Did Harry get the better deal

[Labradorandshiraz]

I can’t even imagine the prison of being Williamsnd Kate and I honestly feel this even though I’ve no staff or palaces. The hours with their children on show during a coronation, their children criticised, security concerns, the time alone coordinating outifts. The hours over the coronation weekend and then a public engagement with kids. Imagine having everyone photograph you when you are bloated with your period or fighting with your husband that day. I sm
not saying women over 40 should be invisible but that the pressure to look hot while playing tennis just shouldn’t be on you as a Mum of 3.

I think the claustrophobia of it is also the weight in their shoulders since the coronation. The royal family rides on the media and without fashion and royals of varying ages and babies and events, the media lose interest. The weight is firmly on those senior working royals.

I just find them utterly claustrophobic to watch especially the kids. I wonder why the British public doesn’t question it. They’re not being poorly treated but doing official engagements at 6 ?

Yes the royal family is steeped in history but so are many things, that doesn’t make it right. It does mean people just don’t question it.

Is it right for children to grow up like that ? We see the end result for child celebrities and the many royals who’ve ended up fairly unhappy and obsessed with their own fragile ego and identities.

I don’t get it and I can’t help but feel the Sussex children got the better end of the deal.

I thjnk if I were Kate I’d ask my husband to give it all up. Why don’t they ? Take a duchy and run !!!!

I have often thought that George was a bit anxious-looking at the formal times we saw the children. It must have been at the recent Trooping of the Colour, when we saw the three of them in a carriage and then on the balcony, that I thought he looked more relaxed.
He's reminded me of Prince Charles sometimes, the eldest and therefore the heir, and probably quite a responsible and serious child.

Of course, I’d forgotten that. Makes it even less likely that William would step out though

I think Anne and Edward have a great balance. Get to do some fun stuff, and then fade into the background as required. Leave all the limelight and heavy lifting to Charles and William and spouses while they get to knock off early and find a car bar.

No sympathy for Kate. She knew what she was getting into.

And as for the others we all have burdens to bare in life. It may be an isolated life to an extent but those in that family will have a wonderful education, go places and meet people us commoners could only dream of. Plus they are warm and fed and are a family and that's what us commoners have been told is all we need so surely that's good enough for them too.

I would rather me isolated in my clean castle, with my servants and family and food than poor and isolated. All well and good having freedom to go on holiday etc but it doesn't happen when you have no money despite working and every last penny goes on food and your still short

@quietnightmare
No sympathy for Kate. She knew what she was getting into.

I like Kate but I'm disappointed she's been moaning about her lot in life? What did she say? 🤔

I dont think she's said anything negative.

I dont think she'd be looking for sympathy. She seems happy with the life she's living

Very funny , made me laugh out loud

I've never heard her moan. Even when the paps released naked photos of her, she went out the next day, she greeted everyone with a smile. I'd have been, 'what're you lookin at, mister? 😠"
But I just assumed she must have said something asking for sympathy otherwise why would someone say they had none?

What a strange thread. Kate and William seem to be very happy, leading very productive lives, and are popular and respected in the UK and abroad.

Harry has no particular role and is widely considered something of a laughing stock. Far from being 'free' he's so desperate to cling on to the vestiges of royalty that he's given titles to his children.

I remember when they put out the video of them playing chasing with the kids, I thought how difficult it must be to properly have fun, you know when things go ridiculously chaotic and you’re all laughing properly- imagine having an audience!! Also in h and m’s documentary there was a bit where they were ‘on holiday’ and on a yacht and the adults are pointing out to sea at something to show the children and they panned the camera to land and there were a ton of photographers snapping pictures of what would otherwise have been such a beautiful holiday/teaching moment. I thought it was so sad

Did Harry get the better deal?

Williams kids will always attract more attention and I guess they do need to learn to be comfortable in public.

As spare Harry could have had a easy life, Ann & Ed seem to be having a grand time. Their kids and Anns husband are rarely seen in public other than big family events, funerals and weddings.

