Earl Spencer revelations

[LadyMuckonpancakes]

Just caught something about this online. It sounds horrific.

Yes what an awful thing to say

Poor man, he won’t be alone

Nicky Clarke has also spoken about the abuse he received.

Five years we had the Independent Inquiry into Sexual Abuse which dealt with the institutional abuse of children by those employed by the state.

At the time there was even less protection for those in a private boarding school. The great scandal imo is that the abuse of mostly small boys is still glossed over because of money.

It happened to me and the awareness and the compassion this generates helps me hugely.
Secrets hide in the dark and I need people like him to make me feel that someone might believe me.

It's horrific, I'll never understand why people send children to be brought up by people they have no idea about out, it fucks uo so many children, they don't get the love and support needed

Absolutely - DH boarded from 7 - the most significant difference, as far as I can tell, between children’s homes + boarding school is the source of the funding…

Seven

My dc need me I could never do it

@anxioussister - very little difference actually except social class and that one will receive a very good education.

I was sent to boarding school aged just 9. I stayed there until I finished A levels. It leaves an indelible mark on you. On the plus side I thrived starting university. Everyone else was desperately homesick but for me it was normal

And as for Nevill Holt…

It's just so sad. It baffles me that anyone sends their child to boarding school after these type of revelations. Obviously they think they are doing the best thing. I think a child without their parents to mind them is a vulnerable child. Children need their parents, even through their teen years.

Well why write about traumatic things at all, when you could write about sunshine and butterflies? Can you really not think why?

Its not one man though is it? It is many many men and older boys (who have clearly been shown that this is "normal" behaviour) Yes abuse can happen anywhere but there are places it is much higher risk

Actually never mind, there is no point engaging with people like this

Where’s the statement from the school as mentioned by a PP?

I do not think they always think that. Sometimes it is the convenient thing. I appreciated Spencer saying something - that a part of him died at this school, and then making the obvious connection that the consequent lack of empathy in public school boys who end up being politicians is a problem. It is. If you looked at these people without the prism of class, it would be clear a lot of them are very damaged. That includes members of my own family; and the sort of redundant macho behaviour where these concerns are dismissed is why it continues. Mercifully my family stopped sending their children by the 1960s. A favourite film in the house was IF by Lindsay Anderson where the pupils rebel and machine gun the teachers as a pay back for their sadism. They are revolting places imo

I'm wondering if Earl Spencer went on to send his own ?6 children to state/ non boarding schools. I do hope so.
I actually can not comprehend anyone could send their child to board at primary school age. Secondary not much better but less likely to suffer quietly

@almostspring2024 it’s surprising how many ex public school say they were desperately unhappy & then, guess where they send their sons & daughters?

He has a daughter at school at the moment. He says he asks her constantly if she is happy and if anything is making her uncomfortable. So he was probably like that with his other kids too who were brought up in S Africa. He and their mother separated.

The one/ones that boarded did so at secondary age as they wanted to apparently . Still shit to send your kids away at school age imo and that is without the experience that he had.

Did they board though?

MIL went to boarding school at a young age. She says she loved it. She is the most active and well adjusted mid 70 year old that I have ever come across. The other side to it is the type of very active person that lives a full life. So there are pros and cons.
DC’s cousins board as family work abroad. They had the option to return recently for a few years and offered DC to be day again. DC refused. They absolutely love boarding (they boarded from Year 9). There is a huge difference between young kids boarding and teens being around their friends all the time. However, I think even for teens, it suits certain personalities who like being “on” and in the thick of it all the time.

Anyone who has ever sent their DC on a sleepover or exchange or residential has exposed them to a risk of child sexual abuse. It is also a big risk for single mothers, step parents etc also a risk. Raising awareness and talking to children about it from a young age is really important. My DC were told about inappropriate touch in KS1 and school made a big fuss over anything inappropriate. What needs to happen is that all schools including private schools are heavily regulated to protect children. Sometimes private schools seem a law on to themselves. Thankfully safeguarding has improved and they are also easily failed now. Every person on site requires full vetting.

My mother went to boarding school very young. She hardly saw her parents from that time on and it massively damaged her. She had some horrific experiences there. Her brother was even younger and he loved it. However to essentially be without family your entire childhood must have damaged him too . They lived a long way away and the children went to relatives in the holidays.

In the interview I think he said 2 asked to be weekly boarders and were very happy. I hope his interview gives others the courage to speak out. The female who abused him was only in her early 20s at the time so is she still alive.

It would be good to see his abuser face justice. Hopefully it will happen. But if not, I hope that Charles Spencer at least feels a bit better having written his book. He’s shown courage.

I heard his interview with Laura K. He said that he would not send his own children to boarding school until they were teens (?) and even then only if they asked to go. 2 of his 7 children chose to weekly board as teenagers.

I feel like it was pprobably still unusual then for folk in his circle to not send their kids to boarding school, even though they had had such bad experiences there. So taking what he said at face value, good for him for choosing to break the cycle and keep his young children at home.