Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

No one knew who she was despite the fact it’s the only job she’s ever had. She may not have been failing whilst in Suits but she was just a jobbing actress which is absolutely fine but she certainly wasn’t the ‘Hollywood star’ she’s sometimes described as. I would imagine after Suits she wouldn’t have got any higher or even same level as that and wouldn’t have been able to retire to Montecito or Beverley Hills etc. Basically she wouldn’t have been in a position to be choosy about her work offers.

Presumably because it was felt best for them to have some continuity in their lives and to be with their friends
And I don't disagree with that. It was maybe the best thing to do, given the circumstances. I was just correcting a poster who said Charles didn't send them off to boarding school

Oh come on none of that is so outlandish '! Half the population did that shit growing up ! The difference is not letting it define you or drag you down. Why should he be crucified coz he is born into royalty? Growing up with all that crao its a wonder he didnt do more...How narrow minded 😄 or are you a Saint? He is a good person at heart with positive energy. Think what you like

Oh come on have you read it ? None of that is so outlandish '! Half the population did that shit growing up ! The difference is not letting it define you or drag you down. Why should he be crucified coz he is born into royalty? Growing up with all that crao its a wonder he didnt do more...How narrow minded 😄 or are you a Saint? He is a good person at heart with positive energy. Think what you like

I find it incredible you cannot admit she was a minor actress without resorting to calling me ‘pathetic’ tbh. Meghan has nothing to be ashamed of with regard to her career, it’s a very difficult business. I’m not sure why you and others feel the need to exaggerate her achievements, it undermines what she actually has achieved.

she was just a jobbing actress which is absolutely fine but she certainly wasn’t the ‘Hollywood star’ she’s sometimes described as

That's the tabloid press for you. I've never called her a 'Hollywood star'. She was in Canada for starters

Wasn't it Diana that refused to send them to boarding school?

I didn't call you pathetic. I called the post pathetic. I am certainly not exaggerating her achievements, she made millions of dollars from the part she played in Suits. That's it.

I think the role of Royal Family as an institution and the British royal family has to be separated. I also think agree that the spares, not just heirs, need to have fulfilling roles. But Harry no longer is the spare as he’s now further away from the succession line so the focus needs to be on George’s siblings and how to avoid history from repeating itself.

But the fact of the matter is, Harry nor any member of the member of the Royal Family needs to bare their souls and share countless interviews, podcasts, write tell-all memoirs. It just feels very sordid.

Mental health and anxieties etc. transcends social class, but that being said they are all incredibly privileged. Harry lost his mother and so did William. They all need professional psychological help to undo any kind of trauma. They have access to the best health care. Harry and Meghan, William and Kate and the rest of the members of the royal family just need to focus on their philanthropic work and leave the rest of their baggage behind closed doors. I’m sure it’s cathartic to broadcast grievances, but in order to mend relationships you need to focus on them rather than be indiscreet and constantly provide more fuel for tabloids.

I thought Oprah’s interview was the end of it all. But then I’ve read on here that there have been podcasts and something on Netflix and something about Finding Freedom and now this. It sounds like an awful lot.

It’s probably not easy reading about accusations about affairs and racial slurs etc., but that’s why they have legal counsel and can sue if they want or choose not to read things if they also don’t want to.

The more I come across these posts under active threads and I see excerpts from Harry’s book, there more I am convinced we need a streamlined monarchy without all the members of the royal family. Anne and Sophie seem to be doing a great job as are Kate and William in highlighting causes and making it less about them. We need fewer working members of the royal family and until they retire, the rest can live private lives. I think this makes the most sense so I do support Charles’ vision of a more streamlined monarchy regardless of who Harry married.

According to Google, Harry is 38, William is now apparently 40, Kate just turned 41 and Meghan is also 41. These are all fully grown adults. Everyone is going through their own journey and if someone needs therapy or counseling then so be it, but it sounds very self-indulgent to keep on with baring one’s soul because you can never dictate what is written in the media. From the looks of things, Harry’s parents seemed to have done this and so now it seems that Harry is following in their footsteps.

I read somewhere that the media is a hungry beast, the more you feed it then the more it wants. If Harry truly wants a private life, he has more than enough to live on and he apparently has a Netflix deal that’s bringing in a lot of cash. I think he’ll be fine. If the excerpts from here are accurate, Harry needs to be careful about what he keeps on sharing because apparently not everything is accurate perhaps as his recollection is not that clear. Which is all the more reason not share private details in a public platform. They can all get the best possible advisors and do a lot of good.