Just be where you need to be, dressed appropriately cut ribbons, and know enough about who you are meeting to make some conversation, ask relevant questions. It's a busy life, and probably exhausting at times but an easy life, no financial worries.

Harry thought going it alone would be easy, but he's found out the hard way, if you don't produce the goods in the real world you'll not be making money.
He must be stressing over their future and question did he do the right thing.

Freedom at the expense of his family relationships, friendships.

I disagree he looked tense and ignored her. She put her hand out, it looks like to stop him stepping back further and he looks in her direction then they step forward.

You are here saying about much pressure they must be under and expressing how sorry you feel for them. Then analysis every their ever move and look to suggest they are unhappy.

I imagine that side of their life is quite stressful. Having someone analyse every move and look must get tedious. There’s always going to be clips that look one way if you take a still and doesn’t represent the real situation. Having people consistently watch your behaviour and talk about how your marriage is just a front and is unhappy must be irritating.

Let’s pretend their marriage is shit. Not many couples having problems make sure everyone in public knows.

However they have huge privilege. I am a few weeks older than William and I always remember thinking growing up, that Harry had the better deal, though to be honest. The privilege but less obligation.

I don’t think Harry has the better deal now tbh. Lots of stress, less privilege (though still a huge amount of privilege). Still has lots of people unhelpfully speculating about his marriage. But because they have stepped away from the Royal Family, it’s talked about in the US media a lot more.

I think the kids are fine. The appearances are controlled. Their kids have been brought up like this. I imagine my 12 years old wouldn’t cope very well in those circumstances but he hasn’t been brought up with that as the norm. Those kids will not have the same stresses ours do. They won’t need to worry about 50k of Uni debt. Or striving to get a first to compete on the job market.

I think H&M kids will also have a nice life. As they would have done if they stayed.

@Labradorandshiraz Totally agree with your original post.

What a life.... hugely privileged, rich beyond anyone's imagination but having to bring up three little children, with their destiny mapped out, absolutely dreadful IMO.
They are already labelled... George the dutiful one, Charlotte perfect and Louis the 'family clown'. (Before anyone jumps on me for saying that, I was appalled to hear Lorraine Kelly say that when on the sofa chatting to two others, one of whom called him 'the naughty one'

Anyone saying we barely see them... what?! I feel we see them loads! Football matches, all this royal stuff from Coronation to funerals, going to school, church services, Christmas etc.

Just dreadful bringing children up into this goldfish bowl with the public awwwing and ahhhhing over them and gawping at their clothes, smiles, sulks, every little bit of them. Basically, they are on display.

As for 'grab a Duchy' and live a quiet life, William already has one! And could walk away but never would, it would be the end of the Monarchy for sure if he did.
Well done Harry getting out.
Something's gotta give... imagine the media talking about the female married ins for Louis and George, it will be horrendous, who would want that for their children.

The times you see the Royal kids, trooping the colour, first day of the school year, walking to church at Christmas.
The occasional engagement, like the one they did as a family with scouts.

The events like watching football or tennis really they are in the audience they aren't who people are paying to see. The focus is elsewhere.

You don't see them in theme parks or on holidays with their parents, skiing or whatever. Much less of a goldfish bowl than Williams own childhood.

If they are anywhere public, they are photographed.

Just dreadful bringing children up into this goldfish bowl with the public awwwing and ahhhhing over them and gawping at their clothes, smiles, sulks, every little bit of them. Basically, they are on display.

As for 'grab a Duchy' and live a quiet life, William already has one! And could walk away but never would, it would be the end of the Monarchy for sure if he did.
Well done Harry getting out.

The fly in the ointment is that Harry and Meghan use their titles at every possible opportunity and even (unnecessarily) claimed titles for their children.

Making his dc 'prince' and 'princess' in the US will expose them to a massive goldfish bowl - without any of the protective machinery that the RF can offer to Kate and William's children, who mostly lead very private and protected lives. Thanks to the steadying influence of the Middletons, those children will have the best of all worlds.

I'm not sure that's true. A couple of years ago I saw Kate, her parents, and the three children at a family day out attraction type place (we live vaguely near her parents). I recognised them, but I think it looked like they were pretty much left alone.

