parent. I’m sure it has been said that she couldn't wait to see them after the final part of her time in France that year.

Diana may have been many things but she clearly adored her children. Marrying into the RF at 20 years of age to a man who had a mistress he had no intention of giving up would be enough to affect anyones mental well-being.

Sadly, I think happy years were ahead of her. I think her MH was much improved after the divorce.

I do. You can check the headlines.
The papers were very critical of her as an absentee mum.

I think she was like many aristicratic women, not exactly present as a parent.

I think wnat Harry lacks more than anything is critical thinking. Who pays for things won’t occur to him at all.

Im amazed after all the therapy he never came to the obvious conclusion, that everyone came to a long time ago, is that he was born in the best position. Who would want to be king, working until probably your last breath. Harry had money and freedom and isn’t happy with it.
Anyone normal would be living in some lovely big chateaux in France and just popping to the U.K. when he needed to.
But he seems desperate to be important and somehow do better than William and show him up. An impossible task though.

I think this issue with any Spare in the RF is that they are part of this hugely wealthy family but inherit nothing of the family wealth.

They may get inheritances from the privatetly held wealth of individuals who are part of the family e.g. Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, the late Queen Mother, or Diana, who inherited Spencer money.

But the RF money is, constitutionally, passed from.monarch to monarch, and heir to heir, so the spares get nothing. Unlike the other aristocratic families, where trust funds ensure the second (and third etc.) sons and the daughters get a slice of family wealth to go off and do what they want.

Yes, @Rhaidimiddim but they're not exactly hard done by! They're still immensely wealthy and have properties and investments. Plus amazing life opportunities.
You could have the most incredible life as a "Spare".

I'm not sure of that.

The expectation seems to be that, as Spare, you'll support the Monarch, then your sibling, by performing ' royal duties'. Taking on patronages, touring the country visiting events, opening things, kind of stuff. Showing family unity - summer in Scotland, Christmas in Norfolk.

You get money from the Sovereign Grant for stuff you attend. And then whatever budget the Duchy you fall under deems OK. So Harry had his £30m (? or whatever) from Diana, which would have bought him.a nice crib, but he had no guaranteed income to maintain it. He got an allowance from the Duchy of Cornwall, and could have expected continued financial support once his dad became King. But all discretionary, nothing guaranteed

So far, all enviable from our points of view. But from his?

His mate the second son of the Duke of Nowhere would have a trust fund income with no ties that required him to do the RF drudgery or prevented him from venturing into business. Harry did not have that freedom.

Leaving aside the H&M situation, Harry was faced with a present where he had enough to live on comfortably but could not earn money to bring his situation up to that of his peers. He was instead expected to graft for the RF in the hope of being looked after by them once his currency was up. While all the time mixing with the super rich.

It is a problem the RF has to address.

He’s been well provided for. Also if he had buggered off somewhere to live quietly he probably would have gotten more help (on top of the money Charles has already give him).
Its clear they want to live very much in the public eye to a standard Harry was used to.
Harry always reminds me of Edward VIII and not being able to find a place for himself past abdication.

They may get inheritances from the privatetly held wealth of individuals who are part of the family e.g. Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, the late Queen Mother, or Diana, who inherited Spencer money.

The bulk of 'Diana's money' came from her divorce settlement. So it was still 'royal' money. The Spencers, like most aristocratic families, will have settled the entire estate on the heir. Diana, the 3rd daughter, will not have come into huge amounts of money from the Spencers.

Leaving aside the H&M situation, Harry was faced with a present where he had enough to live on comfortably but could not earn money to bring his situation up to that of his peers. He was instead expected to graft for the RF in the hope of being looked after by them once his currency was up. While all the time mixing with the super rich.

I'm not sure doing maybe 2 appearances a week is 'grafting.'

He also had the option of staying in the army. Not a way to earn serious money, but it would have given him a purpose in life.

Also, the past 4 years have shown us that Harry has little work ethic and little to offer beyond his royal titles. How exactly could he have earned serious money outside the royal family?

I don't believe that the Spencer family don'tbhave a trust fund arrangement.

They may do, but Earl Spencer will still have inherited the bulk of family money. That's how it's done in aristocratic families.

No way did Diana inherit the tens of millions she is said to have passed onto her sons. That was mostly Charles' money.

I was trying to address the situation of the RF spare, not specifically Harry.

