A positive and non-bashing thread about Meghan and Harry

[MrsMaxDeWinter]

I have rejoined Mumsnet after leaving a few times. The first time I left was because I was concerned about the coverage and uncomfortable undertone of the commentary on Meghan Markle after the engagement was announced, before she had said a word, and before she had married into the Royal Family.

I came back around the time she and Harry left the UK, to be stunned by the pages and pages upon pages of virulent threads. At that time Mumsnet actually banned all threads about Meghan, it had become so toxic.

They have now made their lives in Montecito, but still the virulence continues. Yes, she speaks in a mix of therapy plus corporate gobbledegook, yes, she is occasionally vapid and irritating.

But who is she actually harming that she deserves all this virulence?

Yesterday, when the new UK Prime Minister was elected, the coverage in the Super Tory Daily Mail was all about a seven minute speech to a bunch of young people. Article after article after article. Body language experts. Counting the number of times she said "I" in a speech in which she sought to inspire young people by attempting to relate to them. Before that, 18 articles were devoted to the first podcast by the Daily Mail alone. 18!

Same with her podcasts. The series is about HER and HER take on labels, and she discusses HER take with HER guests.

It's all very anodyne, even vanilla. It does not deserve any of the vitriol sent her way.

SO:

As the next twelve weeks are going to be wall to wall Meghan, and the Meghan haters and detractors have several threads here that fill up rapidly with bile, scorn and mockery, I have started this thread, reminiscent of previous " positive" threads, to talk about what some of us like, enjoy, find amusing and even (gasp) admire, in the next few Meghan rich weeks.

If you don't have anything positive to say, that's okay, you can keep to the existing threads.

Looking forward to a bile-free discussion of everything Meghan!

People for 2 years have gone over this over and over yet people still claim she 'lied'. She did not lie. In many cultures, including in some African American cultures, it is common to have a non-legal wedding before the legal one, and still consider the non-legal one where they first exchanged vows, as their 'real' wedding. That is actually quite common in many countries and cultures. Yet for some reason, people in the UK simply cannot grasp this concept. That they exchanged vows in private 3 days before, and STILL consider it 'married' even though no registry etc was signed. That she (and many, many, many people around the globe) consider it 'married' and you don't, doesn't mean she 'lied'. It means you don't understand cultural nuance. She didn't lie. She was misunderstood.

Her assertion was absolutely, 100000% correct. There is absolutely no....way that the son of the (then) first in line would ever, ever be allowed even a modest wedding, let alone a registry one. This is Prince Henry. Not the son of Anne, Andrew or Edward. If he was the son of either of those 3, you'd have a point.

I don't think it's appropriate to apply nasty labels like 'gold digger' on anyone tbh.

Oh dear, you mistook my tone.

I am SO sorry that you are in tears over a post of mine. One of the bullying claims made about Meghan is that she used to fire off emails at 5 or 6 in the morning. If you take that against the background of the royal household rising with the Queen (apparently no hoovering or cleaning was allowed before 0900) then you can understand why she drove her staff bananas. Hence my amusement, at Meghan, not the Queen.

It was NOT meant at all as a slight on the Queen or her hard work. Sorry if it seemed otherwise.

Exactly-
I understood what @Roussette was saying.
Some posters are just being wilfully ignorant.

I attended an a lovely Nigerian wedding . It was called the traditional wedding and took place a week before what they called the ‘White wedding’.
The traditional wedding was actually regarded as the real wedding

I am very glad you agree Meghan should not have been called one

It was NOT meant at all as a slight on the Queen or her hard work. Sorry if it seemed otherwise.

I did take it as a slight because it seemed you were saying how hard Meghan worked while the queen was lazing around in bed. And it did upset me because it felt like she'd only just died and you were pulling her down to make Meghan seem better. And I'd liked that this thread had been chatty and friendly.

But I can see that I was being oversensitive and that's not what your intention had been. Thank you for explaining. I appreciate you took the time.

Oh I've started crying again. 🤷 It's ridiculous. I'm going to take a break and go clean the kitchen - that'll really give me something to cry about! 😁

As an aside, but it bothered me... When Harry flew up after the Queen had died the BBC kept going on about him 'traveling alone without Meghan... Meghan stayed in London...' etc etc. I actually started thinking there must be an issue and usually wives went but Meghan great opted not to, or not been invited.