They just need to now focus on dealing with private family matters privately and stop leaking or sharing false stories. I think I’d have trust issues if someone was sharing my texts, leaking stories and sharing false ones, but I also wouldn’t want to perpetuate the cycle.

I don’t think his current anger is much to do with his mother’s death - although there’s definitely residual anger over that - it’s much about the behaviour of his family over the past few years. I’ve always found Charles so nauseatingly weak, selfish, insecure and mean-spirited that I understand why he finds him so infuriating.

It’s not wholesome though is it??? Did you think his energy was positive when he admits to slapping his bodyguards about when pissed because he knew he couldn’t hit him back? Or when he was making fun of a disabled staff member at school? Wholesome it definitely ain’t. And most people haven’t done any of the things that I’ve listed in this post and my previous one.

No, they went. It was what Charles wanted.

www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1483301/princess-diana-prince-charles-william-boarding-school-george-royal-family-spt

My post wasn’t pathetic. She has done really well for a minor actress

I'm baffled why anyone whose actually read the book would think this constitutes an 'increased threat', especially a military wife.

www.lbc.co.uk/opinion/unhinged-hatred-behind-misrepresentation-of-prince-harry/

That’s an odd conclusion when his mother permeates the entire book. Obviously your view of the King will colour your judgement but even Harry doesn’t agree with your assessment.

Well said. I am reading Spare - roughly half way through. I agree completely with everything you have said. I despair at the vile way most of the media in this country have treated H and M. I hate the way the media here holds up Kate as a paragon of virtue and portrays M as a manipulative attention seeker.

I’m a bit more than halfway through the book OP and I very much agree with your assessment of Harry and his role in the wider family. He comes across much better than I expected and the system is exposed as in need of some basic reform.

The deal for 4 books from Harry and Meghan is reported to be worth $20 million and Harry announced in October he has already given £1.5 million
to his charity Sentabale and around £300,000 will be given to Wellchild. He said he plans to give to other charities too. It sounds like he he will keep a lot of it but a few million will be donated.

He and Meghan also of course signed their extremely lucrative Netflix deal which may end up being worth up to $100 million and their Spotify deal allegedly signed for $25 million. Whopping figures.

Weren’t H&M very well received by the commonwealth countries

www.forbes.com/sites/ceciliarodriguez/2018/10/28/meghan-markle-prince-harry-and-their-triumphant-australasia-royal-tour-in-photos/?sh=7be9d34b60da

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/gallery/2018/oct/19/harry-and-meghan-on-tour-in-australia-in-pictures

www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/a29287454/queen-elizabeth-reaction-meghan-markle-prince-harry-africa-tour/

Seemed more successful than some of the other RF tours - including by W&K, including when they had to cancel part of their tour

amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/mar/25/william-and-kate-caribbean-tour-slavery-reparations-royals

I think question you need to be asking if the commonwealth countries now KC to be their nominal head- and what opportunities have they missed in using H&M in revitalising relationship between commonwealth and the UK

www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-59470843.amp

But the fact of the matter is, Harry nor any member of the member of the Royal Family needs to bare their souls and share countless interviews, podcasts, write tell-all memoirs. It just feels very sordid.

His mother and father did - so he’s just following the family tradition…

@Mirabai Is that from personal experience? I’ve found a lot of people have said that after watching The Crown.

I'm baffled why anyone whose actually read the book would think this constitutes an 'increased threat', especially a military wife.

You don’t see that he’s just taken a sharp stick and poked the Taliban? And painted a new, brighter target on his own back? Veterans are saying the security threat for the Invictus Games is now much higher. And, of course, there’s that small matter of an upcoming public event when the world’s dignitaries and thousands of troops will be in London.

Frankly, I’m baffled that you’re baffled.

As Anne Lamott says in Bird by Bird, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

Of course she does, both his parents do.

I wouldn’t say he doesn’t agree - although he will also has a love and fondness for him that I don’t - his details of Charles’s behaviour to him and William could be characterised by precisely the words I used above. He may not use those words himself but that is how he shows Charles to have behaved.

I read it and I disagree with you OP. I read it with an open mind but it is utter tripe, and I wish I hadn’t bothered. It’s only ‘the truth according to Harry’ and if anyone reads Spare they need to remember this is only one very highly biased version of it