As I said upthread, I wouldn't want to be Kate as I wouldn't want the intrusion. But it was surprising to see them running around and playing with all the other children. I'd have been stressed about a tantrum, or any less than perfect behaviour being noticed far more in them than in another child though.

Really?
I haven't seen Prince Archie or Princess Lillibet mentioned in the US press. Like it or not, they are their titles, how or if ever they use them, is up to them.

As for H&M, the last time Harry was somewhere and actually said 'Just Call Me Harry' he had the piss taken out of him on MN endlessly. So much so, that posters were changing their name to JCMH and similar, just to ridicule and insult him. So what's the point ... I'd use Prince Harry if I were him.

they are prince and princess, why should they not use it, its their birthright.
(awaits oh but anne didn't)

They couldn't escape the attention even if they abdicated. They have fucking huge estates where they can do whatever they like. I'm sure there are social events they can go to as well.

The only thing they can't do is rub shoulders with the hoi polloi without it being recorded/reported - I'm not sure they are longing to do that. People in their social class have staff to do shopping, gardening etc for them anyway. It's not like they're longing to get down to Sainsbury's with Lynn from Romford.

Prince Harry has learned that stepping down doesn't mean no more attention or security threats etc. He's mid 30s? Give it ten years or so and he'll be a washed-up has-been wishing he could be opening fetes in exchange for several palaces and buckets of money.

Thats not true. they are picked up everyday from school we don't see pictures of that. they are often out and about in Norfolk, eating at the local pub at the cinema, on the beach, at the farm park, buying sweets etc in the local shops. No one posts pictures. They play in school teams against other schools, never seen anyone post photos. They have friends and go to peoples' houses and children's parties, no photos. They have tennis lessons and football lessons at admittedly pretty exclusive clubs but there are no photos. They were on holiday with their grandparents at Easter and no photos. I am not saying it's perfect but its not true that they are photographed everywhere in public because they are not.

There is a video on Tik Tok of William on a bike ride just outside of their estate and both very upset and presumably children nearby and this is just the dramas we know about William argument with photographer family bike ride

I guess my point is it’s claustrophobic and I think there’s a lot of power and money at stake for them to put up with this and for all
the arguments in the royal family over the years.

The idea it’s all just about service and charity is not true in my opinion

How on earth do you know all this if there are no photos?!!!

Of course no one sees them being picked up from school, it is a very exclusive prep school that looks like a country estate with a long driveway, no way could paparazzi or anyone drive up to the school and start taking photos! I would think all cars entering the area would be logged.

Anyway, back to the point of my post... if they are at Wimbledon tennis, a football match anywhere pubic (not some school friend's house, or being picked up from school or anything like that) they are photographed intensely. There's always about 20 pics of George watching football and such like. Photos of them are splashed everywhere.

I just think and the reason I raised this is it’s claustrophobic and yes I think they’re raising their children beautifully. I don’t think the kids are that hard done by I just don’t think it would be Kate’s first choice to raise her children like that.

Evertone always says about Kate and Meghan “they’re lucky to not have debt and should be grateful, should never complain”.

The reality is that even without the Princes they’d have probably landed very wealthy men because those are the circles they swim in.

the question isn’t about money but privacy. Should any woman have to raise her children under that scrutiny or be critiqued at that level.

I don’t understand why the UK is this humane and just democratic society yet you have this institition that in and of itself doesn’t uphold basic human rights of the women and children (especially) within it. It doesn’t encourage freedom, speaking up, privacy, or equality, essentially money is controlled between family members by one or two people. I think palaces/British royal institution is like a tiny little communist country within a country.

Yeah, I could not be arsed with it. The scrutiny, the continual public engagements, the meeting people all the time, having someone else manage your diary. No thanks.
William was born into it, there must be so much pressure to conform and do your duty. Kate though, I don't get it - why would you choose to marry into that and basically give up all of your own life. I get annoyed if someone puts a meeting in my diary without sending me an email first - I need agency in my life.