Until I read (elsewhere) that Kate didn't go either. 🙄 Actually, I think it's entirely appropriate that neither of them went up to Scotland, but the way the BBC (well Huw Edwards I think) wouldn't stop going about Meghan's absence really made it seem pointed. I was cross at being manipulated and I'm ambivalent towards Meghan.

One last thing before I go. Neither Meghan nor Kate are golddiggers. I mean would they like the idea of marrying into royalty, probably. I would. But it's clear that both of them loved their husbands when they married and they were loved in return.
I hope both of them have long and happy marriages. Surely everyone would agree with that.

Now that is lovely

We're agreed then.

Yes I totally agree

Many of us understand your post in the context of the conversation- it’s easy to understand

Totally agree 😊

That is precisely Rousette’s point

That’s so lovely Marsha

Yes I agree, ultimately they're humans and let's not forget that we grew up with Harry. People are defensive over him because just as the queen was the nation's gran, this kid is like our own son. Not really, but you know what I mean.

I believe Meghan is a beautiful woman with a good heart. But if I'm honest, the moment I started to turn against her was the moment any criticism of her at all was held up as racism. That's such an unfair and facile accusation designed to shut down conversation. However in retrospect, that wasnt necessarily Meghans doing. I blame that on the social media warriors and wokesters

@MarshaMelrose

Thank you so much for understanding my explanation, and accepting my apology. And I completely understand your very justified teariness. It's truly the end of a remarkable era led by a remarkable woman. What I admire most about the Queen is that she was this ordinary girl who was not meant to be Queen, but because of a constitutional crisis, first her father, and then her stepped up, in the most extraordinary way. She was a woman who led a conservative, even arguably sexist institution, but left such a stamp on it, in her quiet, dogged way, that we really can imagine no better monarch. She was remarkable.

I am from an African commonwealth nation. Feelings against the Brits and colonialism run very high in my country of origin, but the Queen is regarded very fondly. She came to my country in the 1990s: being taken out of school to wave to her motorcade is one of my abiding childhood memories. I have two cousins, twins, born in 1982, who are called Charles and Diana! My grandmother had a dishcloth, memorabilia from that wedding, which was fought over in the traditional distribution of her personal items!!!

So yes, we have problems with imperialism in my country, it is part of our history, written into our very streets and schools, Queen Elizabeth High School, Prince Edward Secondary and so on, but the family as individuals truly made its way into our hearts.

Its part of why posters like me are so gutted that the huge opportunity to represent us in a monarchy we grew up with has been missed, and why we are so protective of Meghan.

@Tierne I like posters like you because you are not venomous. I would be happy to explain why race was a factor if we get another go at a second non-bashing thread, but thank you for acknowledging that these are essentially complex individuals.

We are coming to an end of our thread, but I really wanted to appreciate everyone, especially my girl @Roussette .

A shout out too to @derxa with whom I ALWAYS disagree when I am lurking on other threads, but who is always open to another view, even to being persuaded!

Thank you all SO much.

God save King Charles, and all his family. I wish nothing but good things for him, his family. and I mean ALL of them.

What the hell did this thread turn into? Now you are bashing Harry?

I saw it announced that the next installment of Meghans podcast will be delayed and she has canceled her upcoming press stop.

When they showed the family today looking at the flowers none of the gchildren had their spouses there so I assume it’s precedent or protocol that grandchildren spouses aren’t there.

She was also going to be on the 'Tonight Show' with Jimmy Fallon next week but has now postponed it. The RF are not going to allow themselves to be used as fodder to chit chat about on talk shows.

Gosh MrsMax what a post! It's made a grizzled old goat like me quite teary

I have two cousins, twins, born in 1982, who are called Charles and Diana!

This is one of the best things I have ever heard ❤️

What? The Royal Family did not cancel it. Meghans people did. The Royal Family did not allow anything to begin with.

Then why would William or any member of the RF want the birth right? If all the other members have it, so should Harry

Is this a trick question? They obviously want the goodies that the birthright offers but are clever enough to keep their mouths shut in the process. H seemingly also wants the goodies of the birthright but then slags it off