Princess of Wales ad family

[Desperate2023]

Wishing, Princess Kate a speedy and full recovery from me and my family.
Looking forward to Kate and William doing their bit for the UK soon.
A great family that is adored around the world.

Dangerous domestic setting: William forgot to change the batteries in the smoke alarm. It's beeping and driving everyone into a wild rage.

I know what you're asking here - I'm not sure if you're specifically implying anything, but I too have wondered what happens if anyone who's married into the RF is in a dangerous situation.
The sarcastic comments are unnecessary, and at least one poster is one who's usually very supportive of women who are in a vulnerable domestic position - but not when you're royal, and potentially in an even more terrifying situation if you feel trapped.
And no, I'm not suggesting DV, there are many potentially dangerous situations in this scenario. In this specific case, I hope what we've been told is correct, and that she's recovering well. Post-surgery can be utterly grim, and very tedious.

Well if you are not suggesting DV, what are you suggesting? What does "dangerous domestic setting" mean? Why are you having a go at a poster for not supporting another poster on their frankly wild conjecture of DV - which is a different thing entirely to supporting women actually suffering DV?

@Jabbertalky either family would help out, or they would be stuck.

I said I'm not personally suggesting that - there are lots online who are suggesting that, though.
Mumsnet is full of stories of dangerous/threatening/suffocating domestic situations.
Very many recent royals seemed to have it all, yet when their stories came they had been desperately unhappy.
It's not a stretch to consider that there could be an element of this in their marriage too. I'm not completely sure what I think is going on, but I'm not wholly convinced it's what we've been told - whether or not it's my business, it does interest me!

Mumsnet is full of stories of dangerous/threatening/suffocating domestic situations.

This is all DV. DV isn't just punches thrown. It includes emotional and financial abuse and social isolation, in particular from family and friends. What is your evidence for this happening to Catherine other than social media comments (from the Sussex Squad, I assume).

Very many recent royals seemed to have it all, yet when their stories came they had been desperately unhappy.

Very many royals? Who? Diana? 30 years ago is not recent. Who are these other recent royals experiencing a DV situation that has been shared with the public?

Kensington Palace were very clear of what would happen when and nothing really has changed from that. They said she had an operation, she would be in hospital for 2 weeks or so, would recuperate and will make an appearance after Easter. They also said we wouldn't hear anymore unless there was a change. It's the end of February - we have a full month till Easter.

Think it through and think back to Elizabeth. There is no way that Kate could be sent on the trail looking anything but fighting fit whilst the glare of everyone's cameras will be on her. So yes - many of us will be told to crack on with work 2 - 3 weeks after a major abdominal surgery but most us will have the privacy to have waves of nausea which we can settle away from others, or the privacy to deal with wincing if stiches pull, or the ability to wear an leggings or looser fit work clothes on a tight day, or the ability to work from home if you're not quite up to it. Kate cannot. Her previous work output notwithstanding, it is absolutely understandable that Kate can only return when she looks and sounds in the best health. You will remember that Elizabeth did her absolute best to hide her walking aids in the last decades of her life.

A lot of sense here

Couldn't resist the lazy dig.

I'd have classed it all as domestic abuse, rather than violence- ie ime violence is usually a physical thing, and abuse can be physical/emotional/sexual/all of the above. So that's what I was personally referring to.

Recent royals - pretty much anyone from the past generation or two. Of course 30 years isn't a long time when talking about families and generations. Diana wasn't the only one, for goodness sake.
Diana, Fergie, Margaret, Meghan, Harry, off the top of my head, have all been deeply unhappy within the RF. Two of them are blood royals too.

Again, i didnt say it is happening- I'm discussing possibilities on a chat forum! Many people were speculating on many things like this long before her surgery.

Recent is not 30 years ago. Or 40 or 50 years ago, if you want to bring Margaret into it. Sarah Ferguson was not happy not to be making money. She's been pretty happy with her post divorce career, continued royal connections and life as a quasi royal, not to mention shacking up with her ex husband in luxury. Harry and Meghan are not the victims of domestic abuse, unless they have been perpetrating it against one another. Unhappy that you are not getting things all your own way does not equal being abused.

Many people were speculating on many things like this long before her surgery.

Yes, Sussex Squad.

It's an odd one with the Prince and Princess of Wales.

Everyone agreed it was a proper love match when they met and got together at uni.

Obviously the match has hugely advanced the financial fortune of all the Middleton family.

