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The royal family

"The Royal Family lost a big asset" conversation

347 replies

Nono22972 · 08/05/2023 12:43

Am I the only one who's uncomfortable with people constantly saying that the Royal Family lost their biggest asset in Meghan because having a person of colour on the Buckingham Palace balcony would've been a nod to our current society, who's more diverse. As a black woman, this is actually offensive (and I'm not even a fan o Meghan) but to me, it just proves to me that you see her as nothing more than a non-white token who can be used to make the Royal Family look more diverse

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MamoruHisaishi · 09/05/2023 23:59

Riverlee · 09/05/2023 15:03

I recall the news coverage as largely positive at first. People were pleased Harry had found someone to marry, and welcomed her. It was all a bit of a fairytale, apart from the speed at which they married. She was seen as a bit of fresh air, and some one who was media savvy and used to being in the limelight, due to her acting, so that was generally considered positively. Didn’t she work for a diplomatic office for a while also, which gave her credibility.

I’m not sure when or why the general feeling changed amongst the press, and I do think she got a hard press for a long time which was unjustified.

However, I do think they’ve scored an own goal. They (both of them, not just MEghan) went off to America to step out of the limelight, lead a quieter life, and before the plane had hardly touched down, was on a return flight, suing people, writing books, falling out with relatives etc, all in the public eye. Hardly living a quieter life. Maybe they just judged the mood badly, or had really bad advisors, but it hasn’t really gone as expected. Whether they can pull back from this, I don’t know. Camilla has succeeded from being the bad guy to gaining a lot of respect, and also Beatrice and Eugenie seemed to have matured and found a better place now, so given time, maybe.

I just read back on some of the press coverage in 2018 and there was definitely positive press coverage of Meghan, with one even proclaiming her to be the new people’s princess, and that she was bold and daring and exciting unlike kate. In fact, I read somewhere that harry and Meghan were still popular even during the time they left as many people were under the impression that they wanted privacy for themselves and there was a lot of public sympathy for them. It only started going wrong with the public when they did the Oprah interview and got worse from there.

Also, regarding the racist comment with the exotic blood and so on, perhaps it was racist but Kate also got the same treatment (by CNN), when they discussed how her blood as a commoner would result in a darker skin tone for the royal baby. Where was the outrage then?

Howsimplywonderful · 10/05/2023 00:19

@MamoruHisaishi

It’s all a bit ‘the emperors clothes’ really.

Tezza1 · 10/05/2023 01:57

@notanotheroneagain a cute woman like Lupita Nyongo

Ugh. Talk about lowering a woman to the least important thing about her.

Did you intend to belittle a successful actress - winner of an Academy Award - and accomplished woman? If not, I'd hate to think what you actually would say if you put your mind to it.

ExitChasedByAMemory · 10/05/2023 04:02

caringcarer · 08/05/2023 14:24

But Mike Tindall does not represent the firm nor never has and he does not get a penny from the civil list, nor does Zara. Harry and Meghan did claim the civil list money and before stepping away represented the firm. Completely different situations. Oh and the Tindalls don't constantly demand or get protection/security officers assigned to them. Harry and Meghan were always demanding them even when not representing the firm.

Perhaps rightly or wrongly, Harry and Meghan felt that they needed the security? I remember reading on here something about him worrying about history repeating himself. And if you remember the first press statement by the royal family, they seemed to be very understanding about them stepping away for a while. Who knows how much of it is Harry’s paranoia and how much of it is real? Clearly they feel unsafe and I’m not sure why, but perhaps there have been incidents where they felt unsafe? I do also wonder how much Harry actually shared with Meghan about the day-to-day aspects of royal life, not to mention protocols.

Much was made of Meghan being a career woman etc. but then it must have been awkward for her to be referred to as the “suitcase girl” etc. What did make me curious and I’m pretty sure I read it on MN, that apparently Meghan said that there weren’t any tabloids in the States. Now, I’m not sure if that poster was paraphrasing but if that is what Meghan said. It must have been shocking for her to feel exposed to the tabloids like that. There are tabloids in America and other celebrities have experienced it, but perhaps Meghan just didn’t experience it as much so she was surprised by the amount of unfair press? I’m sure, not all coverage here was negative but she clearly was reading the negative ones. And I am not sure if I missed it, so I’m happy to be corrected, but I do wish the Palace issued a statement about the racial slurs at that time and that is something they can own up to and apologise for.

