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The royal family

Is Harry just going through a bad case of Limerence?

154 replies

Pearmain · 09/12/2022 17:40

It seems to fit the description and would explain how it seems like he’s totally taken leave of his senses.

It must be so hard for the Royals but I wonder if they can see this which is why they’ve not cut him off, they know they’ll need to be there to help him pick up the pieces when he snaps out of it.

OP posts:
RosettaStormer · 09/12/2022 23:12

BellePeppa · 09/12/2022 19:27

There is something seriously yuck (I won’t say ick) though about a man wanting his wife to be so like his mum that he declares to anyone who will listen how she is just like Diana. It’s disturbing and must be a huge turn off physically for both or either of them. I couldn’t stay attracted to a man like that no matter his status or wealth.

That’s a good point. It’s really quite incestuous.

Abcghjiu · 09/12/2022 23:17

These two have a constant air of desperation, dysfunction and deceit about them.
Why did they want to stay in the RF in the half in / half out model that they proposed? If it was that unbearable? It doesn’t make sense and it felt like they rewrote history - oops I mean the narrative- when the Queen told them they wouldn’t get what they want. Would love if someone can answer this as I haven’t ever seen it explained.
On the subject of deceit, I loved how the BBCR4 well-respected journalist Mishal Hussain gently but firmly - and oh so elegantly - refuted Meghan’s claim that the engagement interview was staged.
I just can’t take anything they say seriously, too much of it is “their own truth” as opposed to … the truth. I haven’t watched the episodes but saw the curtsy clip and it was excruciating. Finally, it’s interesting how the different generations are responding to this. I have a teen DD and neither she nor any of her peers are giving this a second glance. The impression I get is that her generation see H&M as old (understandable from a teen’s perspective), irrelevant and selling out/desperate. So their time is probably quite limited if they want to cash in and stay relevant.

RosettaStormer · 09/12/2022 23:19

HeadAboveTheParapet · 09/12/2022 22:46

I think he's a terrible husband.

He didn't get her help when she was pregnant and in MH crisis instead took her to a very public engagement. You can't convince me that he couldn't have got her help within 20min if he'd have tried. They started a MH charity for goodness sake!

Didn't warn her or run interception on the racist family members she encounter. we all have dodgy family we know need to be kept away from people they will offend! You warn people about the worst and keep them away.

Didn't give her the heads up on protocol and behaviour expected.
The royals aren't a normal family. He should have told her that she would be kept at arms length especially at the beginning.
Meeting InLaws is quite a big thing, royal in laws even more so. He should have warned her.

The list goes on.

If MM was on here we'd all be telling her she had a DH problem!

I think he wanted what Wills has with the Middleton's. A semi normal family life being taken into a loving, whole family- outside f royal engagements. No it's not perfect but it's very much what the boys didn't have growing up.

Unfortunately he fell for someone who didn't have that either. They haven't got the extended family security, they are pushing away what they could have had. But every time MM says something about not realising, not knowing, putting her foot in it or being surprised at protocol etc I think Harry you did that to her!

No, she could easily have done some basic research. She was so desperate to bag him she didn’t care what was involved. That’s the long and the short of it. She was woefully ill prepared because she rushed into it and didn’t bother to look around and take stock, learn the ropes, watch some footage of the Royals on tour and doing walkabouts. Read up on British history. Those were the basics. She was too busy thinking about how marrying him would advance her own profile.

Dibbydoos · 09/12/2022 23:27

I think their story isn't one of being hard done by, but Megans inability to change and morph into a royal clone and Harry's open mind not accepting it needs to be confined or the royals being unable to bend and shape to accept Megan and Harry as they are.

I think they make a lovely couple, they're obviously very in love and look after each other. I'm pleased they are now living their own lives and grateful they have been open without spilling secrets.

I hope they are allowed to continue their lives unimpeded.