I do wonder though, if they were just bog standard private rich people, if they'd actually have stayed the course? They've had the heir and spare and then another.

The Princess of Wales seems more of private, family person.

She doesn't seem to hugely love any of the causes she's expected to be linked to or really enjoy the role apart from being a mum which is fine.

She seems content to be like her own happy mum and she looks fine, but has not evolved into some super-glam aristocrat, but maybe that's why William has been linked with Rose.

Kate's own parents and family stability and normality were definitely a draw when William was young and getting over the loss of his own mother.

But I'm not sure that's enough now.

Seeing her life scrutinised to this degree, whilst her uni friends marry and enjoy the lifestyle without all the press and Men in Grey suits influence....

Pippa must live an amazing lifestyle with none of the hassle, but also I think the "family connection" would have helped James make his mind up.

So Kate's stuck in the pressurised role whilst her family benefits from the marriage.

I definitely don't think they're at screaming Diana and Charles level of tension - too mature for that and it was a choice to make a family.

But I wonder if they are just like (say) Peter and Autumn Philips -

Super attracted to each other when they first met and a love match as Autumn was "different" but a bit of a marriage of convenience now?

With the cracks showing a bit - they had Harry and Meghan to pick on and criticise when they were here, but now they have to deal with each other and can't transfer their problems onto the "family scapegoat".

A lot of the issues described in Spare seem to be Kate and William blaming the new person for any existing unhappiness.

William claims Meghan is upsetting Kate for completely trivial reasons and goes angry, as if he's this super protective partner.

(but this sounds like one of those guys who publicly claims he'll "do time" for his kids but its to compensate that he turns the TV on and falls asleep drunk in private).

And unlike Peter and Autumn they can't discreetly separate.

I mean I'd be impressed if ANY couple who met at 20 or 21 were able to peacefully stay the course, as people grow and change so much over 20 years.

I agree with a pp on another thread, if there was a chance for a soft exit, stay friends and good co-parents with none of the commitments...I think they'd take it for sure.

I said they were all deeply unhappy and possibly felt trapped. There are many reasons they could have been unhappy, not just domestic abuse.
And we'll have to agree to disagree about whether or not the current royals and their immediate relatives are recent.

Maybe the sussexes did sow seeds, but I don't read anything much about them, so I've no idea if they've directly said anything 🤷🏼‍♀️

Some unpleasant and totally unfounded suggestions on here.
We don't know about the Wales" marriage because they are private about their relationship and family life. They don't do interviews or tv shows or talk about each other or their children in any detail. They clearly guard their family well, which I applaud. It's rare these in these days of significant over sharing.
We know that Kate had abdominal surgery and is recovering. We know that William withdrew from the Greek RF memorial at short notice.
Nothing else. I think some of the wilder conjectures on the William thread are best left there.

Well @Twonewcats you have gone from agreeing with a post implying DV and talking about “dangerous situations” in the domestic setting, to talking about deep unhappiness. Goal posts moving much? You do realise that, as per your own argument about who is a “recent” royal, Margaret, Anne, Sarah Ferguson and Diana, far from being “trapped” , all managed to get divorced and go on to have other lives and relationships. WRT the younger generation, the only example of someone unhappy is Harry and Meghan, who were not trapped either, as they now live their lives as faux royals on their terms in California after an incredibly short lived time as married, working royals. The only case against William and Catherine being where they want to be is, as per the above post by Chessing, a load of discredited gossip and a book full of the sensationalist drivel of a pot head with a clear agenda against his brother. But since you don’t follow the Sussexes, I will have to accept your innocent take on it all.

I am not saying this is what is happening in this situation at all, and fwiw I think Kate and her birth family can look after themselves, but however mad the suggestion seems, I don’t think on principle, that it is a good idea to completely discount the possibility of dh or coercive control in ANY marriage as the whole point is that it happens in every domestic setting and in every echelon of society.

I know someone unfortunately who suffered from dv and her dh was very high up in the hierarchy of a RG university. Everyone was completely shocked when it became known inside the JCR what had happened. Even then it didn’t come out publicly.

There was recently a very sad and shocking case which ended tragically involving the headmistress of a prestigious school.

My point is that these things ARE unpleasant to contemplate. Everyone wants to believe that the people we know and admire and our friends and family are in happy marriages.