Judgyjudgy · 10/05/2023 04:24

MamoruHisaishi · 09/05/2023 23:48

Yes, I think it would take someone of Michelle’s calibre to join the royal family because she, like kate and the Queen, have the ability to rise above it all (even with all the attacks against her) and knows how to act like a diplomat/serve the interests of her country. She is also a team player like Kate, and has the ability to be non controversial and likeable to even conservatives. Kate may not have Michelle’s qualifications but she does know how to be a diplomat, she knows how to keep her cool under pressure, and she does a great job representing the UK when meeting politicians and heads of power in other countries. As to your comment that someone like Michelle would not have been allowed to overshadow Kate, with her strong presence and popularity, clearly that isn't the case because Diana was allowed to shine in her role even at the expense of Charles. She didn't lash out at the royal family because she was being forced to dim her light, she lashed out because of Charles infidelity to her. Someone like Michelle would have shone regardless if she played second fiddle to kate or not.

And hey, I totally agree that Harry married up. Meghan is better than him in every way, and I'm sure he does know it. But she was definitely not a good fit for the royal family due to her personality. You can't keep insisting that Meghan was perfect for the royal family because of her bland personality, when clearly she didn't want to follow the rules and protocol and hence should never have become a working member of the royal family.

Please tell me you're not comparing Michelle Obama to Kate, that is incredibly insulting to Michelle and all women actually! 😳

WeAreTheHeroes · 10/05/2023 04:55

thebellagio · 09/05/2023 16:45

@Roussette I can't actually remember ever reading the article. I just remember the headline.

I have always thought that it was primarily a social media driven issue rather than a newspaper/reporter issue. But that doesn't negate it, because it WAS an issue - I remember Buzzfeed did their side by side comparison of every time Kate was praised, Meghan was slated for the same things. I genuinely don't blame her for walking away. I don't think anyone could take that barrage of criticism.

But I do blame Harry for not preparing her, or giving her the support that she needed.

Yes - the British press pitted Meghan and Katherine against each other. They have form. They did it to a lesser extent with Sarah Ferguson and Princess Di, who seemed to be friends.

mixedrecycling · 10/05/2023 05:16

skullbabe · 09/05/2023 17:40

I agree - Meghan was a much better fit that Michelle or Amal becuase although all three established their own career paths - you really could not fit Amal or Michelle into the restrictive confines of the Royal Family. It is true that today, royal wives are expected to have their own careers and charitable endeavours, as well as supporting their husbands in their royal duties however it is obvious htat ambition, drive and outshining their spouse would be frowned upon and again they would struggle. Michelle would absolutely want to hit the ground running with her strong work ethic and Amal would be up early creating itineraries for all her staff with associated gantt charts with her firece drive and commitment.

This woman would not be a great fit for the royal family as is at the moment.

Michelle Obama has spoken of some of the compromises she made - in this case regarding her natural hair Michelle Obama is ready to let her hair shine (harpersbazaar.com)- in order not to undermine her husband's political career.

Sad that she had to make those choices, but it does suggest she would have looked at the big picture, not that she would prioritise her 'ambition, drive' above everything else. I suspect she is savvy enough to have worked out the ground rules and found a constructive route through them that allowed her to focus on what really mattered to her, rather than making it all about her.

Michelle Obama on embracing her natural hair post-White House

And the protective styles she used to wear as First Lady

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/beauty/hair/a42282170/michelle-obama-natural-hair-protective-styles/

tigger2022 · 10/05/2023 06:24

MamoruHisaishi · 09/05/2023 23:59

I just read back on some of the press coverage in 2018 and there was definitely positive press coverage of Meghan, with one even proclaiming her to be the new people’s princess, and that she was bold and daring and exciting unlike kate. In fact, I read somewhere that harry and Meghan were still popular even during the time they left as many people were under the impression that they wanted privacy for themselves and there was a lot of public sympathy for them. It only started going wrong with the public when they did the Oprah interview and got worse from there.

