Dear Harry .. a note on farhers

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Dear Harry

Let me tell.you about my father. My earliest memories of him are not about walks in the royal gardens or being called 'my darling' child. They are of witnessing my mum being beaten up, my siblings being beaten and police being called to the door. My earliest memories are of fear of my dad, a rumbling stomach as we couldn't afford the luxury of 3 hot meals a day (or even one).

Far from having the smaller bedroom to my siblings, I shared my room in our 2 bed flat with my mum and dad, and later when he left, never to return, just with my mum. I don't begrudge my siblings had their own space that was bigger than mine. That's life.

I didn't have the privilege of eating less sausages for dinner than my siblings. I do remember however, being beaten for spilling a can of soup on the floor, since that was meant to be dinner for the family for that evening.

As far as I can see, and I know it's only based on what you say, and the media, but it seems your father loves you. You haven't lived in fear of him. He's more than provided for you. You've never gone hungry. Both you and Meghan have father's who have never abandoned you, despite all you have both done, and no doubt they would likely always welcome you back.

If either of your parents had adopted me as a kid I'd have thought all my dreams would have come true

I know you didn't get as many hugs as you'd have liked. I am so sad for you that you lost your mum.

But there is something important about recognising and appreciating what you have, when so many others could only dream of it.

I hope one day you stop selling out the family you have and that love you. Love is all you need, and a parent who's tried his best. None of us are perfect.

@Peverellshire They were living in Nott Cottage from 2017. They leased the Cotswolds home in 2019.

OP you sound lovely and have dealt graciously with the less kind posts on here. MNet can be very harsh. Love and strength to you xx

OP - I'm sorry about what happened to you as a child and that you are getting a lot of flack on here. I had a pretty grim time as a child - parentl violence although not the poverty as there was always food on the table. Howeve I do get that Harry's complaining may well be quite triggering for those who grew up in worse conditions and or lost a parent. I think those that didn't suffer abuse/trauma don't always understand how survivors can be triggered by seemingly innocuous things.

@babsanderson according to Tom Bower ‘they rented a converted barn in early 2018 on the Great Tew estate’ so they could ‘entertain’. So less than a year ‘roughing it’? But you’re right as in extra accommodation not immediately available.

Do you know Charles also wrote a book about this age about how terrible the royal family are and now he is king. Diana also authorised a biography. So Harry is just doing what both the king and his sainted mother did before him, so not really selling them out then?

Maybe William will write his next year.

Royalists conveniently forget this.

I am sorry you went through such a horrible childhood, but this isn’t a “who had it worse” competition. People from all walks of life go through horrific things. Wealth and status do not exempt you from that. I’m not a Harry and Megan fan by any means, but you can literally go online and see images, watch videos, read information on his parents very public marriage, his fathers infidelity, his mothers emotional trauma, his mothers death, along with everything else. He wasn’t allowed to grieve as a little boy who lost his mother. The nation demanded his grandmother address the public and put their mourning first, so I guess that’s what he had to do. Imagine having to walk around and address mourners in a way to comfort them when it was his mum that he lost? He had to walk behind her coffin in the view of millions. This is what we do know as a fact. Families are complex sometimes, and the royal family are definitely no different. There is a whole set of rules and pressures that you don’t get in your regular nuclear family. I really don’t think it’s envy worthy at all, despite the wealth and privilege. It’s easy to act like we know these people, but we do not. No one has the right to say how he should feel/behave/view his trauma from the things he went through, like no body would have the right to say about yours. I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but you are undermining someone’s experiences and I don’t feel like anyone should have the right to do that. He has a right to feel what he feels whether we agree with his behaviour or not.

@Peverellshire I never suggested they were roughing it. But the fact is Harry and Meghan lived at Nottingham Cottage as their only house for a bit. And if I was them I too would want something bigger so I am not surprised they moved.

Me neither @babsanderson & you didn’t, but you could argue ‘Spare’ did.

IMO there should have been equivalency with William & K but they had less than a year in Nott Cott alone & then luxury plus.

Harry saud he lives his dad and always knew Charles loved him. He was just not a great single parent and struggled with showing emotions.

Did he say everyone was out to get him, family, staff, press, public and demand his family apologise?

Exactly. We do have an idea because whiney wrote a book and mentioned the most trivial, stupid things, so you can bet that if there was anything worse he would have mentioned it.

Sure validating feelings is great but surely a bit of perspective stops the wallowing in self pity.

No but he d8d call his mother the Queen cold and talk about his childhood.