Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

I'm not a Guardian fan most of the time but this is right.

What kind of person insists on an air-clearing meeting with their father on the day of his father’s funeral? A myopic, self-obsessed, non-empathic kind of person, I would say. Exactly the same kind of person, in fact, who would talk about reconciliation in the same breath as they publicly slag off their family

Exactly, something like 1 in 20 children will loose either a parent or sibling before they are 16. The vast majority of those children will be sent back to school very soon afterwards. Most families recognise that the children still need their education and routine.

At a push Harry could have been a day pupil but would that really help? His peers would be boarding, no guarantee that Dad would be home and he'd be left with nannies rather than school staff.

@Novella4

'Royals' don't have the guts to tell their 'side' because that would mean dismantling the facade they have built over decades . They won't even make a statement to continue their 'story' because they must be seen to be above the little people .

I don’t disagree with this at all. I think you’re probably right.

However, Harry has also not done this. He has pointed out the faults of literally everyone else.

When it comes to his mistakes, it feels like he’s one of those people who fucks up, and then says ‘I admit I’ve made a mistake’, does nothing else and leaves everyone else to sort out the fuck up he’s made. Then when he’s called out on it, goes all wide eyed and faux innocent and shrieks ‘But I admitted it!’ and still leaves everyone else to clean up the mess.

He's not actually taken responsibility for his mistakes, he’s just parrots ‘I’m owning them’ and ‘accountability’ without actually knowing what either of these things mean.

I think the current furore playing out is ironically similar to the scene Harry describes in the infamous dog bowl fight. William wanted Harry to retaliate, Harry refused.

Now it is Harry taunting the RF to retaliate, and they are refusing.

Hope they continue to do this.

@HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed
''but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams''

I think you need to brush up on your knowledge of the Addams family...Wednesday is the total opposite of a ''perky'', showy, ''all American'' girl...

Doesn’t it also make Harry look a bit…strange. He writes all this but wants them back? The family are clearly worried about him.

thanki you @GlorianaCervixia
that is interestng
diana's own mother left the family home

Her point was that much like Wednesday Adams she doesn’t do Perky.

WHY???!!! What a waste of your money and time. You could have spent that time reading one of the ten thousand masterpieces out there. You could have read Great Expectations or Pride and Prejudice or Brave New World. Why bother with the drivel of a spoiled, ignorant little oaf like Harry? A man who received the best education money can buy and emerged with a B and D in his A-levels.

With that pointed tone, I can't believe you've read it cover to cover.

I'm starting to wonder if the press/Palace have people working all the forums and comment sections of articles and places like MN just like brands and ad agencies pay for fake UGC, or how Amazon sellers involve fake reviewers for their product. Hmm, swaying public opinion ensues...

If does seem quite indulgent and Brits don't like anyone with privilege complaining, but anyone who shines a light on the horrific actions of the scummy media - and those who use it to manipulate - is ok in my book.

What a load of absolute tripe. The only bit of any relevance is the last paragraph - Harry’s book is not compatible with the UK having a constitutional monarchy. He is actively undermining an entire system because he is a self-centred twerp. Of course he couldn’t have his cake and eat it. He couldn’t have a role in the Royal Family and an unmolested private life. He has chosen to undermine his whole family and the British constitution. I agree the whole institution is ridiculous and outdated, however, but think he is too thick to realise what he is really doing.

This.

I think my biggest problems with Harry and this book are:

1. As many have already said, he's quick to point out everyone else's mistakes, wrongs or lies but never his own. If he did anything it was always because someone else told him - like the 'encouragement' from PW to dress up as a nazi. This is a grown man. Can't he think for himself and decide 'no, best not to do that'?

2. He wants to move on. He wants a private life. So in order to get it he includes private things about his family in his book. It's fair enough to say 'dad had more time for his future wife than for us'. It's fine to say 'I sometimes found it hard to get my place in the family' and give a few examples. But why do you have to include the fact that your wife got upset over a lip gloss (just makes her look flaky to be honest) or that your brother upset your wife by being put out when she hugged him when they first met. To be honest that just made Harry look like a bad boyfriend (who doesn't prep the girlfriend about the 'funny' ways your family has). If I'd have been Meghan I'd have been unimpressed with Harry for embarrassing me. Unless she ignored his advice, which makes her look very controlling. Either way, one of them is at fault.

I'll borrow it from the library. I'm not putting more money into his hands. He doesn't need it and he's sold out people who can't answer back. Mind you I'd love to see it - I imagine there's plenty that PW could add that wouldn't make Harry or Meghan look great either.