Also, regarding the racist comment with the exotic blood and so on, perhaps it was racist but Kate also got the same treatment (by CNN), when they discussed how her blood as a commoner would result in a darker skin tone for the royal baby. Where was the outrage then?

Yeah there were so many articles that were basically “exciting Meghan is so modern and opinionated and fresh not like boring Kate YAWN”

Dobby123456 · 10/05/2023 06:40

tigger2022 · 09/05/2023 16:13

The straight out of Compton thing was a single headline. The reason you hear it repeatedly over and over and over is because it was one of two racist articles published at the time. The other one is no longer mentioned (the one about exotic blood) because the author has come out pro-Sussex. This is what I mean. People maintain that the coverage was racist and negative when it really wasn’t. There were thousands of articles written at the time, two were racist (and in fact the second racist article was intended as a compliment). The coverage was overwhelmingly positive.

I didn't pay much attention at the time, but since looked at the articles and it doesn't seem quite as it's being painted. The straight outa Compton was typical press sensationalism - trying to make out the difference in background was greater than it was. Rather like the 'story' made out of Prince William marrying the 'daughter of an air hostess'. The second story was an article about how beautiful and wonderful Meghan was and how lucky the pasty white ginger Prince was to get her. The bit about 'exotic' and 'blue' blood I think was meant in a jokey (not literal!) way, and the writer has since apologised for being insensitive. We all would have moved on and I wouldn't have even read any of it if it didn't keep getting dragged up again.

tigger2022 · 10/05/2023 06:55

They keep getting dragged up to portray all coverage as having a racist undertone when in fact they are the extent of it.

Similarly they will show headlines of Kate and Meghan doing similar things where Meghan is criticised and Kate is praised - but there are plenty of examples the other way around that are never shown. They also never show all the examples of other unpopular women getting criticised for small things, like Camilla or Fergie. Or the York girls when they went through their unpopular phase. Basically, at times you’re popular people will be more charitable towards you than at times you’re unpopular - shocking lol.

There is really no convincing argument that all the coverage was bad or all the coverage was racist because it wasn’t. At the beginning it was overwhelmingly good, then it was mixed (inevitable), then it turned bad as M&H started to alienate more and more people. It’s not a conspiracy.

notanotheroneagain · 10/05/2023 07:01

Meghan is criticised and Kate is praised - but there are plenty of examples the other way around that are never shown.

Please do show us those examples.

Morestrangerthings · 10/05/2023 07:08

mixedrecycling · 10/05/2023 05:16

Michelle Obama has spoken of some of the compromises she made - in this case regarding her natural hair Michelle Obama is ready to let her hair shine (harpersbazaar.com)- in order not to undermine her husband's political career.

Sad that she had to make those choices, but it does suggest she would have looked at the big picture, not that she would prioritise her 'ambition, drive' above everything else. I suspect she is savvy enough to have worked out the ground rules and found a constructive route through them that allowed her to focus on what really mattered to her, rather than making it all about her.

Ive read Michelle Obamas first book and seen her recent OW interview. Her behaviour leading up to, and including the terms of her husbands presidency was about her husband to a very large degree. Not wanting to be responsible for problems during his presidency. She even dropped some friends - as they would have not been suitable for friends of a first lady, and she said that she did not want be responsible for being the reason why he lost the presidency. But there was a time limit and both Barack and Michelle referred to it. Once his presidency was complete, it was her time.

The Royal Family is for life.

notanotheroneagain · 10/05/2023 07:11

Judgyjudgy · 10/05/2023 04:24

Please tell me you're not comparing Michelle Obama to Kate, that is incredibly insulting to Michelle and all women actually! 😳

It really is insulting.

And the other poster going on about her hair? wtf.
First of all, MO was not living in an institution that was restricting her for others to shine. She did not outshine Barack as another poster suggested either - she merely complimented him. She did not complain because she was getting support from her husband and the establishment she was in, hence she would not complain.