By highlighting how the RF's financial arrangement ( arranged in the late 1700s) is no longer fit for purpose.

To be fair, I think the desire for money and adulation is Meghan’s, not Harry’s. He wasn’t a money grabbing whiner before he met her. She has made him dissatisfied with his lot.

Look. Harry keeps talking about his love for conservation. Or he did. If he was truly interested, he could have gotten a degree, taken over a royal estate and rewilded it, and invested his $30 million. If he was happily engaged in conservation, he wouldn't be spending his money on crap.

No offense, but he bought a money-trap of a house. A good financial planner, some clear interests, and he would be set for life.

@Lampzade Well, people are interested now, but I doubt that they’ll still be interested in 10 years when George, Charlotte and Louis are young adults.

I agree with @BemusedAmerican that Harry needs to find a cause/career to get his teeth into and stop trying to be a celebrity or regain his former VIP status. That would earn him real respect. I know that they’ve been commenting on mental health recently-get some qualifications perhaps and really try to make a difference.

I imagine that most of us, if we had their financial cushion, would work for causes that mean a lot to us and not expect kudos in return.

Each time there is a new announcement of what H and M are up to- there's a buzz of excitement in some areas, it happens , there's criticism and newspaper features about it. It dies within a few days. The longevity of interest isn't there anymore. They are a spent force.

They both had awful childhoods.

Meghan’s young DM left her aged 2 to live a boho party lifestyle, but did see her for a while at weekends. Meghan was brought up by her workaholic DF who did his best with all 3 kids.

Diana spoiled both her sons, adored them, but weaponised them against their father and in the last year or so of her life put them second to her busy love life. Charles was either at work or with Camilla.

Both the couple had workaholic fathers and non hands-on mothers. Harry’s mum died when he was 12. They were spoiled and neglected as children.

I live in a Commonwealth country and I can't remember the last time I heard anyone mention H and M. No-one really seems interested in them now.

@Supersimkin7 they didn't "both have awful childhoods". They both went to elite private schools, Meghan to a good university and an internships at an embassy, Harry to the army and royal duties. They had immense privilege and significant opportunities most people don't have. They had parental love and support - who has perfect parents? An "awful childhood" would be something quite different in my reckoning. Neither have been prevented from chasing their dreams and have had the means and opportunity to have incredible lives. They have chosen instead to monetise the dissatisfaction of not having the highest status in the RF.

I don’t know much about Chelsea, but it’s obviously done William good to spend time in a normal family environment at Kates parents. I assume that’s the model their using for their own family. I don’t know if it’s true but it was reported they are strict about staff being the house to make it as normal as possible.
H&M seem very happy to leave their young children for long periods of time with Doria/staff? For people so keen to lecture they seem to be repeating some of the same issues or particularly Harry’s childhood.

Totally agree with this.

When I think about how I am doing in life, I don't compare myself with a Brazilian orphan scavenging on rubbish dumps to survive and count my lucky stars. Well I do, but generally I compare myself with my peers, people who have had the same upbringing and education. So I compare my lot in life with that of my siblings, cousins and friends from school.

Harry comes from the family that basically owns the country and is hugely rich, and he was educated with the children of other rich and influential people. It must be frustrating for him that he wasn't encouraged to pursue a real career just in case he was needed to take on the top job in the family firm, but now that's not needed so as you were, Harry.

Harry's peers have much more money, they don't get their phones hacked or worry about being kidnapped, they can consider a hair transplant without ridicule and dress up as a nazi or play strip snooker to their hearts' content without having to worry about appearing on the front page. He is looking at their lives when he complains about his, not our lives.

It must be frustrating for him that he wasn't encouraged to pursue a real career just in case he was needed to take on the top job in the family firm, but now that's not needed so as you were, Harry.

He was. He was expected to remain in the military until at least his 40s, as the previous generation's 'spare', Andrew had done. He chose to drop out and become a working royal.

And to repeat the question I asked above: Given his abilities, or lack thereof, what lucrative career could he have persued on his own merits?

Harry's peers have much more money, they don't get their phones hacked or worry about being kidnapped, they can consider a hair transplant without ridicule and dress up as a nazi or play strip snooker to their hearts' content without having to worry about appearing on the front page.

Harry has more than enough uneaned wealth to live a quiet life of luxury if he so chooses. But he seeks out media attention.

Harry didn’t choose to leave, he was forced out because his presence in the Army was compromising other soldiers . His location was given away by the media .