Heir and Spare

[Nard75]

Looking to the future and all the problems that have happened with Harry being the spare and being treated differently to his older brother. How do you think William will handle this with his 2 children seeing as he has spare X2. I feel William has been unsympathetic towards the position that Harry has been in so how will he feel when it is his 2 children are going through the same thing that their Uncle did.

Presumably the slimming down of the Royal Family will help. For instance, I don't think it helps for grandchildren of the monarch to be HRHs.

Not a fan of Harry but people calling him a spare is and has always been horrible. As if he doesn't count and isn't a person who is loved too.

The heir and spare cycle is really toxic and we've seen the same patterns play out over three generations now going into a fourth.

In every generation, the heir is the important one and the spare exists to protect the heir. In every generation the spare is given a negative or scandalous media persona so the heir can be portrayed as whiter than white (and every generation, the public genuinely believe these media personas are real and an accurate reflection of the real people!). In every generation the Palace allows or even encourages the press to print bad stories about the spare while trying to censor anything bad about the heir. In every generation the heir has a sacred purpose while the spare drifts purposelessly. In every generation there is discord between the heir and spare.

Princess Margaret had a wild child persona pushed on her by the press since she was young. She couldn't marry the man she loved, wound up going through a divorce, life beset with scandal, never really accomplished anything, and ended up an alcoholic and seemed bitter.

Andrew's life has been beset with scandal, money woes and failed business ventures, and now he's widely regarded as a rapist. Edward struggled and had scandals for years, failed military career, failed theatre career, failed TV career, filming William at university scandal, Sophie fake sheik scandal, personal life rumours before ultimately settling for a life of dutiful royal engagements that avoids scandal by being too dull for anyone to take interest. Anne's the only one who escaped the curse of the spare and the only one who actually accomplished something (her horse riding career) for herself.

Harry everyone knows about.

You can already see how it's beginning with a fourth generation. The Cambridges are still young children yet the media are already creating personas for them, and the family trot them out whenever they need a PR boost or are fighting some scandal. The tabloids always portray George as preternaturally mature, serious and well-behaved, while Charlotte and Louis are portrayed as the naughty ones (often with euphemisms like rambunctious, mischievous, energetic, over-tired, through earlier this year a tabloid literally printed ie made up a story with the headline "Charlotte is the naughtiest of all the Cambridge children"). Any time the younger two don't act like perfect robo-children the press jump on the chance to write lots of articles about how naughty they are, that doesn't happen with George. A reporter was even asked to delete footage and not report on George saying he wanted Djokovic to win. What will happen when Charlotte and Louis are teens and start dating and going out? When they have to start choosing their careers and life paths? When the Palace start leaking scandals about Charlotte to protect George? When Louis has to decide between supporting his brother or following whatever his career passion is?

They need to find a way to stop that and protect the spares and not have so much divide. Harry talked about needing to break the cycle and got mocked. In 20 years will Charlotte and Louis be working privately towards meaningful careers and lives, or will they be the new tabloid whipping boys?

Yes, Charles' siblings have had their issues but for the most part they are seen as loyal and supportive.

I think a lot of people would be happy to not be the one who has to sit on the throne.

I was thinking the same today when I saw the two kids at the funeral on tv. Charlotte is already treated as a spare, not going to all events etc. I wonder how they handle this to make sure she feels ok.

I feel William has been unsympathetic towards the position that Harry has been in

In what ways do you feel William has been unsympathetic?

I’ve never really been interested in the Royal Family, but the Queen’s death lead me to this board and I’ve noticed that many posters appear to think that William is or should be responsible for the relationship with Harry, and that it is William who should be more accommodating towards Harry and his feelings.

I wonder how sympathetic Harry has been towards William’s situation? I don’t think for a moment that William has the better deal of the two.

Shes 7... of course she goes to less stuff. If they were 14&15 you would have a point there.

Excellent post. One of the very few posts about the royals worth reading on MN in fact.

I feel the same. It’s William I feel the more sorry for at this point. Throughout his whole life the number of people he could truly TRUST will have been small. Surround see by people seeking only to increase their own power and influence by association with him.

But at least he had his family, and they are by general rule a very closed and fiercely protective family, and in particular his brother - with whom he shared the happiest and bleakest of times. Who he knew he could always rely on to keep private the things shared between them.

But now his brother has broken irrevocably that trust. It’s gone. For them, with the their history with the press, it’s an ultimate betrayal - to sell and share deeply personal things about the family to the press.

It will never ever be as it was. William will never again be able to speak freely with his brother as he used to, he will always be aware that what he says may be shared. In a way he must feel like he’s lost his brother, as he is now really no different from all the many others who surround him. So he is treating him accordingly. It seems so jarring my cold and distant as we are used to seeing them so close, but William is simply protecting himself and his family, and ultimately the Crown, which will come to him and his son in time, from someone who has shown themselves to be a threat to those things he cares most deeply about.

The 'spare' gatecrashed a private party. He just assumed he would be welcomed with open arms and indeed a number of 'wives of' did just that.

Largely he was ignored.

I hope that with the Cambridges having 3 kids that Louis and Charlotte can feel they have each other looking out for them whilst George gets more support with being the heir. As pp said, having so much media coverage so young can be incredibly damaging - Louis sad being primed for the cheeky Prince Harry role at the jubilee celebrations.

Theres definitely been a sense that The Crown must be protected, hence the RF not telling the press to back off from the negative stories about Harry. Charles in particular seems very nervous of upsetting the media having rehabilitated his image. So personal family relationships will always take a back seat

Anne's the only one who escaped the curse of the spare and the only one who actually accomplished something (her horse riding career) for herself

Ah, so it is possible?

I think that’s why he had 3. 4 is probably too many , and 2 as we have seen causes sibling rivalry issues. 3 is probably a wiser number to have.

I think there’s also a lot to be said about knowing you were born out of love - that your parents loved each other at the time and continue to love each other. Harry never had that. He would likely never have been born had he not been ‘required’ and that must mess you up as a person, knowing you parents didn’t really want to have you but had to out of duty. And the then went their separate ways not long afterwards.

I wouldn't mind being the spare!
It allowed others to have their party lifestyle with less responsibility.

Once Harry leaves again, they will never return. His family don’t seem to give a damn about him other than throw him under a bus since he was a child. Continually made a scapegoat while William was protected at all costs.
I imagine there has been numerous times of conflict over the years which led to him leaving. Too easy to blame his marriage but it must have been building for years and years.

Princess Diana talked of having done her duty producing an Heir and a Spare so Harry got his label from his mother.

Harry was thrown to the wolves to cover up Williams affair.

He sat back and allowed that to happen.

I'm not surprised Harry wants nothing to do with him after that treatment.

In every generation the heir has a sacred purpose while the spare drifts purposelessly. I read your entire post with the theme of BTVS playing in my head.

Do you think that is at least partly because the rules when she was younger meant that she was never going to be queen?

So we really think William had an affair?

I feel William has been unsympathetic towards the position that Harry has been in

Fgs. Pray tell, what should William have done?

Yes, like his father and grandfather before him.

Hopefully Charlotte and Louis can graduate away and marry happily and either find a passion in life that can become a profession (racing? Breeding horses? Art?) or live off private investments / a gifted estate. Louis’s children should not be princes or HRH and hers won’t be anyway. They can be royals, not Royals and live happily ever after, supporting their grandfather, father and brother in private.

I'm with you and the PP who mentioned the history of the 'spare'.

You are very important, until the heir provides an heir. Then, you're redundant but still expected to devote your life to serving someone's else's interests. Who the fuck would do that?