OMG. Lady Gabriella Windsor's husband. I did wonder. TW - suicide

[Geebray]

How bloody tragic, in so many ways. He appears to have shot himself.

Suicide is anything but selfish. Often those who take their own lives think they’re doing that best by those close to them by relieving them of the ‘burden’ of them & their issues.

I agree with this. I actually think mild stigma in society is a good thing - sometimes encouraging people to dwell on their feelings and drop standards isn’t actually in their best interests as it breeds lethargy, self pity and further entrench depression. But for major MH issues like this, I suspect stigma wouldn’t have prevented it.

I do understand what you’re saying. I’m saying from the point of view of those left behind it must seem selfish. I’m not saying it is selfish.

When I felt this way, I had a baby daughter, I love her more than anything and felt that although growing up without me would be awful, having a mentally unwell mother holding her back in life and causing her worry, distress and anguish over many many many years would be worse than ‘ripping the plaster off’. Luckily I recovered and no longer feel this way. But you honestly think the short sharp shock of bereavement and the entailing grief would be better than putting up with you for another 30, 40, 50 years, ruining their lives.

I have the deepest sympathy for you. I’m so glad you recovered. My father was admitted to hospital as a young man due to suicidal thoughts. He said the pain was unbearable.

Suicide rates are not climbing, though. Where did you get that from?

I’m so sorry for his wife and family, I was also shocked at this, such a brutal way to go. I can’t imagine his mental state. The trauma of this for his family will be something that lives with them forever. They will clearly know more about what was happening in the lead up to this. It’s so utterly sad.

Oh no - his poor dad. I feel massive sympathy for Gabriella and his mother too.

There is neither correlation or causation. Suicide rates are not going up.

Exactly.

@WombOfOnesOwn I already posted a couple of graphs showing how suicidal rates have dropped since 1980 and remained roughly stable in the last 20 years, but the rates at which suicide has fallen since the 1870s is even clearer in this image. It’s from a peer reviewed journal article, so it’s not just some random MN anecdata.

https://academic.oup.com/ije/article/39/6/1464/736597

This is so sad. The most recent photos of Tom on Valentines day show a very healthy, smiling man. One never knows what goes on inside the walls of someones mind.
His poor parents & Lady Gabriella.

I don't think the be kind stuff is about destigmatising suicide. Rather, it's about destigmatising talking about suicide and poor mental health in general.

How terribly, terribly sad. For all concerned and for his dad to have discovered him. Unbearable.

Yes we should go back to berating the memory of people who take their own lives and refusing them burial in a Christian graveyard.

Very interesting. And also to note that it seems the sharp drops are around / just before/during conflict (e.g. WW1/WW2), I suppose when people have some sort of common purpose and clear objectives, structured days (for those who were conscripted). My dad (RIP) who suffered from depression always said his happiest days were when he was doing his national service.

I wonder what the data is for the period during lockdown - a time when we all felt we pulled together as a nation. I'm theorising that maybe suicide rates went down but then now, after, we are feeling the effects of that weird, weird time, not to mention the economic and geopolitical precarious situation we're in.

The news of his death was embargoed until 6pm that evening. Their attendance helped maintain a veneer of business as usual.

Even though the palace denied it I still think Williams's absence was connected. Maybe there was word that the news was about to break with all the sorry details and he needed to attend in person to persuade a judge to put some sort of injunction on it.

Those statistics about suicide are really interesting, thanks for posting them. I can’t see any way in which creating more judgement around suicide would cause a drop in suicides. To be suicidal you are not thinking rationally, you just want to end the pain. Also useful to see that suicide rates are going down overall not up!

Nah,that’s not how it works . They issue an embargoed statement and it’s normally respected as the entity who embargo can retaliate. You don’t need a judge. My company embargoes. It’s very common.

At his age a sudden death was only ever going to be one of a handful of things. So very, very sad.

A friend killed himself many years ago and none of us who were close to him could have possibly anticipated it, but the guilt of thinking that you should have never goes away.

Why would there be any embargo on the cause of death of a minor royal connection? And why for a few hours? It was pretty clear it would be a suicide by the reporting. Awful for the family, and beyond letting close friends and family know there's no public interest in a delay that I can imagine.

This incredibly sad death has nothing to do with William and it would be extraordinarily inappropriate for him to intervene even had he been close to the deceased.

It seems to me to be in extremely bad taste to be linking William's absence to this event.

How desperately sad for Lady Gabriella. I can't even begin to think how you would cope with something like that.

It's so true that none of us really know what is going on in someone else's head.

His poor father. It must have been so traumatic for him.

Exactly. Just awful for everyone.

William swerved Gabriella’s wedding in favour of a football match, he was attending it in an official capacity. It’s unlikely therefore, that he’d have been altering his plan to give a reading at a memorial in order to commiserate with her.

She has closer family and plenty of friends for support, I’m sure (not that I know her). She and her husband were friendly with Pippa, his ex - she’s more likely than her BiL William to be keen to comfort Gabriella I’d have thought.

William’s actions on Tuesday and the sad suicide are definitely unlinked.

I'm not sure a dead person is worrying about perceived stigma.

There's a reason it's now better to say died by suicide rather than committed suicide.