As a separate point, one of my objections to monarchy and the RF is that it does place the key players under intolerable psychological scrutiny and strain, producing a situation where they are all under a lot of pressure to conform. And all for what? I don’t agree that a monarchy per se brings stability even if it does bring historical continuity.

I agree that the soap opera aspects of it related to the individuals in the RF are all are very unpleasant indeed.

How many of us would enjoy having our brother dictate our budget or our mother in law proscribe what we could wear and how we should behave?

Any of us who have experienced life in a family business knows that the set up can be a force for enormous strength and coherence or it can be extremely problematic, depending on the performance of the individuals concerned and the objectivity, effectiveness and fairness of the management.

The entire set up of the RF - given the huge pressure to conform - and the necessity for secrecy - isn’t exactly a recipe for personal happiness is it? And the divorce rate within the family would seem to reflect that. So I don’t think any of this speculation is totally without foundation and on a public discussion forum it’s inevitable that the marriage of the heir is discussed whether you find that acceptable or not.

Edited to say: x posts with Mymilkshakebringsallthepapstomycar

Well I don't think we should forget that the 'romantic fairy tale' of William and Kate was rather one sided. He was having his cake and eating it keeping her waiting and hoping whilst he had a succession of other girlfriends whilst she also dated but was clearly just hoping he'd finally fix on her. He did in the end but we have no way of knowing how she feels about that years later - particularly if she now thinks he's having other affairs. Why should she be constrained by the gilded cage and not him?

I've always felt it's a dreadful life as a royal and that's one strong reason why it should be ended. I don't think there's much real privacy even at home with drivers, staff and security around. Those closest to them will know about affairs and arguments and tension and that would add to the humiliation of a scorned wife. To be frank if you've put all your life goals and purpose on bagging a Prince then it must be very hard to pivot to a new vision of what you want from your life. We often see here on MN how hard it is for women in long term conventional marriages that are going south to envisage leaving or becoming independent. If you've had nothing else to build your self esteem on it's very hard to see yourself as an independent person with agency in charge of their fate. I don't think ex royal wives have had an easy ride or found their peace very comfortably.

Does she even have many friends to support her? Are her family there? Her sister was clearly away on holiday but who else is there. There's been very little coverage if any over the years of her and a close group of female friends.

Goodness me, it’s all gone a bit extreme on here and some heinous accusations being thrown around.

its very clear something is very not right medically with Kate and they are respecting her privacy as she wished , and focusing on her and the kids. This is the right thing to do, even though they will be fully aware it will cause some people to go to town on their speculations.

I think it’s just purely the very long recovery time and basic media blackout that is causing speculation.

She may not feel up to work for 3 months following surgery and that is fair enough. But she’s always at the kid’s sports games - my friend sees her often. It’s a big step for her I think to miss all that.

All surgery is different but 3 months of being house bound is long. And I agree - no message from her saying ‘thanks for all the get well wishes, I’m recovering well at home’ Nothing. You can say she doesn’t have to but it is in stark contrast to KC who is sending people cards! And is very visible.

I think it’s known as broadening the discussion isn’t it after the first 30 posts or so? Very normal.

I agree with you though that it’s more likely she’s had a straightforward operation and possibly a post op infection which is very mundane and common. I wish her well anyway.

Does she even have many friends to support her? Are her family there? Her sister was clearly away on holiday but who else is there. There's been very little coverage if any over the years of her and a close group of female friends.

Kate is known to have plenty of friends, many dating back to St Andrews (Tatler or similar did a run down on them a while ago) but they are all very private people so you won’t see them socialising publically.

As I said elsewhere, William said thank you to the well wishers in his speech at the BAFTAS. And I don’t think the King has been sending cards, he was shown reading cards from well wishers. He is clearly currently doing ok with his treatment, so he is happy to be seen. If the Princess has had abdominal surgery, she will at the very least be uncomfortable and will probably not want to face the public until she feels absolutely ready. As is her right

A little girl was in the paper as she’d received a card from KC (probably typed by someone else but still).
William saying thanks is different to a message from her.

Of course it’s her right to remain in private. But 3 months is a very long time to be out of the public eye. That’s a long recovery. You can’t dispute that. As we can see, that is causing the speculation.

Not really. The original statement said she would be out of action until Easter on medical advice. That still stands. And William said thank you on her behalf. She may well thank everyone herself when she is ready. She may already have thanked some people in private who have not felt the need to pass this fact on to the rest of us. How many times does she have to say thank you?