I am hugely disappointed that the Royal household could not make it work, though. It is so important we have diversity in the royal family as it keeps them up to date, modernised if you will. Megan gave them this opportunity and the royals standoffish behaviour and stiff upper lip got in the way....!

onlylarkin · 09/12/2022 23:29

stillvicarinatutu · 09/12/2022 19:35

What makes me laugh is this :

Charles - divorced/remarried the right woman
Anne - divorced/ remarried
Andrew- divorced/ dubious history and friends

Harry - married / apparently happy .

And the world chooses to dissect HIS marriage ! Accuse his wife of gold digging and him of not knowing his own mind .

He appears to be one the few people who have come out of that family in tact .

William and Catherine have been together over 20 years.

And yes Catherine was accused of being a gold digger. Remember the stories of she went to that school just to nab a Prince?

I think that the divorce affected both brothers they are making their way through their relationships how they are because of it.

onlylarkin · 09/12/2022 23:30

Wanting to add, I do get your point. The RF does seem to have marriage problems. But IMO it seems about to the 50% statistic in the general population.

DottieUncBab · 09/12/2022 23:34

McBurgerTime · 09/12/2022 18:28

Some of you are absolutely deranged with your Meghan obsession.

He's been with her for 6 years, married and they have two children. Is your husband in love with you or is it just limerance?

This

Eastie77Returns · 09/12/2022 23:35

I also think they are both quite damaged individuals. Harry seems to be suffering from ongoing trauma and appears very disturbed. Constantly comparing his wife to his dead mother is unhealthy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a complete breakdown in the not too distant future.

I hope Doria remains in the picture. Her grandchildren need her. It’s quite sad that they will probably grow up not knowing any of their aunts, uncles or cousins.

As for all the protocol, perhaps he didn’t explain it all to her as it was worried it would scare her off. He must realise that most lucid, sane people would find the formal protocol the RF follow in private completely bonkers.

Abcghjiu · 09/12/2022 23:35

Dibbydoos · 09/12/2022 23:27

I think their story isn't one of being hard done by, but Megans inability to change and morph into a royal clone and Harry's open mind not accepting it needs to be confined or the royals being unable to bend and shape to accept Megan and Harry as they are.

I think they make a lovely couple, they're obviously very in love and look after each other. I'm pleased they are now living their own lives and grateful they have been open without spilling secrets.

I hope they are allowed to continue their lives unimpeded.

I am hugely disappointed that the Royal household could not make it work, though. It is so important we have diversity in the royal family as it keeps them up to date, modernised if you will. Megan gave them this opportunity and the royals standoffish behaviour and stiff upper lip got in the way....!

What does “living their own lives” mean? There is literally no other option available to anyone.
What sort of impediment to their lives are you referring to? None of this word salad makes much sense.
If they want a quiet life it’s there for the taking, instead they have sold their souls (and by all accounts personal photos, videos and messages) to the highest bidder. It’s not a life most sane people would choose for themselves or their kids.

Mezmer · 09/12/2022 23:37

I think Meghan was full of genuine hope and optimism and walked into things with her eyes shut. I think Harry did an absolutely terrible job of preparing her. I can see why he fell for her. She is extremely attractive in many ways. But she is almost overconfident. I think he has had a very bad life and has been damaged. I feel sorry for him and his life. He’s lost. But I think Meghan through sheer fortitude has done very well to get where she has. I think they are quite a sweet couple. But I don’t see why they think that this route is a positive route than sticking with it and using their influence to drive change from within. They could have taken all the good energy and vibes from the general public and channelled it into modernising the family. I think with the right direction, Meghan would have been strong enough to have done that if Harry had had it in him to back her up and guide her. Like William has done with Kate. Harry is the weaker of them both. Meghan is more intelligent and knows what she thinks.

onlylarkin · 09/12/2022 23:41

radrado · 09/12/2022 20:31

Not normally a fan of Sarah Vine or the Mail but I think she’s bang on here

www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-11517865/SARAH-VINE-Palace-needs-start-taking-Harry-Meghan-problem-seriously-indeed.html

While I do not agree with the tone of the article, I agree with the point 100%.

