A positive and non-bashing thread about Meghan and Harry

[MrsMaxDeWinter]

I have rejoined Mumsnet after leaving a few times. The first time I left was because I was concerned about the coverage and uncomfortable undertone of the commentary on Meghan Markle after the engagement was announced, before she had said a word, and before she had married into the Royal Family.

I came back around the time she and Harry left the UK, to be stunned by the pages and pages upon pages of virulent threads. At that time Mumsnet actually banned all threads about Meghan, it had become so toxic.

They have now made their lives in Montecito, but still the virulence continues. Yes, she speaks in a mix of therapy plus corporate gobbledegook, yes, she is occasionally vapid and irritating.

But who is she actually harming that she deserves all this virulence?

Yesterday, when the new UK Prime Minister was elected, the coverage in the Super Tory Daily Mail was all about a seven minute speech to a bunch of young people. Article after article after article. Body language experts. Counting the number of times she said "I" in a speech in which she sought to inspire young people by attempting to relate to them. Before that, 18 articles were devoted to the first podcast by the Daily Mail alone. 18!

Same with her podcasts. The series is about HER and HER take on labels, and she discusses HER take with HER guests.

It's all very anodyne, even vanilla. It does not deserve any of the vitriol sent her way.

SO:

As the next twelve weeks are going to be wall to wall Meghan, and the Meghan haters and detractors have several threads here that fill up rapidly with bile, scorn and mockery, I have started this thread, reminiscent of previous " positive" threads, to talk about what some of us like, enjoy, find amusing and even (gasp) admire, in the next few Meghan rich weeks.

If you don't have anything positive to say, that's okay, you can keep to the existing threads.

Looking forward to a bile-free discussion of everything Meghan!

but Meghan haters seem to seek her out to pick apart every tiny detail - I don't get it

If we scratch the surface of these threads, none of them are actually about H & M at all but about royalty, a concept that they are undermining. By leaving, H & M have provided us with an insight into what 'non-royalty' might look like, which, so far, seems remarkably the same except now populated by ' influencer celebrities' rather than 'royalty' - and, I guess, people don't like it much.

I've gone the other way. I disliked the engagement interview. All that nonsense about 'boots on the ground' and getting to know the Commonwealth. I agreed with Stephen from Gogglebox who said 'How pushy is she'. I thought many aspects of the wedding were odd and disconcerting. Then the Oprah interview was the nadir. But now I feel good luck to them and urge them to try and mend fences with their families.

It means 'bitterness, hostility, rancour' .

Do you imagine a person can have sympathy with just one person? Is their a limit on sympathy?
There are very many people I feel for at the moment because of this Government and the cost of living crisis, and how the energy prices will impact those on pre paid meters, who pay more anyway, and OAPs whose energy bills takes more than two thirds of their state pension, and families who are working more than two jobs, having to juggle what little money they have to feed their children. The lack of MH services and the pressure the NHS is under. Shall I go on?

However, I also feel for M,&H at times because everything they do is picked apart by a vile media to make money. And there are some horrible people around who are obsessed with every they do and are desperate for the marriage to fail

This, exactly this.

The only positive I can think was she looked good in the red outfit she wore yesterday.

The thing that irks me about Megan is she consistently just misses the mark. She could use her position for such good but it always just misses

For example - the interview with Serena. It could have been phenomenal given the huge challenges Serena has faced but it just ended up being simpering and egotistical.

Today she is quoted as saying she was an ugly ducking due to frizzy hair and gap teeth growing up. Frizzy hair presumably being her natural Afro hair. What message does that send to young girls? This is her own podcast not the Daily Mail usual witterings.

I feel like she missed the media coaching - rather than constantly rally against the press she needs to step back and reevaluate what she wants to achieve and use her power and platform wisely

We've allowed ourselves to be manipulated into disliking her

But there are also some standalone actions that go beyond media spin such as not turning up for the Marines service that the public will be making a judgement on.

I actually like her - It's hard to dislike someone you don't know. She seems to be a hard worker. I knew her from her TV series before she met the Prince. I thought she was actually good in that. I like her sense of style and also love their involvement in Charity work!

It's not what she said - I think you are missing the mark. She is saying that's how she was portrayed . . . . Lots of people who look like her or with similar features will identify with that and understand.

I think this is a really important point highlighted by lemmein. We seem happy as a nation to sit back and allow our public narrative to be dominated by the likes of Murdoch and Rothermere.