Then we'd have a proper view point and could make our own decision.

Who makes you the arbiter of what people should read? Hope you have the same conversation with everyone you see buying the Daily Fail.

Perhaps you should read how trauma impacts people's ability to learn, instead of posting on here.

@Greenfairydust you’ve chopped the sentence in half! Read the full thing, you’ve misunderstood there.

@Phos Indeed - telling of the massive impact his mother's death had on him I suppose.

I'm working my way through the book. Before reading, and going by all of the articles written by the tabloids after the leaked and translated copies in Spain, I went in thinking Harry was: stupid, mentally ill, naive, self-centred, somewhat brainwashed by Meghan and under her thumb. That he was a disgrace, even. Even after his three interviews in the lead up to Tuesday's launch I didn't feel great about him (Tom Brady, Anderson Cooper and GMA). However, having started the book and watched him on the Late Show, my view has changed a lot.

Few people have described him as such, but he's incredibly brave 'taking on' the establishment like this and I feel he's not scared either.

While I don't think he's trying to take down the monarchy, I do feel he is trying to free the RF from the shackles of the tabloid press and to reform all of the unhealthy and dysfunctional aspects of being a British royal.

For some reason, writing the above just made me think of the Black Mirror episode with Miley Cyrus where she's a celebrity who lives in luxury but is completely controlled, abused and manipulated by those around her - all for money-making purposes. Outside looking in, things are all perfect. But the reality is that there's a lot of abuse and dysfunction. I don't think anyone in the public eye should be treated like that and there are definitely parallels with the RF and their aides. It's as though the BRF's been the greatest, most successful circus / freak show in the world. And no matter how well-fed or -dressed the 'act' is, it's just not right.

I don’t fancy paying £15 for this book atm but do think it sounds like an entertaining read. At least more entertaining than the documentary which I found surprisingly boring.

It’s possible to have a bit of sympathy for the pair of them, believe they have been wronged to an extent but also find them overly self important, spiteful and, essentially, people who have decided to make a full time job out of monetising his complaints about his family. Their output would be much less profitable and much less marketable if they only spoke about their grievances against the media.

Most people are also able to read a newspaper article/watch the news and ascertain what’s journalistic opinion/spin and what’s a direct quotation. Most people approach the Mail and Sun etc with caution. I haven’t read the book yet so I don’t know Harry’s full version of his truth, but I have been turned off enough by the documentary and his interviews which don’t appear to offer any kind of personal reflection to not want to pay full price for it.

If anyone who has read it would like to elucidate more on the following, I’d be interested to hear your thoughts…

The bit in the press that came across the worst to me was the story of the tiara. I don’t get why the lady who was in charge of tiaras would have it in for Harry unless he did something to piss her off/was rude and demanding. She works for the Queen, has been asked to provide a service for Meghan and it’s her job to do so. What’s her motive for the ‘this is unfinished business’ look? Did she make it difficult to get hold of the tiara because she, like the rest of the world, wants to victimise Harry? Or did he turn up at short notice and put someone who he has an immense balance of power over in a difficult situation by wanting to take a very precious item out without following the proper procedures?

Are any of the stories properly explained in the book? The bridesmaid dress stuff that was reported was so vague that I couldn’t figure out how anyone (either Meghan or Kate) could possibly understand enough about what the other person was thinking to be able to get upset about it, let alone sobbing on the floor upset.

Does it explain why he thinks Camilla is still leaking stories such as the dress one? She’s been married for years now. What’s she hiding that she needs to cover up?

I think it would probably make a lively book club discussion so there’s an incentive for me to read it I guess.

Best to actually copy the whole sentence @Greenfairydust

I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky.

'much like Wednesday Addams, I don't do perky'

I think you ought to learn how to cut and paste...

Frankly, I don't think I could ever read this, even if they paid me for it. The book I'm waiting for is the one written by the nine aides that quit in the 18-month period while they were in the UK, including the nanny and Markle's own PA. Also, the staff at their Archewell foundation who have since left. Why do you think all these employees are leaving such prestigious posts? That's what I'm interested in! Of course, the Markles no doubt made them sign an NDA, so we'll never know. That's where the real story is!

Agree with this, so bored of him now.

I don’t think you know the British constitution because the Royal Family are a constitutional monarchy without governing powers so cannot ‘make a mockery of democracy’ which is in the hands of an elected Parliament

I was just going to post something very similar to this. OP sums it up very well.

interesting how poor harry was affected by the loss of his mother but wiliam was not!