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The royal family
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14
YaMuvva · 12/04/2024 17:46

DrJoanAllenby · 12/04/2024 14:46

Word is out that she and Brooklyn Beckham are going to make a collaboration cooking video.

Meghan (flicks hair) - Today we are going to be making a dish that I invented. French fries a La sour dough loaf.

Brooklyn - wot? Oh yeah. A chip Butty.

Meghan elbows Brooklyn sharply in the ribs and throws him a filthy narrow eyed look.

Megan (voice slightly raised) trills - the potatoes are all home grown organically in my garden and tended to by Buddhist monks who say a prayer over them every day.

Brooklyn - it says Asda on the packet.

Meghan throws back her head in fake laughter whilst surreptitiously kicking Brooklyn in the shin with a well aimed pointy Laboutin shoe made from solid gold costing £250,000 of Prince Charles Money.

Brooklyn hops around on one foot in pain and topples over bringing a baking tray crashing down on top of him.

Meghan laughs maniacally and gestures for security to drag Brooklyn away who is now sobbing like a big baby and covered in goose fat from the baking tray that landed on him.

Meghan now ecstatic to be the only 'star' of the show throws herself into peeling the spuds with gusto, her teeth flashing at the camera with glee.

A servant has retrieved the baking tray and Meghan declares that they have run out of time to par boil them and they will have to go straight in he oven.

Fast forward and the chips are done. Over done. Meghan goes mad and screams everyone is out to get her and must have rigged the oven to burn them as nothing, NOTHING is ever her fault.

She stabs at the butter with a cleaver, the butter knife cast aside in her rage and furiously spreads it over the sliced bread before tipping the burnt chips inside and revealing to the camera that she has a special way to finish off the dish and produces a rolling pin with which to flatten the Chip Butty to keep it altogether.

As she wields the rolling pin, Hapless Harry blunders onto the film set and shrieks, 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I don't know what I did but please don't hit me again! I'll be a good boy!

Tune in next week when Megan will be making Bakewell tarts with Hilary Clinton.

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😂😂😂😂😂😂GENIUS

IcedPurple · 12/04/2024 17:52

AliceOlive · 12/04/2024 13:22

Here’s the toast video

Meghan seems like she’s changed since the Suits days. Do you think it’s possible she’s lost herself entirely with her life changing so dramatically?

Honestly, I'm not sure there was ever any real 'self' to lose.

She seems like an empty shell to me. No core personality, other than a great desire to be adored and envied by all.

Azandme · 12/04/2024 17:55

I heard this on the news this morning on my drive to work.

Was laughing my head off. It's as though they were told to come up with something they were good at - and these two ridiculously naff options were all they've got.

"Netflix want us to fulfil our contract, Hazza."

"Fack! What on Earth will we do?"

"Show them all the things we're good at! The plebs will lap it up!"

"But what things Megain? Fack! It's a disaaaaster! We're busy, being private!"

"We're good at SO many things, like...um...well....hmmmm..."

"Well you could make more toast? Maybe it'll help sell the jam!"

"And you know quite a bit about polo. So that'll do for yours."

"Fantastic! We're amazing! The proles will LAP it up, and we'll get a tick from Netters!"

EdithWeston · 12/04/2024 18:16

IcedPurple · 12/04/2024 17:52

Honestly, I'm not sure there was ever any real 'self' to lose.

She seems like an empty shell to me. No core personality, other than a great desire to be adored and envied by all.

Show quote history

I think this is called having an external locus of identity. And it's really common amongst those drawn to acting.

CC49 · 12/04/2024 18:40

Salemforcuddles · 12/04/2024 17:44

So basically she made toast?

Yes. She toasted bread that she herself did not bake. And then slathered it with apple butter that she herself did not make.

And then I lost interest and fast forwarded and caught her saying something about wearing a pajama top with a monogram and then I Xed out.

Salemforcuddles · 12/04/2024 18:42

I thought I had missed a huge part of the video

IcedPurple · 12/04/2024 18:48

EdithWeston · 12/04/2024 18:16

I think this is called having an external locus of identity. And it's really common amongst those drawn to acting.

Show quote history

Was she 'drawn to acting'? Or did she just see it as an obvious way to try to become rich and famous, as a California girl raised on the fringes of the industry?

In her downtime from 'Suits' she never tried to improve her craft, and instead wrote a vapid lifestyle blog. She has also never expressed any interest in returning to acting since she married Harry. I think acting was a means to an end for her. Much like everything and everyone else in her life.

JSMill · 12/04/2024 19:02

That toast video is hilarious. She basically just buttered toast! If she'd have explained how to make the apple butter ( a recipe inherited from grandma 🥱 made better by M), it would have been interesting but without that, wtf was the point.

