Where is Meghan?

[StarInTheHeavens]

I haven't seen hide-nor-hair of Meghan since the book release which is uncharacteristic of her. Even with the Montecito floods there was no news. So I'm wondering how this is playing out? Happiness or anger behind closed doors?

'I felt then and feel now that Harry and William, the people most affected by Diana's death, were sacrificed to meet a number of needs, but their needs as children facing the glare of the world were ignored.'

Prince Philip told Blair to fuck off when he suggested the boys were brought back to London to appease the hysterical members of the public. Both the Queen and Prince Philip wanted to keep them at Balmoral.

Harry wanted to walk behind his mother's coffin. William didn't want to. Prince Philip told William and Harry if they wanted to walk behind their mother's coffin he would walk with them and support them. I don't think they were forced to do anything.

Perhaps they went to church at Balmoral because it was a comfort to them. Having a grandmother who was head of the CofE, and being at Eton where I would imagine attendance at religious services was common, being somewhere familiar, saying familiar prayers might have been a huge comfort.

We have Harry, as a pretty unreliable narrator, saying Charles didn't hug him and left him on his own after breaking the news. There is plenty of photographic evidence of Charles hugging his children, so who knows?

The reality is there was no 'right way' of handling the situation, there is no right way of handling something so awful.

We do actually have a first hand account of another suddenly bereaved child being cared for by the Royal family at Balmoral, which completely contradicts this “child cruelty” narrative that some are constructing here.

14 year old Timothy Knatchbull was on the boat on which his grandfather, Lord Mountbatten was sailing when it was blown up by the IRA. His grandfather, grandmother and twin brother were all killed, and his parents both gravely injured, as was he. After he came out of hospital he went with his older sister to stay at Balmoral while his parents remained hospitalised and he wrote about it in his autobiography, From A Clear Blue Sky.

'We have a great mother on the throne of this country. When my mum, her good friend, was laid low, the Queen stepped in. We were very late arriving at Balmoral, because of a delay to our flight, and the Queen and Prince Charles plied us with soup and sandwiches.

'Amanda took the lead in thanking them and suggesting they go to bed, but there was no persuading them. They continued to bring food and drink and ask for news from home. After a while we ambled down the corridor. We knew the form; at some point the Queen would break off and head in the direction of her bedroom. None of it.

'She shepherded us into our rooms and started to unpack. Here, Amanda drew the line, removing a sweater from the Queen's hands and convincing her that we really would be happier if she took herself to bed. She was in an almost unstoppable mothering mode and I loved it. We kissed her goodnight and then unpacked as we chatted to [Prince] Charles”

Oh, how odd, my reply has been hidden! I was just pointing to the account Nicholas Knatchbull gave of being cared for by the Queen and Prince Charles when he went to stay at Balmoral as a 14 year old after most of his family was killed or injured on Lord Mountbatten’s boat. Anyway, he recalled their immense kindness to him as a bereaved child whose surviving family were all still in hospital. And he wasn’t even a son or grandson.

@Serenster As you say there isn't a script and perhaps the enormity and their own loss over Diana's death affected the response of Charles the queen etc.

@Serenster I can see your reply giving Nicholas Knatchbull's account

Oh my! My response has been hidden as well!

All I said was I can see your response

Harry wanted to walk behind his mother's coffin. William didn't want to. Prince Philip told William and Harry if they wanted to walk behind their mother's coffin he would walk with them and support them. I don't think they were forced to do anything.

With respect, I don't think that children of their age should have had the responsibility of making the decision. Why was it even an option? At 12, Harry did not know what was good for him, and the responsible adults should have known better.

If William had a choice now, of a 12 year old George walking behind his or his wife's coffin, it simply would not happen. Nor would Harry be happy about a 12 year old Archie in the same circumstances.

Hindsight is 20-20 vision and all that, but that decision, whoever made it, was 50 kinds of fucked up, it should never, ever had happened.

Harry was much too young, even if he made the choice himself. There is a reason children are not allowed to make certain decisions.

'Harry was much too young, even if he made the choice himself. There is a reason children are not allowed to make certain decisions.'

Sure.

Can you imagine what Harry would be saying now if he hadn't been allowed to walk?

I think people forget how Natalie crazy the general public were when Diana died.

I am a few weeks older than William and remember think how awful it was that people were so awful about the Queen for putting her grandsons first staying in balmoral with them, away from the hysteria.

The Public wanted to see the boys. They felt an entitlement to them and the rest of the family in the worst possible circumstance.

Maybe letting Harry walk behind the coffin was a bad ide. Maybe he would still be as upset if it had been denied. Maybe part of the reason he wanted to do was because people (the public and media) were being so awful about the rest of his family, particularly his grandparents and he thought it would help.

No one knows the outcome of situation, until is done and dusted. And no one can say Harry would be any better or even just feel differently if his family had denied stopped him walking behind his mothers coffin.