This was not Meghans doing, she was the catalyst.

I noticed a pp mentioned it was known that H used to mold himself into his girlfriends. That is a classic warning sign of someone deeply upset with himself and his life. He has said on record that he was unhappy being a royal.

This was going to happen eventually IMO.

CurrentHun · 10/12/2022 04:39

Well I think they’re both emotionally damaged by their family backgrounds (who wouldn’t be) plus the consequences of being famous in their own worlds.
Harry seems like he was looking for an out all along, and this rings very true As for all the protocol, perhaps he didn’t explain it all to her as it was worried it would scare her off. He must realise that most lucid, sane people would find the formal protocol the RF follow in private completely bonkers.
I wish they’d stayed in the RF originally because I thought she was going to help them both modernise the RF, now I realise that’s an unfair burden to place on any one ot two individuals. That said I have no animosity for the RF- Andrew excepted who is a subject of other threads. All of these people are as much a product of their environment and upbringing as Harry or Megan is.,I think it’s pretty bitchy of H&M (as they call themselves) to imply Kate is so frosty when she seems likely to be the most normal person in the whole family and (as Meghan said) just trying really hard not to put a foot wrong. I guess Meghan had heard a lot of reminiscing about how fun Diana was all the time and maybe expected everyone else to be ‘like’ her.

CurrentHun · 10/12/2022 04:40

As Meghan said of herself, I mean.

IamSamantha · 10/12/2022 06:14

So I watched the 3 episodes and have decided H&M do genuinely love each other but it's a not just love its an overly romantised, victim based dependancy. Us against the world.

The cultural differences between USA's positive, self affirming confidence and lack of class hierarchy plus huge racial problems and the British class system, birth right, know your place and social distaste for confident, self affirmative and vocal progression have never been more apparent. You also have Harry who is not as humble as maybe we thought and has been raised knowing he was different, special and never fully meshed with anyone because he is born into such a different world.

Both are damaged and have childhood attachment issues. Neither have found acceptance in the world. They have unmet needs and they can bridge some of that gap with each other and their children but deep down H is angry, hurt, immature and very frightened. M is frustrated, self important has no understanding of British social structure, its complexity and she doesn't seem to get that even if she was white she would still get bad press because of her social status. She only knows this kind of marginalisation due to racism her mother initially experienced and this is why she and her mother perceives it as racism and many in UK do not. For the UK it's not a race issue it's a class issue. Neither are acceptable but the missmatch of these perceptions is a huge communication barrier.

Harry has failed to prepare M for the social difference and class structure. He was so in love with her and gave her too much misplaced credit for knowing how to act due to her public life. He has failed her and he knows it, trying to over compensate now. M needed someone, anyone to take her under their wing in the RF and mold her to match the protocol. I have my doubts M would accept such advise because she simply didn't understand the depth of the protocols and this adherence equates to respect of the monarchy and history of the RF. She is nieve and self important. She would deem it ridiculous the British people see it as disrespectful and self centred and H floats along with rose tinted glasses and huge deep seated fear he's going to be abandoned again by the nearest person who reminds him of his mother.

H&M don't feel heard or understood, the British people feel their heritage has been attacked and are defensive. The media in the UK has no morals, its all about what sells and they do and will destroy people.

It's a mediation nightmare that's go too messy with cultural differences of the USA's loud, self affirmative and modern culture against the UKs 1000 year old institution of its Monarchy, class structure and need for refined, respectful, underplayed controlled behaviour which is certainly not achieved by a netflix contract 🙈. A simple book is deemed as in poor taste in the UK.

custardbear · 10/12/2022 06:31

I think he's head over heels for her and is acting like a love sick puppy.
With Meghan I think she came to the UK to bag herself a husband, seem to recall a footballer from many moons ago, and got herself a very damaged prince whom she can use as a puppet for her own elevation, and she's playing a long game, but has manipulated everything to suit her along the way.