IsoldeWagner · 12/04/2024 19:04

I think she was on tv sets as a child, because of her Dad's work. In the Tig, she wrote about how helpful he was with school productions.
She didn't pursue international relations or develop the help given to by her uncle with the internship, so she must have decided early on to be an actress.

AliceOlive · 12/04/2024 20:45

Don’t get overwhelmed by toast, people.

ZellyFitzgerald · 12/04/2024 21:05

There's nothing quite like toast with a side of (word) salad.

Runnerinthenight · 12/04/2024 21:08

Thedom · 12/04/2024 17:13

posted on Reddit, pretty apt 😀

“This was put out when they landed the contract with NF.

“Our lives, both independent of each other and as a couple, have allowed us to understand the power of the human spirit, of courage, resilience and the need for connection,” the couple said in a statement.

“Through our work with diverse communities and their environments, to shining a light on people and causes around the world, our focus will be on creating content that informs but also gives hope. As new parents, making inspirational family programming is also important to us, as is powerful storytelling through a truthful and relatable lens.”

What do we get - Polo and some cooking. Shining a light on which people and causes? Polo players? How relatable is this? Because I think we should be all concerned with millionaires who play the sport of Kings.”

They do spout some shite don't they?

Well I suspect her more than him, because he doesn't have the brains to word it, and it's all California speak.

Runnerinthenight · 12/04/2024 21:10

Also, has he actually ever done anything for BetterUp, other than be appointed?!!

Mylovelygreendress · 12/04/2024 21:26

I see that Harry has flown to Miami for an “ under the radar visit”. Apparently he is playing a polo match in aid of Sentebal .
Wonder if he will mention African Parks ?

GreenHome · 12/04/2024 21:50

Runnerinthenight · 12/04/2024 21:08

They do spout some shite don't they?

Well I suspect her more than him, because he doesn't have the brains to word it, and it's all California speak.

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california dialetic 😂

AliceOlive · 12/04/2024 22:37

Mylovelygreendress · 12/04/2024 21:26

I see that Harry has flown to Miami for an “ under the radar visit”. Apparently he is playing a polo match in aid of Sentebal .
Wonder if he will mention African Parks ?

The same youtube with the toast video has posted a bunch of pro H&M videos in the past 24 hours.

ChimneyPot · 12/04/2024 23:09

CC49 · 12/04/2024 18:40

Yes. She toasted bread that she herself did not bake. And then slathered it with apple butter that she herself did not make.

And then I lost interest and fast forwarded and caught her saying something about wearing a pajama top with a monogram and then I Xed out.

Show quote history

No. She told someone else to make toast.

DrJoanAllenby · 12/04/2024 23:19

'The first series will see The Duchess, otherwise known as Meghan Markle, celebrate the joys of cooking, gardening, entertaining, and friendship.'

Just before the 'and friendship' bit I heard the screech of a needle on a record!

Friendships? I thought she networked to meet people, they became best friends and when they've outlived their usefulness she drops them?!

AliceOlive · 12/04/2024 23:20

@ChimneyPot Maybe she gets overwhelmed with toast.

AssignedUnimportantAtBirth · 12/04/2024 23:33

IcedPurple · 12/04/2024 18:48

Was she 'drawn to acting'? Or did she just see it as an obvious way to try to become rich and famous, as a California girl raised on the fringes of the industry?

In her downtime from 'Suits' she never tried to improve her craft, and instead wrote a vapid lifestyle blog. She has also never expressed any interest in returning to acting since she married Harry. I think acting was a means to an end for her. Much like everything and everyone else in her life.

Show quote history

Probably drawn to becoming a star and the attention that entails, rather than the "craft" of acting. I think the lack of a theatre career, even just to fill in the CV gaps when no TV or film work was available, is a marker of someone who wants more than just the joy that acting per se can bring.

Runnerinthenight · 13/04/2024 00:38

Have you seen her outfit? As I said on the other thread, it looks like badly administered bandages and the height of her heels is just stupid for walking on grass!!

OneHeartySnail · 13/04/2024 01:09

That video is very funny 😂you couldn't even do a parody of it because it is already a parody of a cooking show!

OneHeartySnail · 13/04/2024 01:10

And the silk pyjama top 'you could put a monogram' on it 😂that was probably her image of being in the RF, monograms on everything...

garlictwist · 13/04/2024 04:16

I have to say I ready that as "polio". Polo seems much more up their street.

pilates · 13/04/2024 04:28

That picture of the horse is very upsetting 😔

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