Very well said.

If, as indicated above, William did not want to do it, then both boys would not have done it.

And Harry may have had less traumatic memories of that walk.

We cannot speculate about what might have been, we can only talk about what actually happened.

Why has my phones changed ridiculously to Natalie 😂

'If, as indicated above, William did not want to do it, then both boys would not have done it.'

Or perhaps Harry was so adamant he wanted to do it that William felt he had to, and that was when Prince Philip said he'd support them if they did. I think Prince Philip would have definitely put his foot down if it had been left up to him and the Queen. I wonder how much influence Earl Spencer had?

Because it was a Natalie crazy time, and your phone recognises that 😅

I need to find Natalie and learn Natalie crazy time. Sounds fun 😂

A Natalie crazy time is way more epic than a Totally crazy time. That's one thing I know for sure. And my name is not even Natalie. 😅

😂😂😂😂

@Coxspurplepippin

There was an absolutely risible rumour at the time that Charles made the boys walk to protect himself from being booed. I am not a big fan of Charles, but I don't think that is at all true, and certainly, Harry does not give that as a reason.

I recently lost a deeply beloved family member and can confirm that at my advanced age of 49, I was not thinking straight about many things. I made some decisions that, in retrospective, were unwise because I was unmoored by my grief. They say you should not make important decisions in the first six odd months of fresh grief.

It is that perspective that makes me say they should have protected the boys better, even if it was protecting them from themselves.

But I hear you. Hindsight is they say is 20-20 and it is easy to make judgements after the fact.

I wonder how much influence Earl Spencer had?

people.com/royals/prince-william-finally-reveals-who-decided-he-and-harry-should-walk-behind-dianas-coffin/

At the time, Diana’s brother, Charles, 9th Earl Spencer, argued against them being part of the procession — and some government advisers were wary too. But friends of the royal family have said that it was their grandfather, Prince Philip, who told the princes — then ages 15 and 12 — “If I do it, will you?”

William confirmed in the 2017 BBC documentary Diana, 7 Days, “It wasn’t an easy decision, and it was a collective family decision to do that. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But we were overwhelmed by how many people turned out, it was just incredible. There was that balance between duty and family and that’s what we had to do.”

Harry recalls, “I think it was a group decision. But before I knew it, I found myself with a suit on with a black tie and a white shirt, I think, and I was part of it. Genuinely, I don’t have an opinion on whether that was right or wrong. I am glad I was part of it. Looking back on it now, I am very glad I was part of it.”

...

The princes’ uncle, Charles, 9th Earl Spencer, called the walk a “tunnel of grief” and told PEOPLE and 2017’s The Story of Diana he didn’t believe that “tiny” Harry should have made the grueling walk.
“I was just so worried — what a trauma for a little chap to walk behind his mum’s body,” Spencer said. “It’s just awful. And, actually, I tried to stop that happening, to be honest.”

It may be no-one remembers who came up with the idea - I've had meetings like that - or everyone backing away subsequently and shifting blame.

I have to say I do find it hard to believe Prince Philip would have suggested it - I saw that clip of him and the Queen being told to "look after the boys" in a walkabout and how quickly and angrily he shot back

Harry says in his book he chose to do it because he could not let William do it alone, and he knew William would have done the same for him. I'm sure they were given the option, but years of training in how to behave in public probably made them think it was the right thing to do. It's traditional as you see at president kennedys funeral. His tiny son saluting, very moving.

Always going to be a difficult call.

That's so interesting to read thank you. What a horrible time it was for them, and what terrible decision to make at such a difficult time for the boys.

This is why I feel it’s unfair to judge. I lost a 17 year old brother in a horrific way when I was age 10. He drowned and was missing for 5 days.

I remember very well the mistakes I saw people around me making. My grandfather being one that comes to mind. But I understood it was grief, and there was so much chaos and confusion. There were people that came to see us, who we had to console. Can you imagine? I didn’t judge any of them. I still don’t judge them now, as an adult. They were all doing their best in a situation they also should never had had to bear.

I am sorry to hear that @AliceOlive , I can't imagine going through that.

My DDs are adopted and I have had to let them know certain info about their birth parents when they have been mature enough to hear it.

The reality is, so many children have to face unimaginable situations. There are no easy answers for the people caring for them.

I am so sorry for your loss and your family's loss. The family member I lost recently was my beloved brother, who died far too young. I am reading a lot now about losing a sibling. It's for that reason that Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert have really resonated with me.

You and I disagree a LOT on Meghan and Harry, but I genuinely wish you peace and healing. It is not easy.

@purpledalmation

John-John in his little frock coat saluting his father tears me up every time I see it. Life can be so horribly, horribly unfair to children, even the most privileged. And then for him to grow up in the glare the media only for him and his lovely wife to die so tragically, and so young. Just devastating.