The sense of entitlement from them both is disgusting, literally everything they have is borne out of the public purse be it their lives as royals or them using their status / titles which is off the back of his grandmothers monarchy and RF she created, that they hate so much, and are going out of their way to destroy by taking in the millions£$
Their love story is just fairytale guff, they've stamped over their own families, built themselves an ivory tower and are hosing shit over everyone - it's disgusting. As for loving the queen, who do they think build the RF and their works/business they hate so much and are trying to destroy?... the bloody queen!

dancingqueen123 · 10/12/2022 06:40

I think I've probably made three posts about them since September. If you could tell me how many posts on any subject I'm allowed to make before it qualifies as 'obsession' then I'll take due note and modify my bad behaviour

I mean, that is one a month. It's a bit odd. @MrsDanversGlidesAgain 🤷🏻‍♀️

DillDanding · 10/12/2022 06:55

They seem perfectly happy and obviously in love. I don’t get the obsession some have with wanting to see them fail. I hope they go off laughing into the sunset with their millions of dollars from Netflix.

lightisnotwhite · 10/12/2022 07:17

stillvicarinatutu · 09/12/2022 19:35

What makes me laugh is this :

Charles - divorced/remarried the right woman
Anne - divorced/ remarried
Andrew- divorced/ dubious history and friends

Harry - married / apparently happy .

And the world chooses to dissect HIS marriage ! Accuse his wife of gold digging and him of not knowing his own mind .

He appears to be one the few people who have come out of that family in tact .

It’s only because Harry’s marriage has revealed problems with his family. Which he is choosing to share to the public. He may have a happy marriage but surely no one believes the Royal family disliked Meghan so much it caused all this? None of the evidence points to that. Meghan left because she didn’t want the job not because of toxic in laws and people get fed up / worried that it’s being twisted.

All your other examples did in fact have the couples personalities and previous marriages dissected at great depth. Aside from Andrew who clearly has a problem the other Royals are happy functioning human beings.

Ineedtocleanmywoodenblinds · 10/12/2022 07:19

They’ve been together for 6 years and have 2 children. I’d say it’s slightly more than a limerence (which like many others only ever see if referred to on MN).

walkersareback · 10/12/2022 07:24

@lightisnotwhite

"Meghan left because she didn’t want the job not because of toxic in laws and people get fed up / worried that it’s being twisted."

Really? How do you know this?

This is a ridiculous thread - and yes I do consider myself ridiculous for posting on it.

sjxoxo · 10/12/2022 07:31

They seem like a normal married couple to me.. apart from the fact he’s royal etc. I don’t read the tabloids but don’t get why everyone is obsessed with them?! They both seem fine imo. X

Calphurnia88 · 10/12/2022 07:31

IamSamantha · 10/12/2022 06:14

So I watched the 3 episodes and have decided H&M do genuinely love each other but it's a not just love its an overly romantised, victim based dependancy. Us against the world.

The cultural differences between USA's positive, self affirming confidence and lack of class hierarchy plus huge racial problems and the British class system, birth right, know your place and social distaste for confident, self affirmative and vocal progression have never been more apparent. You also have Harry who is not as humble as maybe we thought and has been raised knowing he was different, special and never fully meshed with anyone because he is born into such a different world.

Both are damaged and have childhood attachment issues. Neither have found acceptance in the world. They have unmet needs and they can bridge some of that gap with each other and their children but deep down H is angry, hurt, immature and very frightened. M is frustrated, self important has no understanding of British social structure, its complexity and she doesn't seem to get that even if she was white she would still get bad press because of her social status. She only knows this kind of marginalisation due to racism her mother initially experienced and this is why she and her mother perceives it as racism and many in UK do not. For the UK it's not a race issue it's a class issue. Neither are acceptable but the missmatch of these perceptions is a huge communication barrier.