Dan Wooton and his colleagues earn a lot of money creating a pantomime hate figure out of MM. It's all about the money.

And power.

Speaking of which, remember that Prince Charles encoraged friends to leak stories about the supposed mental instability of Diana to the press or the fact that she was " a loose cannon" and according to PatrickJephson, the heavy hitting PR company in Prince Charles's pay rehabilitated the image of Camilla by damaging Diana's. So it has all been done before, this shadowy, or not so shadowy, destruction of the reputation of anyone who seeks to criticise the RF who imho remain wholly intent on defending and preserving their own existence.

And in response to the interesting point about " no individual should be allowed to put their selfish interests above the Crown as the Crown always wins", are we all entirely sure that the RF's interests are completely altruistic? Why is it necessary, in this day and age, to have four or five properties each while serving the country?

Still have not had a chance to listen to the podcast yet, but just came on SM to find Mindy posting about it.

Love those last two posts @lemmein and @Fishpawsandchips

What strikes me about the Meghan hate is how instinctive it is, how reflexive, and how uninterested her detractors are in examining their own biases. Those who wish she would "just shut up" for instance don't seem to realise that she has given just three interviews in three years (OW, eLLEN, The Cut). But every week there is an article speculating about what she says or thinks. If the media reported on just what she actually said or did, there would not be much. But it is the endless analysis and regurgitation that makes people believes she "says" more than she actually does.

All of this.

Oops posted too soon.

That's the thing, and it seems that a specific group feels like this about this one specific woman.

Obsessive hate ruling these posters lives.

Been seeing a lot of praise for German reception on SM. 😀

I agree with your observations, @MrsMaxDeWinter

She seems to be the itch that certain sections of the gutter press and a lot of people here just can't stop scratching.

What an eye-opener the reaction to her has been.

MrsMaxDeWinter

She called the gutter press out on their behaviour.
What do you/she think their response was going to be? especially when she regularly 'mis speaks' herself.

I wouldn't be surprised if in the next few days we see people from where she went to school appearing in the press.

But it will keep her podcast visible and bring in more listeners/viewers so a Pyrrhic victory for both MM and the press.

That's so sad if they're caught in a trap. And can't look back. Because they need fame too much, baby. Why can't they see? [Etc]

I’d be shot fir this where I live but I love the queen. Fabulous lady, great monarch a real credit to Britain but the Royal family is totally and utterly a dysfunctional family. Harry has had enormous trauma losing his mother in the way he did and then the ire that was being directed at his wife in a similar way.

I think nothing but positive thoughts about both Harry and Meghan because for anyone who has ever tried to challenge a dysfunctional family they know it almost never ends well and they are attracting not just the wrath of the family but of an entire nation caught up in the narrative that the family has endeavoured to espouse.

I want them to just keep on succeeding and to recover as best as they can from what they have experienced.

But it is the endless analysis and regurgitation that makes people believes she "says" more than she actually does

Yes yes yes to this. Ok she's just given a speech but most of the time she barely says anything, they're not on SM but those that lap up the endless articles about them both, and her, talk like she's forever releasing statements or tweeting.
They aren't. Just accept that

No, it isn't hate. It's trying to make sense of events. She has done something very unusual - joined the RF and then left it suddenly - so the surprise would be if she were not discussed. Unusual or unique events are always far more interesting to discuss than routine or mundane ones.

@Prefernottosay

So agree with you.
I've said it many a time..well done them for leaving, you only live once

And for those who feel H&M have besmirched the institution of the Monarchy - get a hold of a decent history of the UK.

British monarchs were all awful individuals, terrible parents, adulterers, and inbred.

The Monarchy itself is a polite fiction. It exists so that there can be a figurehead giving authority to Parliament.

The Monarchy depends for its existence and what it likes to call its relevance on a carefully and deliberately curated form of celebrity, a brand if you will.

The Queen and Philip, and Charles too, may have laboured under the quaint misapprehension that the mystique of their positions conferred enough celebrity status on them to tide them through changing times, but actually what made them 'relevant' was Diana, and it was her looks and her own personality that did that, and of late, since the Queen has become everyone's favorite granny, she has claimed a certain amount of relevance herself. She did not enjoy any of the aura she currently has in her younger years, when she qas seen as stiff and haughty and remote.

Looking down your noses and sniffing at M&H being 'celebrities' is missing the point completely. The RF is completely driven by the culture of celebrity. H&M have just hopped aboard another brand.