MM complained because she was not getting that support from the establishment. Kate/Camilla and others have nothing to complain about because they are getting the support from their establishment, hence everyone else talking out there is just noise.

From what I understood of it, MM was used to publicity, therefore all that noise out there would not matter to her. She kept on telling everyone, don't worry the palace is protecting me, only to find the palace is the one creating and amplifying that noise/negativity. Harry had to take her out. She is happy now, her family and friends are not her enemies briefing against her, they have her back.

awakeeveeynight · 10/05/2023 07:18

I agree. Looking at all those entitled smug little faces on the balcony made me rage.

notanotheroneagain · 10/05/2023 07:25

Lampzade · 09/05/2023 15:54

Exactly

There is a big attempt to rewrite history as her not being able to do her duties, when she actually went over and beyond the expectation of shaking hands and smiling - she actually had tangible ideas.

The naked truth is that white supremacy does not allow a woc to have fresher/clever/more useful ideas first. You can be sure that if she were a blue eyed blonde (or even white male), she would have been praised for her 'innovations' instead of being denigrated for her work ethics.

NormaTheWife · 10/05/2023 07:27

notanotheroneagain · 10/05/2023 07:11

It really is insulting.

And the other poster going on about her hair? wtf.
First of all, MO was not living in an institution that was restricting her for others to shine. She did not outshine Barack as another poster suggested either - she merely complimented him. She did not complain because she was getting support from her husband and the establishment she was in, hence she would not complain.

MM complained because she was not getting that support from the establishment. Kate/Camilla and others have nothing to complain about because they are getting the support from their establishment, hence everyone else talking out there is just noise.

From what I understood of it, MM was used to publicity, therefore all that noise out there would not matter to her. She kept on telling everyone, don't worry the palace is protecting me, only to find the palace is the one creating and amplifying that noise/negativity. Harry had to take her out. She is happy now, her family and friends are not her enemies briefing against her, they have her back.

Her family? You mean a bit of it.

PS It's complementing ...

Bellevu · 10/05/2023 07:32

To let's summarise.

To be a white member of the Royal family, you need to have a degree and no meaningful work or charitable experience.

To be a black member of the Royal family, you will also need the experience of Michelle Obama (who apparently never faced appalling racism or set the example to all back people of being able to rise above it all, because it's all good fun and she never took herself seriously.

See people of colour, the difference is that even if the security implications for her and her family was never dismissed by the institution around her, that's the type of dignity you need. Yes the Palace will issue a quick correction to the idea that Kate dyes her hair but the black woman can put on her big girl pants.) https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/11/16/22-times-michelle-obama-endured-rude-racist-sexist-or-plain-dumb-attacks/

Another side here: She said she can’t pretend like it doesn’t hurt because that lets those who do the hurting off the hook. https://www.denverpost.com/2017/07/25/michelle-obama-speech-womens-foundation-of-colorado-30th-anniversary-denver/

In October 2019, over 70 female MPs across party lines sent Meghan a public letter of support about the racial overtones of the ongoing attacks by UK based newspapers. Deny all you want, but it was clear there was, and so very obviously continues to be, racial animus to the majority of the relentless attacks.

https://twitter.com/HollyLynch5/status/1189175248035483648?t=IdJPpONAZnakfCPODqYU6w&s=19

"The Royal Family lost a big asset" conversation
Roussette · 10/05/2023 07:39

@Bellevu Well said.
I've been uncomfortable with some of the stuff said on this thread. Meghan is always held to a far higher standard than anyone else because.... she's Meghan.

notanotheroneagain · 10/05/2023 07:44

NormaTheWife · 10/05/2023 07:27

Her family? You mean a bit of it.

PS It's complementing ...

Her family is her husband, children and Doria.
That is all she needs from the looks of it.

Whaeanui · 10/05/2023 07:51

@Bellevu 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 well said. The last few pages have been 😞 I’m still reeling from the comment Meghan ‘reinforced’ negative stereotypes about POC on a page people are minimising the racist abuse she got. You couldn’t make this up. Meghan was held to impossibly high standards that nobody else in that family are.

notanotheroneagain · 10/05/2023 07:57

Bellevu · 10/05/2023 07:32

To let's summarise.