Harry has failed to prepare M for the social difference and class structure. He was so in love with her and gave her too much misplaced credit for knowing how to act due to her public life. He has failed her and he knows it, trying to over compensate now. M needed someone, anyone to take her under their wing in the RF and mold her to match the protocol. I have my doubts M would accept such advise because she simply didn't understand the depth of the protocols and this adherence equates to respect of the monarchy and history of the RF. She is nieve and self important. She would deem it ridiculous the British people see it as disrespectful and self centred and H floats along with rose tinted glasses and huge deep seated fear he's going to be abandoned again by the nearest person who reminds him of his mother.

H&M don't feel heard or understood, the British people feel their heritage has been attacked and are defensive. The media in the UK has no morals, its all about what sells and they do and will destroy people.

It's a mediation nightmare that's go too messy with cultural differences of the USA's loud, self affirmative and modern culture against the UKs 1000 year old institution of its Monarchy, class structure and need for refined, respectful, underplayed controlled behaviour which is certainly not achieved by a netflix contract 🙈. A simple book is deemed as in poor taste in the UK.

You have nailed it. Seriously.

I don't think I've ever been able to articulate my thoughts on H&M but you just have.

RendersMute · 10/12/2022 07:42

Not Limerence, no. Harry does seem to worship her. She has the strangest body language larking around in a faux puerile way. I think she does love him back and they will stay together. But no-one would give a shit if theydidin't televise their relationship on Netflix. It's so ironic Harry has hated press intrusion all his life yet his wife is coveting the limelight and it looks like they will try and have some sort of Sussex US reality show, which is the opposite of the private life that at leats heart wanted. But he'll do as Meggie tells him.

Mezmer · 10/12/2022 07:56

I agree Iamsamantha has nailed it. The sheer complexity of it all! Nothing good can come out of any of it.

RosettaStormer · 10/12/2022 07:59

IamSamantha · 10/12/2022 06:14

So I watched the 3 episodes and have decided H&M do genuinely love each other but it's a not just love its an overly romantised, victim based dependancy. Us against the world.

The cultural differences between USA's positive, self affirming confidence and lack of class hierarchy plus huge racial problems and the British class system, birth right, know your place and social distaste for confident, self affirmative and vocal progression have never been more apparent. You also have Harry who is not as humble as maybe we thought and has been raised knowing he was different, special and never fully meshed with anyone because he is born into such a different world.

Both are damaged and have childhood attachment issues. Neither have found acceptance in the world. They have unmet needs and they can bridge some of that gap with each other and their children but deep down H is angry, hurt, immature and very frightened. M is frustrated, self important has no understanding of British social structure, its complexity and she doesn't seem to get that even if she was white she would still get bad press because of her social status. She only knows this kind of marginalisation due to racism her mother initially experienced and this is why she and her mother perceives it as racism and many in UK do not. For the UK it's not a race issue it's a class issue. Neither are acceptable but the missmatch of these perceptions is a huge communication barrier.

Harry has failed to prepare M for the social difference and class structure. He was so in love with her and gave her too much misplaced credit for knowing how to act due to her public life. He has failed her and he knows it, trying to over compensate now. M needed someone, anyone to take her under their wing in the RF and mold her to match the protocol. I have my doubts M would accept such advise because she simply didn't understand the depth of the protocols and this adherence equates to respect of the monarchy and history of the RF. She is nieve and self important. She would deem it ridiculous the British people see it as disrespectful and self centred and H floats along with rose tinted glasses and huge deep seated fear he's going to be abandoned again by the nearest person who reminds him of his mother.

H&M don't feel heard or understood, the British people feel their heritage has been attacked and are defensive. The media in the UK has no morals, its all about what sells and they do and will destroy people.

It's a mediation nightmare that's go too messy with cultural differences of the USA's loud, self affirmative and modern culture against the UKs 1000 year old institution of its Monarchy, class structure and need for refined, respectful, underplayed controlled behaviour which is certainly not achieved by a netflix contract 🙈. A simple book is deemed as in poor taste in the UK.

Absolutely this. Sums it up perfectly.