Valentine Low book "Courtiers" Extra chapters for paperback. About statement after Oprah interview

[RYGO]

While they were as concerned as anyone about not getting into a tit-for-tat with Harry and Meghan, William and Kate were clear which side of the debate they were on. “They wanted it toughened up a bit,” said the insider. “They were both of one mind that we needed something that said that the institution did not accept a lot of what had been said.

“He said, ‘It is really important that you guys come up with the right way of making sure that we are saying that this does not stand.’ She was certainly right behind him on it.”

While some have attributed “recollections may vary” to Alderton, more than one source has said that the author was in fact Jean-Christophe Gray, William’s new private secretary, who had been in post for less than three weeks. At least two senior officials in other households were against its inclusion, because they feared that it would rile Harry and Meghan. But once the phrase had been added to the draft, it was — according to another source — the Duchess of Cambridge who pressed home the argument that it should remain. “It was Kate who clearly made the point, ‘History will judge this statement and unless this phrase or a phrase like it is included, everything that they have said will be taken as true.’ ”

This was, said the source, yet another example of how Kate is often far steelier than she appears. The toughened-up draft went to Buckingham Palace for approval, and came back a couple of hours later. The Queen had said yes.

The four-sentence statement was eventually released just before 5.30pm on Tuesday. It said, “The whole family is saddened to learn the full extent of how challenging the last few years have been for Harry and Meghan. The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning. While some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately. Harry, Meghan and Archie will always be much loved family members.”

I don't remember he being blamed, it was a terrible tragedy, but no way Kate was at fault. she must have been devastated by it.

Don't remember about gifts being incinerated - when did that happen?

Do remember lots of occasions when they have been redistributed (hospitals, charities, other community organisations etc)

Acceptance of gifts isn't "made up protocol" - there's a formal, written policy (much linked on MN to illustrate issues icw the Yorks - I'll see if I can find it if you're interested)

giftspolicy2003.pdf (royal.uk)

Not sure if this is the most recent iteration, but this is an example of the written gift policy.

The Queen must have missed the memo, The Guardian reported that there is missing jewellery that had been gifted.

Do you mean standing on the hospital steps just before they leave with their new baby?

It is cruel imo. And I’m not sure what it’s about really . It’s not like anyone can really see the little baby. Something to do with a perceived public ownership over womens’ bodies, I guess. If it was men, it would never happen.

I’m Glad to know Kate was not blamed for the radio prank.

It's not missing in the sense that it's been lost.

The pieces have clearly not be transferred formally to the Royal Collection Trust, but they are still being worn and lent around the senior royal women. But that doesn't mean anyone has hoofed off with it personally. I mean, they're not exactly items one can sell for personal gain. So it's not clear at present whether this is any more than a paperwork issue (something hinted at by the "yet" in the article)

I do note that loads of people blamed Kate for going out on a balcony in a private estate more than half a mile from the nearest road without a bikini top on, so yes, so completely agree the woman will always be blamed.

Yep, absolutely

Aye, that's a nice link, a good document.

It clearly states that gifts can be received as long as nothing is expected back - say like honours etc. which H&M were not granting anyway.

Among the rules and exception that allow keeping gifts is this line :
In addition, if perishable official gifts with a value less than £150 are not to be personally used or consumed by the Member of The Royal Family, in order to avoid waste, they may be given to charities or other third parties, including, for the avoidance of doubt, staff.

And it terms of personal gifts it clearly states that they can pass these on to staff or sell them if they wish.

So, there is no blanket "they are not allowed gifts" protocol or rule.

I 100% agree with you and I think social media is a HUGE part of the problem. Twitter, Facebook,... were not as big then as they are now so a lot of the Kate hate was actually on royal blogs, forums,... while Meghan gets hate on big social media platforms. This is bigger than the RF and the British media. So many people have been complaining for years that social media companies should step up and properly deal with harassment and racism on social media. I remember I was racially abused on Instagram last year, I reported the comments and Instagram responded, telling me that no community guidelines were violated. The same happens to a lot of people.

I think about so many young people today who commit suicide because of harassment on social media. Harassment at school has always existed but it was easier to tackle then because it only happened face to face. Now, it's gotten so much worse with social media.

Oh really? What do you call what another poster wrote below? Is that not dismissing/downplaying what Kate went through? Neither you or the other pro Sussex fans are going to convince me that being called vile names (which Catherine has also suffered from) is anywhere close to having non consensual naked photos leaked online or a phone getting hacked (which are illegal):

Kate has not been treated worse by the media.

Apart from the volume of bullying critical sexist articles written about Meghan, Kate has never experienced anything like the Clarkson Shame piece of vile vomitus.

I mean, no one can deny that was the worst, right?