To be a white member of the Royal family, you need to have a degree and no meaningful work or charitable experience.

To be a black member of the Royal family, you will also need the experience of Michelle Obama (who apparently never faced appalling racism or set the example to all back people of being able to rise above it all, because it's all good fun and she never took herself seriously.

See people of colour, the difference is that even if the security implications for her and her family was never dismissed by the institution around her, that's the type of dignity you need. Yes the Palace will issue a quick correction to the idea that Kate dyes her hair but the black woman can put on her big girl pants.) https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/11/16/22-times-michelle-obama-endured-rude-racist-sexist-or-plain-dumb-attacks/

Another side here: She said she can’t pretend like it doesn’t hurt because that lets those who do the hurting off the hook. https://www.denverpost.com/2017/07/25/michelle-obama-speech-womens-foundation-of-colorado-30th-anniversary-denver/

In October 2019, over 70 female MPs across party lines sent Meghan a public letter of support about the racial overtones of the ongoing attacks by UK based newspapers. Deny all you want, but it was clear there was, and so very obviously continues to be, racial animus to the majority of the relentless attacks.

https://twitter.com/HollyLynch5/status/1189175248035483648?t=IdJPpONAZnakfCPODqYU6w&s=19

Thank you for these reminders.

Also you can add that a women's consortium for women in the legal field also sent out an open letter. And the poc in media also confirmed that there were racist undertones to the reporting of her.

I don't know why it's so hard for people to understand that nobody uses the n word anymore. You just follow a poc around the shops or hound them to check everything about them, criticising when you would not do the same for a white person or call the police on them. What is happening to MM is the equivalent.

The people who keep trying to 'expose' her. What do they think they are doing exactly?

Lobelia123 · 10/05/2023 08:04

I think there was a massive missed opportunity and if I were H&M I would have played it very differently. If you think back, Harry was hugely popular and showed over and over again that he had his mothers magic touch with people - he came across so relaxed and relatable in crowd situations, often showing up his overly stiff and formal, uncomfortable brother. He and Meghan really had some star quality and could have become real stars for the royal family - i should imagine they could have easily overshadowed William and Kate if that was ever their ambition. They could have been a real asset to the family and carved a niche for themsleves where they were relevant, loved and making a difference. Its a great shame really as there I cant see there ever being a way back.

Whaeanui · 10/05/2023 08:07

Also you can add that a women's consortium for women in the legal field also sent out an open letter. And the poc in media also confirmed that there were racist undertones to the reporting of her.

I forgot this, thanks for the reminder

notanotheroneagain · 10/05/2023 08:43

Whaeanui · 10/05/2023 08:07

Also you can add that a women's consortium for women in the legal field also sent out an open letter. And the poc in media also confirmed that there were racist undertones to the reporting of her.

I forgot this, thanks for the reminder

Those letters never got much coverage.

Quelle surprise .

CoffeeCantata · 10/05/2023 09:01

awakeeveeynight · Today 07:18
I agree. Looking at all those entitled smug little faces on the balcony made me rage.

What on earth do you mean? Can you explain what you mean by 'entitled, smug little faces'?

From the use of the word 'little', I assume you're referring to the pages - but correct me if that's wrong. Those boys did an amazing job and I didn't detect any smugness - I thought they looked self-effacing and humble all the way through. If you saw the interview with Lady Lansdowne (one of Camilla's helpers), she explained the circumstances to their being on the balcony. It wasn't part of the plan, and they were quite correctly hanging back, but Camilla and others urged them to come forward and make an appearance. I just don't get why that should put you in a rage - and your very harsh judgement of them as entitled and smug says more about you than them!

You might be referring to others, but really - what a way to judge people. I have a really bad case of 'resting bitch face' myself and have learned over the years to keep a half-smile in order just to look neutral. Many people have accused me of looking cross, mean, put out, bored etc etc when I thought I was just relaxing and looking nothing in particular. Please resist the temptation to make sweeping judgments about others based on your perceptions of their facial expression - you might be completely wrong.

So depressing that people can feel such venom towards youngsters who did a great job under pressure.