No I don't think it is downplaying it at all. The fact is, the Clarkson piece is particularly vile, it is far worse than anything anyone else has written about any of them, hence the IPSO ruling. Racism is an extra layer on top of the misogyny, intersectional feminism recognises this. There are Neo nazis in prison for their harassment and threats against Harry and Meghan. Acknowledging these things isn't condoning or minimising anyone intruding on someones privacy.

It would certainly create a toxic atmosphere, to the verge of being abusive, to expect your staff to respond to every criticism via social media or traditional media. No wonder his staff were breaking down when they were being put under that kind of pressure.

Harry had the nerve to blame the staff for not being able to take ‘constructive criticism’. What a crappy jerk of a boss:

It didn't help that everyone was working around the clock. There were so many demands from the press, such a constant stream of errors that needed clearing up, and we didn't have nearly enough people or resources.
"At best, we were able to address 10 percent of what was out there. Nerves were shattering, people were sniping.
"In such a climate there was no such thing as constructive criticism. All feedback was seen as an affront, an insult.

Yes, it was just the staff being too sensitive to take in constructive criticism. It surely couldn't be the bosses themselves who were at fault for causing their staff to break down. Why, it's the media’s fault, the palace’s fault. The staff should have been grateful for the gift sharing and lights and heaters. How dare they demand to be treated like human beings with feelings and lives outside work.

It would certainly create a toxic atmosphere, to the verge of being abusive, to expect your staff to respond to every criticism via social media or traditional media.

Well you've once again made assumptions. Where is it said he expected them to respond to everything? I assume their office ran like all the others and those trying to do their job found it overwhelming in volume. How is that Harrys fault? I mean, that's a reach. He is to blame for the circus the media created?

Again, you are inserting your own views and facts in there. the staff being too sensitive to take in constructive criticism Where does this come from? What is it in relation to? The staff should have been grateful for the gift sharing and lights and heaters. Again, where does this come from, who said this?
How dare they demand to be treated like human beings with feelings and lives outside work. What is this in relation to? Who said they couldn't;t have lives outside of work? Where are you getting all this from.

Is being called ‘slut’, or ‘whore’ to Catherine’s face not as bad as what Clarkson wrote? How about the videos I posted where the paparazzi were literally stalking her? By you not acknowledging that what Catherine suffered with the naked photos and phone hacking is equally vile/perhaps even slightly worse (as these were crimes committed against her), you are definitely downplaying/minimizing what she went through.

There were so many demands from the press, such a constant stream of errors that needed clearing up, and we didn't have nearly enough people or resources.
"At best, we were able to address 10 percent of what was out there. Nerves were shattering, people were sniping.

From his own words. Why were the staff’s nerves being shattered if they weren't being put under pressure to address the ‘stream of errors that needed clearing up’?

He is certainly to blame for the toxic atmosphere that was created and his staff breaking down. I find that the abusive bullying bosses are the ones who tend to blame everyone else but themselves for the ‘toxic atmosphere’ created in a work environment where staff are breaking down. It's the management’s responsibility to ensure that that kind of negativity doesn't happen in the work environment in the first place.

It’s called sarcasm, but if you must know, it came from harry himself or did you not read his book?

"In such a climate there was no such thing as constructive criticism. All feedback was seen as an affront, an insult.

No I don't think it is downplaying it at all.

The poster cannot for the life her accept that you are agreeing with her that what Kate suffered with was absolutely atrocious. Without a doubt. And criminal.

Her argument is that Kate going through this absolutely trumps the racism and xenophobia that Meghan experienced in addition to the misogyny. She ascribes to the zero sum school of thought - that if she acknowledges that Meghan may have had additional hurdles that takes away from Kate. And that Meghan hate is now a multimillion pound industry which now extremely lucrative. It drives clicks and tv advertising (panel shows discuss her incessantly). It drives forum engagement.

posters keep mentioning Kate being called a slut/whore, where was that written?

Yes, its sad isn't it, to see people feel the need to downplay the racism by coming in to make a huge issue of the sexism Kate endured, all the royal women have faced it, including Meghan.

Paparazzi tried to get a reaction from her they could take their stupid photos by shouting these insults her. Much like they stick their tongues out and pull faces at the children to try and get a reaction. The paparazzi really are the absolute dregs of society.

What is sarcasm? If that was your intention it doesn't;t come across that way. You wrote a whole lot of emotive things in there that looked like Harry or Meghan had said them. So perhaps be more careful with your posts if you do not mean to attribute words to someone you are talking about.

https://twitter.com/isaguor/status/1574505363780558870

Samcro, this kind of thing.

@MamoruHisaishi please stop this. I have written on here plenty of times that I like Kate. I’ve never criticised her. And I’ve also said that she did indeed experience sexism and classism. I’ve written this on this very thread. So please don’t use just one of my posts to try and make it sound that I’m unreasonable, or unfair to Kate, in an effort to support your argument.

You are misrepresenting me.

I can’t put everything I think about the Royal Family members one post, no one can. If we did we’d be writing books. Be fair.